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Correction/Procès

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/Procès
Message de mirthylle posté le 05-04-2016 à 11:56:39 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai une présentation orale d'anglais sur un procès, pouvez-vous corriger mon texte (le plus vite possible si possible) s'il vous plait ? Merci beaucoup d'avance

Intro : Today, I am going to talk about an unusual trial which was held in England. Thanks to this atypical trial, I am going to answer the following problem: Can wage discrimination concern the men ?
To illustrate this I propose you a power point. My presentation is divided into two main section. Firstly I am going to expose you the facts which led to the opening of this trial. Then I am going to examine the final statements who was delivered by the judges and in what it can be considered historic.
I’d be grateful if you could ask your questions after the presentation.
So I’m going to present the first part of my subject to you.

I/ The facts: eighteen men file claims against their employer for wage discrimination.
A unexpected trial was held in England (wednesday twenty-three april two thousand fourteen). Eighteen men take to court their employer, an university. They estimated that they were less paid than their female colleagues
In England, a labor court sliced at the very unusual case. Indeed, the cases of gender discrimination concern mainly the women but in this case the complainants were a group of eighteen men (who were guards, plumbers, carpenters and agents of maintenance). They take to court their employer, the University Trinity St David de Wales for sexual discrimination. They estimated to be less paid than their female colleagues (who were secretaries or employees). However they were on the same level as them in the scale of remuneration. Nevertheless, the University explained wage gap by the evolution of the employment contract of the men. At the origin, these men were employed by an other university. When this one was united with the the university of Wales last August, their new employer wanted to harmonize the employment contract. Thus, the employment contracts of the men, initially fixed at forty-five hours per week fell at thirty-seven hours weekly. In the wake of this change, men would have realized that their hourly rate was lower that one of women.
That’s all I have to say about this. Now I’d like to examine the final statements who was delivered by the judges and in what it can be considered historic.

II/ The final statements of an historic trial.
Finally, the court agreed with the complainants. Wednesday, at the end of the trial, the University would not dispute the claims of the employees. It conceded that the claims for equal wages were founded.
According to the British newspaper The Guardian, the employees would have obtained five hundred and thousand pounds for compensation when their lawyer had asked for seven hundred and fifty thousand pounds for pain.
Moreover, the university underlined the « historical » character of this trial. Indeed, the complainants formed the most important group of men in England who have taken court for sexual discrimination.

Conclusion : To conclude, this trial could encourage the other men in the same situation to take action. Furthermore, according to the BBC, another group of seven men would be ready to take action if the eighteen men obtain compensations. These eighteen men being considered as victims of sexual discrimination, the university could have to pay them seven hundred and fifty thousand pounds.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 05-04-2016 12:39



Réponse: Correction/Procès de gerondif, postée le 05-04-2016 à 12:29:50 (S | E)
Bonjour
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert

Intro : Today, I am going to talk about an unusual trial which was held in England. Thanks to this atypical trial, I am going to answer the following problem: Can wage discrimination concern the men ?
To illustrate this I propose you(to you en fin de phrase) a power point. My presentation is divided into two main section(pluriel, il y en a 2). Firstly I am going to expose to you the facts which led to the opening of this trial. Then I am going to examine the final statements who was(who ne va pas derrière un mot non vivant et was devrait être au pluriel) delivered by the judges and in what it can be considered historic.
I’d be grateful if you could ask your questions after the presentation.
So I’m going to present the first part of my subject to you.

I/ The facts: eighteen men file claims against their employer for wage discrimination.
An unexpected trial was held in England (wednesday twenty-three april two thousand fourteen)(On Wednesday, the twenty-third of April,two thousand and fourteen, version classique). Eighteen men take(prétérit) to court their employer, an university. They estimated that they were less paid than their female colleagues.
In England, a labor court sliced at (sens ?? to slice, c'est trancher avec un couteau)the very unusual case. Indeed, the cases of gender discrimination concern mainly the women but in this case the complainants were a group of eighteen men (who were guards, plumbers, carpenters and agents of maintenance). They take(prétérit) to court their employer(inversez), the University Trinity St David de Wales for sexual discrimination (vous vous répétez). They estimated to be less paid than their female colleagues (who were secretaries or employees). However they were on the same level as them in the scale of remuneration. Nevertheless, the University explained this wage gap by(because of )(ou alors attributed this wage gap to) the evolution of the employment contract of the men. At the origin, these men were employed by another university. When this one was united with the university of Wales last August, their new employer wanted to harmonize the employment contract. Thus, the employment contracts of the men, initially fixed at forty-five hours per week fell at(to) thirty-seven hours weekly. In the wake of this change, men would (erreur d'auxiliaire, ils devraient avoir réalisé, ils auraient dû se rendrec ompte que) have realized that their hourly rate was lower that one of the women.(than the women's)
That’s all I have to say about this. Now I’d like to examine the final statements who was delivered by the judges and in what it can be considered historic.

II/ The final statements of an historic trial.
Finally, the court agreed with the complainants. On Wednesday, at the end of the trial, the University would not dispute the claims of the employees. It conceded that the claims for equal wages were founded.
According to the British newspaper The Guardian, the employees would have obtained (are said to have obtained passera mieux) five hundred and thousand pounds (500,000?) for compensation when (whereas iraitbien aussi) their lawyer had asked for seven hundred and fifty thousand pounds for pain (la douleur??).
Moreover, the university underlined the « historical » character of this trial. Indeed, the complainants formed the most important group of men in England who have taken court for sexual discrimination.

Conclusion : To conclude, this trial could encourage the other men in the same situation to take action. Furthermore, according to the BBC, another group of seven men would be ready(is said to be ready) to take action if the eighteen men obtain compensations. These eighteen men being considered as victims of sexual discrimination, the university could have to pay them seven hundred and fifty thousand pounds.




Réponse: Correction/Procès de mirthylle, postée le 05-04-2016 à 13:39:02 (S | E)
Merci infiniment !!!!!



Réponse: Correction/Procès de gerondif, postée le 05-04-2016 à 14:20:31 (S | E)
Bonjour, (ah mais le message auquel je réponds a déja disparu....)
on trouve sans problème des tas d'exemples comme:
When you hold a trial, you hold it under the laws of the country where it happened, hence the need to bring him back here

Donc pourquoi changer hold ?
On pourrait dire : a trial took place mais hold passe.





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