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Idea of progress/aide

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Idea of progress/aide
Message de a16a posté le 13-05-2017 à 15:59:26 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Je passe l'épreuve orale du baccalauréat bientôt et je souhaiterais établir une correction de ma notion avec vous.J'aimerais avoir vos avis pour améliorer au mieux ma copie.
Merci d'avance

Idea of progress
The notion that I’m going to deal with is the idea of progress. To begin with, I’d like to give a definition of the notion. Progress is an evolution, a development of ideas, an improvement. That allows to create a better world, that can help people such as the progress of the science, the new technologies for example. In relation to this notion, the topic of my presentation will be : India. It’s a land of contrast, being a traditional land but also a modern country. That’s why it’s interesting to wonder how India did to progress? First, we are going to see the social inequalities then a modern city: Bangalore.

First of all, the social inequality is caused by a traditional system called caste system. Indeed, the caste system has a religious basis. The Hindus believe in karma. They believe that the way you lead your life influences your reincarnation in your future. In class, we studied a document showing the caste system. In this document we can see that at the top we have the Brahmans (which correspond to the teachers and priest). However, the Dalits (poor people) are outside the caste system. That’s why this traditional system caused inequalities. Nevertheless, the caste system is now forbidden since 1950. So we have here the notion of progress because they took out this system.

Furthermore, the notion of progress can be linked at Bangalore. Indeed, we studied it thanks an oral comprehension called “modern technologies”. We have the idea of progress because when we think about manufactures in India, we associate it with poor working conditions or even child labor. Yet, Bangalore projects a totally different image. Moreover, attracts many international companies such as Google, Microsoft. Besides, before Indian engineers used to go to the United States, now engineers from all over the world want to work in Bangalore. So we have here the idea of progress because things have changed

To conclude, we can say that those documents show that India is evolution. They arrived to forbidden the caste system and create modern cities such as Bangalore. Moreover, this evolution allows to stop the stereotypes that some people have about India like child labor. Personally, I think that this progress can be a good inspiration for others cities which are in difficulties. Besides that can give them hope and courage to become a better city.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 13-05-2017 18:00


Réponse : Idea of progress/aide de laure95, postée le 13-05-2017 à 18:37:35 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
- the progress of the (pas de the) science, the (pas de the)new technologies
- It’s a land of contrast (pluriel)
- to wonder how India did to progress?: si tu veux faire une question directe, ne mets pas Wonder, sinon, il faut changer l'ordre des mots.
- First, we are going to see the (pas de the)social inequalities then a modern city: Bangalore.

- First of all, the (pas de the)social inequality is caused by a traditional system called (article)caste system.
- (which correspond to the teachers and priest (pluriel).
- That’s why this traditional system caused (présent)inequalities.
- the caste system is (présent perfect) now forbidden since 1950.
- So we have here the notion of progress: mal dit.
- because they took out (présent) this system.

-Furthermore, the notion of progress can be linked at (pas la bonne préposition)Bangalore.
- we studied it thanks (to)
- We have the idea of progress
- Moreover, (sujet?)attracts
- So we have here the idea of progress

- India is evolution: mal dit.
- They arrived (pas le bon verbe ici) to forbidden (to + infinitif) the caste system
- others (pas de s)cities which are in difficulties (mettre au singulier)




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