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Bac/Spaces and exchanges

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Bac/Spaces and exchanges
Message de mia4 posté le 20-04-2016 à 14:07:36 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je suis en Terminale S et je viens de finir ma notion sur "Spaces and exchanges". Cependant je ne suis vraiment pas douée en anglais. Pourriez-vous, s'il vous plaît, m'aider en disant les défauts de mon texte ? Merci par avance de votre aide.
Bonne journée.

I am going to talk about the notion of Spaces and exchanges. To illustrate this notion, I would like speak about Gap year. We can ask ourselves one question : Why a Gap year is a kind of exchanges? To answer at this question, I have chosen 2 documents : a recording from Radio Boston and a page of a website. Before explaining those documents, I would like to give a definition of a Gap year. A Gap year is a year off, usually between leaving school and starting university, however young people may also take a gap year after completing their studies at university. This year is spent travelling, working, volunteering, creating projects.

The first document, I would like to sum up, is a recoding about taking a gap year. Two radio presenters, a man and a woman from radio Boston, explain why taking a gap year is a good idee. The woman informs American students that college advisors and carreer counsellers advise them to defer their university entrance so as to live abroad, work, pursue a passion.
Having a Gap year is getting more and more popular in the USA because when they come back, students are more mature, they had a more sensible and responsible approach to their education than those who don't. Indeed taking a Gap year is a exciting, fulfilling, enriching experience because you can experience life in a different culture, find out what you can accomplish without your parents telling you what to do, you must fend for yourself, and it gives you a work experience sometime essential for a particular university course and moreover you can practise a foreign language and improve it. Aftewards, the way we look at life can change. Futhermore, sometime having a Gap year is a need because we want escape from a stressful life, from stress accumulated from competition over grades, just run away or because we don't know what really interests us.

The second document is a page of information about gap year. the first part of the document is about what a gap year is, how much money it costs, how long it lasts. It explains that actually, teachers approve of deferring university entrance. The seconde part of the document was created to inform British students about available placements duing their Gap year. They can work in business in India, in the best hotels in Canada or teach English in Nepal and in Chile.
To my mind those documents best illustrate the notion of space and exchanges because they embody the idee of a Gap year. They make us realize that doing a Gap year is like a travel. You can go in a foreign country and learn about the world or the other cultures and although you stay in your country you learn about yoursel and it may change your life and your relationships with nature. But it needs some preparation.

I would like to raise an objection. I disagree with the idea that everyone can do a Gap year. The first document explains that we come back more mature but I think we must be mature enough at the beginning because it means be alone or with friends but without parents and it can be dangerous if we don't follow the laws of the country you are travelling to. But I think doing a Gap year is an excellent way to learn about active life, job and how a society is organized.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-04-2016 15:57


Réponse: Bac/Spaces and exchanges de laure95, postée le 21-04-2016 à 11:51:16 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- I would like (il manque une préposition)speak about Gap year.
- We can ask ourselves one question: chercher le verbe: se demander.
- : Why a Gap year is a kind of exchanges?: enlever le point d'interrogation car c'est une question indirecte.
-To answer at (enlever AT)this question,

- idee: mot français.
- they had a more sensible and responsible approach: pas le bon temps.
- Indeed taking a Gap year is a (A+ MOT COMMENCANT PAR UNE CONSONNE)exciting, fulfilling, enriching experience
- sometime: orthographe.
- Aftewards, the way we look at life: mal dit.
- we want (préposition)escape from a stressful life,

- The seconde: orthographe.
- the idee
- You can go in a foreign country: pas la bonne préposition.
- c'est ta conclusion?: I would like to raise an objection. I disagree with the idea that everyone can do a Gap year. The first document explains that we come back more mature but I think we must be mature enough at the beginning because it means (préposition) be alone or with friends but without parents and it can be dangerous if we don't follow the laws of the country you are travelling to. But I think doing a Gap year is an excellent way to learn about active life, job and how a society is organized.




Réponse: Bac/Spaces and exchanges de mia4, postée le 21-04-2016 à 13:05:30 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Je tiens d'abord à vous remercier pour votre aide.
Et oui, ceci est bien ma conclusion. Mais peut être, devrais-je la retravailler ?



Réponse: Bac/Spaces and exchanges de laure95, postée le 21-04-2016 à 14:49:41 (S | E)
Non, mais on peut se demander si c'est ta conclusion car tu n'utilises pas de mot de liaison, style "to conclude, to sum up".



Réponse: Bac/Spaces and exchanges de mia4, postée le 21-04-2016 à 15:51:29 (S | E)
D'accord, en effet, il est vrai que ce n'est pas explicité. Merci beaucoup.



Réponse: Bac/Spaces and exchanges de mia4, postée le 22-04-2016 à 11:02:38 (S | E)
Bonjour,
J'ai fini de corriger mon texte. J'espère ne rien avoir oublié. Merci.
Bonne journée.

I am going to talk about the notion of Spaces and exchanges. To illustrate this notion, I would like to speak about Gap year. We can wonder one question : Why a Gap year is a kind of exchanges. To answer this question, I have chosen 2 documents : a recording from Radio Boston and a page of a website. Before explaining those documents, I would like to give a definition of a Gap year. A Gap year is a year off, usually between leaving school and starting university, however young people may also take a gap year after completing their studies at university. This year is spent travelling, working, volunteering, creating projects.

The first document, I would like to sum up, is a recoding about taking a gap year. Two radio presenters, a man and a woman from radio Boston, explain why taking a gap year is a good idea. The woman informs American students that college advisors and carreer counsellers advise them to defer their university entrance so as to live abroad, work, pursue a passion.
Having a Gap year is getting more and more popular in the USA because when they come back, students are more mature, they have a more sensible and responsible approach to their education than those who don't. Indeed taking a Gap year is an exciting, fulfilling, enriching experience because you can experience life in a different culture, find out what you can accomplish without your parents telling you what to do, you must fend for yourself, and it gives you a work experience sometimes essential for a particular university course and moreover you can practise a foreign language and improve it. It can change the way you look at life. Futhermore, sometimes having a Gap year is a need because we want to escape from a stressful life, from stress accumulated from competition over grades, just run away or because we don't know what really interest us.

The second document is a page of information about gap year. the first part of the document is about what a gap year is, how much money it costs, how long it lasts. It explains that actually, teachers approve of deferring university entrance. The second part of the document was created to inform British students about available placements during their Gap year. They can work in business in India, in the best hotels in Canada or teach English in Nepal and in Chile.
To my mind those documents best illustrate the notion of space and exchanges because they embody the idea of a Gap year. They make us realize that doing a Gap year is like a travel. You can go to a foreign country and learn about the world or the other cultures and although you stay in your country you learn about yoursel and it may change your life and your relationships with nature. But it needs some preparation.

To conclude, I would like to raise an objection. I disagree with the idea that everyone can do a Gap year. The first document explains that we come back more mature but I think we must be mature enough at the beginning because it means to be alone or with friends but without parents and it can be dangerous if we don't follow the laws of the country you are travelling to. But I think doing a Gap year is an excellent way to learn about active life, job and how a society is organized.




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