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Correction/texte

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/texte
Message de kerstin posté le 09-12-2016 à 11:05:06 (S | E | F)
Bonjour.
Quelqu'un pourrait-il m'aider à corriger ou améliorer mon texte svp s'il vous plait?.
Je dois écrire sur l'ouverture d'une clinique de procréation.Dire mon avis etc.
Merci pour vos réponses.

I don’t know if a genetic engineering fertility clinic is a good thing for our city.
I mean, « perfect baby », is that even possible? And if it is, would we want that? What make everybody unique is the imperfectness they have. What makes life meaningful is the randomness in our lives, if everybody is the same then you take away that randomness. But it doesn’t have only bad thing going for them.
That technology could save lives too, it could cure the genetic illness people have, it could help couples having trouble to procreate, or just can’t. You could chose the sex of your baby, some would say this is a bad thing but I think it could help countries where the gender differences is big. The more I talk about it, the more I’m divided on this clinic opening and if I want it to open.
I think I do, but it would need restriction or limits on what they can do. Helping people have children? Sure, but don’t let them chose everything about their baby, it would just look like a video game where you would customize your character. I know this comparison is too far-fetched but that’s what it is.
So yeah, that genetic engineering fertility clinic could be a good or bad thing. It could be good if we put limits to their action or could be bad if we let them do whatever they want, letting people decide everything about their child and creating some kind of “perfectness” to achieve for other people, which would be impossible because of their DNA.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 09-12-2016 11:52


Réponse : Correction/texte de here4u, postée le 09-12-2016 à 15:49:29 (S | E)
Hello!

I don’t know if/whether a genetic engineering fertility clinic is a good thing for our city.
I mean, « X perfect baby »: is that even possible?(si vous ne mettez pas les :, changez l'ordre des mots) And if it is, would we want that? What makeX everybody unique is the imperfectness they have. What makes life meaningful is the randomness in our lives, if everybody is the same then you take away that randomness. But it doesn’t have only bad thing going for them.
That technology could save lives too, it could cure the genetic illnessES people have, it could help couples having trouble to procreate, or just can’t. You could chose the sex of your baby,(would that be such an advantage?) some would say this is a bad thing but I think it could help countries where the gender differences is big. The more I talk about it, the more I’m divided on this clinic opening and if I want it to open.(very clumsy!)
I think I do(développez...I would like XXXX to be developed), but it would need restrictionS or limits on what they ?? (who's that?)can do. Helping people have children? Sure, but don’t let them chose everything about their baby, it would just look like a video game where you would customize your character. I know this comparison is too far-fetched but that’s what it is.(what it may look like...)
So yeah, that genetic engineering fertility clinic could be a good or bad thing. It could be good if we put limits to their action or could be bad if we let them do whatever they want, letting people decide everything about their child and creating some kind of “perfectness” to achieve for other people, which would be impossible because of their DNA.( revoir la construction de cette dernière phrase... )








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