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Vérification/texte

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Vérification/texte
Message de thomasermel posté le 30-10-2016 à 19:47:50 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
J'ai fait un petit texte pour mémoriser du vocabulaire, pouvez-vous me dire les erreurs de grammaire que j'ai faites s'il vous plait ?
Merci pour vos réponses.

In the suburb of Paris, in the countryside, there is a backward hamlet which is Domont. In this city there are bustling, vibrant people and some hectic skeleton who are fighting for the public amenities and beautiful landscapes. The neighbourhood is composed of city-dwellers, and country-dwellers who inhabited a deserted city and decided to settle down in outskirts downtown Paris in a gated community. To avoid traffic jam, this city developed cycling lane, pedestrian precinct and many new means of transport. Before that, a man, a commuter, commute every day in a relentless traffic to live not in an affluent accommodation but in a grimy council home who seem in dereliction. It was in a red light area near many warehouse. The craziest dream of this tenant was to maintain a household or to renovate and upgrade an old farm. But his worst nightmare became true, the mortgage load become too high, the real estate explodes and he can’t found a single condominium in a block of flat. With the housing storage he becomes homeless.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 30-10-2016 21:11


Réponse : Vérification/texte de here4u, postée le 31-10-2016 à 10:17:05 (S | E)
hello !
Les juxtapositions de "suburbs of Paris", "countryside", "hamlet"= a little village = "city"? sont terriblement surprenantes et inexactes pour quiconque connaît la région!
In the suburbS of Paris, in the countryside?? , there is a backward hamlet which is Domont. In this city there are bustling, vibrant people and some hectic skeleton who are fighting for the public amenities and beautiful landscapes (how can they be fighting for landscapes?). The neighbourhood is composed of city-dwellers, and country-dwellers who inhabited a deserted city and decided to settle down in outskirts downtown Paris in a gated community. To avoid traffic jamS, this city developed cycling lane, pedestrian precinct and many new means of transport. Before that, a man,(Généraliser en mettant tout au pluriel!et attention au temps!) a commuter, commute every day in a relentless traffic in order to live, not in an affluent accommodation but in a grimy council home who seem in dereliction. It was in a red light area near many warehouse. The craziest dream of this tenant was to maintain a household or to renovate and upgrade an old farm. But his worst nightmare became true, the mortgage load become too high, the real estate explodes and he can’t found a single condominium in a block of flat. With the housing storage he becomes homeless.

I'm not sure I understood what you meant. En écrivant au passé, employez les temps du passé qui s'imposent ! Courage !




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