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Correction/Globalization

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/Globalization
Message de kyster posté le 13-11-2016 à 18:05:43 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je dois rendre ce travail à l'oral comme PPC en anglais, c'est sur la notion d’espace et échange; j'aimerai que vous me corrigiez 'il vous plait.(j'ai fait le maximum de mon côté, j'espère qu'il ne reste pas/plus de fautes).
Merci beaucoup pour vos réponses!

Today, the globalization rules the world. Globalization show a world where each country have impact on it. Here, we’ll speaking about the notion of space and exchanges. This notion deals with a world which built by diversity of thinking, of culture and by relation between society and men. We’ll focus on America society because for me, it the best illustration of this notion. On way wonder if the American dream is still alive.

To begin with, we can speak about the picture sent and received of America. We usually see this country like the perfect country. But why America seams to be better than other countries? Because America look after his picture. For example, TV shows are the best means which show the american dream. American dream is a dream than have youngs and immigrants, they think that in United-states all is possible. Much of immigrants come in United States to live the american dream. So, we can talk about a new face of America. There is an article in Time Magazine which deals with the new aspect of America. His front cover exhibit a woman whose face was created by many other faces american. The new representation of America is the woman face who embody the combination of all origins and races. So, the new picture of America is multicultural country.

To continue, we can deal with the American Dream. We know that many people immigrate to United-States. The American Dream is-it attainable for all people regardless of their origins ? We have many testimony of peoples who lived their american dream. We have, Jerry Yang, taiwanese, who came in America in the 1970’s. He got successful by made his company : Yahoo. We have also Farah Naficy. She went to United States in the 1960’s with his family. But, she decided to back in his homeland because she felt immigrants. The political crises in Iran made she leave a second time his country. Today, she doesn’t feel totally at home but she happy. For the end, we’ll speak about Jose Antonio Vargas. He was an undocumented immigrant and today he’s journalist. However, decided to write article which explained his life and his issue. With his article his triggered reform led by Obama which will allow for undocumented people to become legal immigrant. But actually, this dream act is still under reflection while Vargas received his green card thanks to his status. So, everybody can’t lives his american dream because of strict condition to become american.

To conclude, we have an American Dream showed as accessible by all. Lot of means used by the America allow to show an open America for all but in reality many people are deceived by seeing the truth. In fact, the american dream seams to be accessible by elite. And even, today, the president of united states want to narrow the entrance of his country. We’ll see for sure an american dream hardly accesible in some mounth.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 13-11-2016 18:16


Réponse : Correction/Globalization de laure95, postée le 15-11-2016 à 15:42:52 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- Today, the (enlever THE)globalization rules the world.
- Globalization show (faute de conjugaison) a world where each country have (faute de conjugaison + article)impact on it.
- This notion deals with a world which (enlever which) built by diversity of thinking
- We’ll focus on (article) America (mettre l'adjectif) society because for me, it (verbe?)the best illustration of this notion.
-On way Wonder: ?

- received of (pas la bonne préposition)America.
- But why America seams to be better than other countries?: question directe ou indirecte?
- Because America look (faute de conjugaison) after his picture (pas le bon mot ici).
- (the) American dream is a dream than (pas le bon mot)have youngs and immigrants (changer l'ordre des mots),
- (the) United-states all (everything)is possible.
- Much of immigrants: much + singulier
- His (pas le bon possessif)front cover exhibit (faute de conjugaison)
- by many other faces american: pas le bon ordre des mots.
- the woman (marque de l'appartenance)face who embody (faute de conjugaison)the combination
- (article) multicultural country.

- to (article)United-States.
- The American Dream is-it attainable for all people regardless of their origins ?: question mal construite.
- We have many testimony: many + pluriel.
- of peoples (people est déjà un mot pluriel)who lived their american (majuscule) dream.
- Jerry Yang, (a)taiwanese (majuscule + ajouter man),
- by made: BY + VERBE + -ING.
-to United States
- with his (pas le bon possessif) family.
- in his homeland
- because she felt immigrants: ?
- The political crises in Iran made she (mettre le pronom complément)leave a second time his (pas le bon possessif) country.
- but she (verbe?)happy.
-For the end: finally.
-he’s (a) journalist.
- However, (sujet ?)decided to write (an)article which explained (présent) his life and his issue.
- With his article his triggered reform led by Obama which (enlever whici)will allow
- legal immigrant (mettre au pluriel).
- So, everybody can’t lives: CAN'T + VERBE NON CONJUGUE.
-american
- because of (article)strict condition (mettre au pluriel)to become american (majuscule).

- (a)Lot of means used by the (enlever the) America
- many people are deceived by (by n'est pas obligatoire)seeing the truth.
-american
- accessible by (article) elite.
- the president of (article) united states (majuscule)want (faute de conjugaison)
- american
- in some mounth: ?




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