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Oral d'anglais/aide

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Oral d'anglais/aide
Message de julien8334 posté le 16-12-2015 à 16:26:44 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai demain un oral d'anglais, et je passais ici juste pour demander si quelqu'un pourrait me dire s'il y a des trucs choses à changer ou à corriger. Je ne suis pas très fort en anglais donc toute aide est la bienvenue
Merci d'avance bonne fin d'après midi.

Introduction
In the notion “myths and heroes” we have studied “In the limelight”. A myth is a traditional story that may or not be true. They can concern a natural or social phenomenon and typically involving supernatural beings or events. A hero is a person who is admired for his courage or noble qualities. It can be the main character in a book or a movie and it might be a person with superhuman qualities. “In the limelight” is an expression means to be the object of public attention. My first document is a photography of Marilyn Monroe, the second is the document with Jennifer Garner, the third is the document with Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the fourth is the photography of a hidden telescopic lens. We saw that the paparazzi hound the stars, and that their techniques to get the best shot are often dangerous. To what content are the paparazzi considered a problem? To address this issue, I will first talk about privacy and them consequences.

I. Privacy
Let’s start with the difference ways that the paparazzi use to intrude into stars private life. They want the best photography, the one which will make more money, in order to do that they have a more and more sophisticated equipment. So they can hide spy on stars or take their new telescopic lenses which permit having light quality picture even if they are quite far. But even stalk them without being discrete anymore. Which leads a kind of unbearable harassment for the stars. For instance Jennifer Garner claimed for the right to their privacy for their children. These invasions of privacy are due to tabloids which are ready to pay more and more moneys for these photographies to illustrate their gossip. Indeed this kind of magazines has more and more success for the audience. This is the reason why paparazzi harass the stars and come to them inconsiderately and disrespectfully. They even chase them in not a very speed by cars. Even in overcrowded places like towns of L.A or Paris.

II. Consequences
Unfortunately this chasing car turn very dangerously and cost lives. Like for example Lady Diana, who died in car chasing in Paris in nineteen ninety seven or in Marilyn Monroe’s suicide in nineteen sixty two because of the pressure of the paparazzi on her. To protect their privacy several stars decided to meet and create an ant paparazzi law, thus the California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger signed an amendment in two thousand nine that permit law write against media if they use illegal material or take pictures offensively. Then in two thousand thirteen, the stars who were fed up with paparazzi had a law signed to me a paparazzo for damages have an incidence of harassment.

Conclusion
The paparazzi follow celebrities everywhere they harass them and their entourage all days long following numerous complaint of death and dangerous car chases a law was created to prevent the problem of the paparazzi. The quest for the perfect picture has become more difficult.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 16-12-2015 19:18


Réponse: Oral d'anglais/aide de gerondif, postée le 16-12-2015 à 17:29:02 (S | E)
Bonjour,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert;
Introduction
In the notion “myths and heroes” we have studied “In the limelight”. A myth is a traditional story that may or may not be true. They(story est singulier) can concern a natural or social phenomenon and typically involving supernatural beings or events. A hero is a person who is admired for his courage or noble qualities. It can be the main character in a book or a movie and it might be a person with superhuman qualities. “In the limelight” is an expression which means to be the object of public attention. My first document is a photography of Marilyn Monroe, the second is the(un document, pas le document, l'examinateur n'en a jamais entendu parler) document with Jennifer Garner, the third is the document with Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the fourth is the photography of a hidden telescopic lens. We saw that the paparazzi hound the stars, and that their techniques to get the best shot are often dangerous. To what content (extent) are the paparazzi considered a problem? To address this issue, I will first talk about privacy and them(vous vouliez dire leurs conséquences ou ensuite les conséquences ?) consequences.

I. Privacy
Let’s start with the difference ways that the paparazzi use to intrude into stars private life. They want the best photography, the one which will make more money.(point) In order to do that, they have a more and more sophisticated equipment. So they can hide and spy on stars or take their new telescopic lenses which permit(trop français, utilisez allow + complément + infinitif)) having light quality picture(trop compact, dites une image avec une très bonne qualité de lumière) even if they are quite far. But even (infinitif complet si vous utilisez allow dans la phrase d'avant)stalk them without being discrete anymore. Which leads to a kind of unbearable harassment for the stars. For instance Jennifer Garner claimed for the right to their privacy for their(le possesseur est singulier) children. These invasions of privacy are due to tabloids which are ready to pay more and more moneys for these photographies to illustrate their gossip. Indeed this kind of magazines has more and more success for(avec) the audience. This is the reason why paparazzi harass the stars and come to them inconsiderately and disrespectfully. They even chase them in not a very speed (ne veut rien dire: dans pas une grande vitesse) by cars. Even in overcrowded places like towns of L.A or Paris.(maladroit: dites directements dans des villes surpeuplées comme L.A. ou Paris)

II. Consequences
Unfortunately this chasing car turn very dangerously(la poursuite se révèle dangereuse, pas dangereusement) and cost lives. Like for example Lady Diana, who died in a car chasing in Paris in nineteen ninety-seven or in Marilyn Monroe’s suicide in nineteen sixty-two because of the pressure of the paparazzi on her (pas sûr que ce soit la seule cause). To protect their privacy several stars decided to meet and create an anti paparazzi law, thus the California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger signed an amendment in two thousand nine ("correct" en américain, sinon, c'est in two thousand and nine)that permit(le s du présent simple) law write(ne veut rien dire et écrit à l'envers: l'amendement ne permet pas d'écrire une loi contre mais de recourir à la loi) against media if they use illegal material or take pictures offensively. Then in two thousand and thirteen, the stars who were fed up with paparazzi had a law signed to me a paparazzo for damages have an incidence of harassment.(ne veut rien dire , le me est une erreur)

Conclusion
The paparazzi follow celebrities everywhere.(point) they harass them and their entourage all days long.(point) following numerous complaint(pluriel) of death (des menaces de mort ça se comprendrait mais des plaintes de mort???) and dangerous car chases,(virgule!) a law was created to prevent the problem of the paparazzi. The quest for the perfect picture has become more difficult.




Réponse: Oral d'anglais/aide de julien8334, postée le 16-12-2015 à 17:48:29 (S | E)
J'ai corrigé au mieux ce que vous avez remarqué.

Introduction
In the notion “myths and heroes” we have studied “In the limelight”. A myth is a traditional story that may or may not be true. This can concern a natural or social phenomenon and typically involving supernatural beings or events. A hero is a person who is admired for his courage or noble qualities. It can be the main character in a book or a movie and it might be a person with superhuman qualities. “In the limelight” is an expression which means to be the object of public attention. My first document is a photography of Marilyn Monroe, the second is a document with Jennifer Garner, the third is a document with Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the fourth is a photography of a hidden telescopic lens. We saw that the paparazzi hound the stars, and that their techniques to get the best shot are often dangerous. To what extent are the paparazzi considered a problem? To address this issue, I will first talk about privacy and them consequences.

I. Privacy
Let’s start with the difference ways that the paparazzi use to intrude into stars private life. They want the best photography, the one which will make more money, in order to do that they have a more and more sophisticated equipment. So they can hide and spy on stars or take their new telescopic lenses which allow have a picture with a good light quality even if they are quite far. But even stalk them without being discrete anymore. Which leads to a kind of unbearable harassment for the stars. For instance Jennifer Garner claimed for the right to their privacy for her children. These invasions of privacy are due to tabloids which are ready to pay more and more money for these photographies to illustrate their gossip. Indeed this kind of magazine has more and more success with the audience. This is the reason why paparazzi harass the stars and come to them inconsiderately and disrespectfully. They even chase them in at a very speed by cars. Even in overcrowded towns like L.A or Paris.

II. Consequences
Unfortunately this chasing car turn very dangerous and cost lives. Like for example Lady Diana, who died in car chasing in Paris in nineteen ninety seven or in Marilyn Monroe’s suicide in nineteen sixty two because of the pressure of the paparazzi on her. To protect their privacy several stars decided to meet and create an anti-paparazzi law, thus the California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger signed an amendment in two thousand and nine that permits to write law against media if they use illegal material or take pictures offensively. Then in two thousand and thirteen, the stars who were fed up with paparazzi had a law signed to can pursuit paparazzi in justice.

Conclusion
The paparazzi follow celebrities everywhere they harass them and their entourage all day long following numerous complain of death and dangerous car chases a law was created to prevent the problem of the paparazzi. The quest for the perfect picture has become more difficult.





Réponse: Oral d'anglais/aide de gerondif, postée le 16-12-2015 à 17:57:00 (S | E)
Hello again,
Introduction
In the notion “myths and heroes” we have studied “In the limelight”. A myth is a traditional story that may or may not be true. This can concern a natural or social phenomenon and typically involving supernatural beings or events. A hero is a person who is admired for his courage or noble qualities. It can be the main character in a book or a movie and it might be a person with superhuman qualities. “In the limelight” is an expression which means to be the object of public attention. My first document is a photography of Marilyn Monroe, the second is a document with Jennifer Garner, the third is a document with Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the fourth is a photography of a hidden telescopic lens. We saw that the paparazzi hound the stars, and that their techniques to get the best shot are often dangerous. To what extent are the paparazzi considered a problem? To address this issue, I will first talk about privacy and them(them, eux, ne veut rien dire!) consequences.

I. Privacy
Let’s start with the difference ways that the paparazzi use to intrude into stars private life. They want the best photography(photography, c'est la science, photograph, c'est l'objet), the one which will make more money, in order to do that they have a more and more sophisticated equipment. So they can hide and spy on stars or take their new telescopic lenses which allow have a picture with a good light quality even if they are quite far. But even stalk them without being discrete anymore. Which leads to a kind of unbearable harassment for the stars. For instance Jennifer Garner claimed for the right to their privacy for her children. These invasions of privacy are due to tabloids which are ready to pay more and more money for these photographies to illustrate their gossip. Indeed this kind of magazine has more and more success with the audience. This (It va suffire)is the reason why paparazzi harass the stars and come to them inconsiderately and disrespectfully. They even chase them in at a very speed by(mal construit) cars. Even in overcrowded towns like L.A or Paris.

II. Consequences
Unfortunately this chasing car(pouvoir) turn very dangerous and cost lives. Like for example Lady Diana, who died in a car chasing in Paris in nineteen ninety(tiret)seven or in Marilyn Monroe’s suicide in nineteen sixty(tiret) two because of the pressure of the paparazzi on her. To protect their privacy several stars decided to meet and create an anti-paparazzi law, thus the governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger signed an amendment in two thousand and nine that permits to write a law (j'aurais plutôt dit: qui permet de poursuivre la presse) against media if they use illegal material or take pictures offensively. Then in two thousand and thirteen, the stars who were fed up with paparazzi had a law signed to can(n'a pas d'infinitif, prendre le remplaçant) pursuit paparazzi in justice.

Conclusion
The paparazzi follow celebrities everywhere.(POINT) they harass them and their entourage all day long.(POINT) following numerous complain(PLURIEL) of death(des menaces de mort ça se comprendrait mais des plaintes de mort???) and dangerous car chases,(VIRGULE, donc pause dans la voix) a law was created to prevent the problem of the paparazzi. The quest for the perfect picture has become more difficult.



Réponse: Oral d'anglais/aide de julien8334, postée le 16-12-2015 à 18:07:27 (S | E)
Introduction
In the notion “myths and heroes” we have studied “In the limelight”. A myth is a traditional story that may or may not be true. It can concern a natural or social phenomenon and typically involving supernatural beings or events. A hero is a person who is admired for his courage or noble qualities. It can be the main character in a book or a movie and it might be a person with superhuman qualities. “In the limelight” is an expression which means to be the object of public attention. My first document is a photograph of Marilyn Monroe, the second is a document with Jennifer Garner, the third is a document with Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the fourth is a photograph of a hidden telescopic lens. We saw that the paparazzi hound the stars, and that their techniques to get the best shot are often dangerous. To what extent are the paparazzi considered a problem? To address this issue, I will first talk about privacy and their consequences.

I. Privacy
Let’s start with the difference ways that the paparazzi use to intrude into stars private life. They want the best photograph, the one which will make more money, in order to do that they have a more and more sophisticated equipment. So they can hide and spy on stars or take their new telescopic lenses which allow have a picture with a good light quality even if they are quite far. But even stalk them without being discrete anymore. Which leads to a kind of unbearable harassment for the stars. For instance Jennifer Garner claimed for the right to her privacy for her children. These invasions of privacy are due to tabloids which are ready to pay more and more money for these photograph to illustrate their gossip. Indeed this kind of magazine has more and more success with the audience. It is the reason why paparazzi harass the stars and come to them inconsiderately and disrespectfully. They even chase them in at a great speed by cars. Even in overcrowded towns like L.A or Paris.

II. Consequences
Unfortunately this chasing car turn very dangerous and cost lives. Like for example Lady Diana, who died in a car chasing in Paris in nineteen ninety-seven or in Marilyn Monroe’s suicide in nineteen sixty-two because of the pressure of the paparazzi on her. To protect their privacy several stars decided to meet and create an anti-paparazzi law, thus the governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger signed an amendment in two thousand and nine that permits to pursuit media if they use illegal material or take pictures offensively. Then in two thousand and thirteen, the stars who were fed up with paparazzi had a law signed to take pursuit paparazzi in justice.

Conclusion
The paparazzi follow celebrities everywhere. They harass them and their entourage all day long. Following numerous threat of death and dangerous car chases, a law was created to prevent the problem of the paparazzi. The quest for the perfect picture has become more difficult.



Réponse: Oral d'anglais/aide de julien8334, postée le 16-12-2015 à 18:09:57 (S | E)
J'ai essayé de trouver des solutions...



Réponse: Oral d'anglais/aide de gerondif, postée le 16-12-2015 à 18:14:51 (S | E)
Hello, again

Introduction
In the notion “myths and heroes” we have studied “In the limelight”. A myth is a traditional story that may or may not be true. It can concern a natural or social phenomenon and( si vous laissez and, mettez un présent simple, sinon involving sans le and se rapportera à phenomenon) typically involving supernatural beings or events. A hero is a person who is admired for his courage or noble qualities. It can be the main character in a book or a movie and it might be a person with superhuman qualities. “In the limelight” is an expression which means to be the object of public attention. My first document is a photograph of Marilyn Monroe, the second is a document with Jennifer Garner, the third is a document with Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the fourth is a photograph of a hidden telescopic lens. We saw that the paparazzi hound the stars, and that their techniques to get the best shot are often dangerous. To what extent are the paparazzi considered a problem? To address this issue, I will first talk about privacy and their consequences.

I. Privacy
Let’s start with the difference ways that the paparazzi use to intrude into stars' private life. They want the best photograph, the one which will make the most money, in order to do that, they have a more and more sophisticated equipment. So they can hide and spy on stars or take their new telescopic lenses which allow them to have a picture with a good light quality even if they are quite far. But(n'est pas logique, il faut mettre and, and even et l'infinitif complet) even stalk them without being discrete anymore. Which leads to a kind of unbearable harassment for the stars. For instance Jennifer Garner claimed for the right to her privacy for her children. These invasions of privacy are due to tabloids which are ready to pay more and more money for these photograph to illustrate their gossip. Indeed this kind of magazine has more and more success with the audience. It is the reason why paparazzi harass the stars and come to(plutôt approach) them inconsiderately and disrespectfully. They even chase them in at a great speed by in cars,(virgule) even in overcrowded towns like L.A or Paris.

II. Consequences
Unfortunately this car-chasing car(auxiliaire pouvoir: peut se révéler, peut coûter....) turn very dangerous and cost lives. Like for example Lady Diana, who died in a car chasing in Paris in nineteen ninety-seven or in Marilyn Monroe’s suicide in nineteen sixty-two because of the pressure of the paparazzi on her. To protect their privacy,(virgule) several stars decided to meet and create an anti-paparazzi law, thus the governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger signed an amendment in two thousand and nine that(which) permits to pursuit media if they use illegal material or take pictures offensively. Then in two thousand and thirteen, the stars who were fed up with paparazzi had a law signed to take pursuit sue paparazzi in justice.

Conclusion
The paparazzi follow celebrities everywhere. They harass them and their entourage all day long. Following numerous threat(pluriel) of death and dangerous car chases, a law was created to prevent the problem of the paparazzi. The quest for the perfect picture has become more difficult.



Réponse: Oral d'anglais/aide de julien8334, postée le 16-12-2015 à 18:22:09 (S | E)
Pensez vous que c'est bon maintenant ?
Introduction
In the notion “myths and heroes” we have studied “In the limelight”. A myth is a traditional story that may or may not be true. It can concern a natural or social phenomenon typically involving supernatural beings or events. A hero is a person who is admired for his courage or noble qualities. It can be the main character in a book or a movie and it might be a person with superhuman qualities. “In the limelight” is an expression which means to be the object of public attention. My first document is a photograph of Marilyn Monroe, the second is a document with Jennifer Garner, the third is a document with Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the fourth is a photograph of a hidden telescopic lens. We saw that the paparazzi hound the stars, and that their techniques to get the best shot are often dangerous. To what extent are the paparazzi considered a problem? To address this issue, I will first talk about privacy and their consequences.

I. Privacy
Let’s start with the difference ways that the paparazzi use to intrude into stars private life. They want the best photograph, the one which will make the most money, in order to do that they have a more and more sophisticated equipment. So they can hide and spy on stars or take their new telescopic lenses which allow them to have a picture with a good light quality even if they are quite far, and even stalk them without being discrete anymore. Which leads to a kind of unbearable harassment for the stars. For instance Jennifer Garner claimed for the right to her privacy for her children. These invasions of privacy are due to tabloids which are ready to pay more and more money for these photograph to illustrate their gossip. Indeed this kind of magazine has more and more success with the audience. It is the reason why paparazzi harass the stars and come to them inconsiderately and disrespectfully. They even chase them in at a great speed in cars, even in overcrowded towns like L.A or Paris.

II. Consequences
Unfortunately this car-chasing turn very dangerous and cost lives. Like for example Lady Diana, who died in a car chasing in Paris in nineteen ninety-seven or in Marilyn Monroe’s suicide in nineteen sixty-two because of the pressure of the paparazzi on her. To protect their privacy several stars decided to meet and create an anti-paparazzi law, thus the governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger signed an amendment in two thousand and nine which permits to pursuit media if they use illegal material or take pictures offensively. Then in two thousand and thirteen, the stars who were fed up with paparazzi had a law signed to sue paparazzi in justice.

Conclusion
The paparazzi follow celebrities everywhere. They harass them and their entourage all day long. Following numerous threats of death and dangerous car chases, a law was created to prevent the problem of the paparazzi. The quest for the perfect picture has become more difficult.





Réponse: Oral d'anglais/aide de gerondif, postée le 16-12-2015 à 18:38:10 (S | E)
Hello again,
Introduction
In the notion “myths and heroes” we have studied “In the limelight”. A myth is a traditional story that may or may not be true. It can concern a natural or social phenomenon typically involving supernatural beings or events. A hero is a person who is admired for his courage or noble qualities. It can be the main character in a book or a movie and it might be a person with superhuman qualities. “In the limelight” is an expression which means to be the object of public attention. My first document is a photograph of Marilyn Monroe, the second is a document with Jennifer Garner, the third is a document with Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the fourth is a photograph of a hidden telescopic lens. We saw that the paparazzi hound the stars, and that their techniques to get the best shot are often dangerous. To what extent are the paparazzi considered a problem? To address this issue, I will first talk about privacy and their consequences.

I. Privacy
Let’s start with the difference ways that the paparazzi use to intrude into stars private life. They want the best photograph, the one which will make the most money, in order to do that they have a more and more sophisticated equipment. So they can hide and spy on stars or take their new telescopic lenses which allows them to have a picture with a good light quality even if they are quite far, and even stalk them without being discrete anymore. Which leads to a kind of unbearable harassment for the stars. For instance Jennifer Garner claimed for the right to her privacy for her children. These invasions of privacy are due to tabloids which are ready to pay more and more money for these photograph to illustrate their gossip. Indeed this kind of magazine has more and more success with the audience. It is the reason why paparazzi harass the stars and come to them inconsiderately and disrespectfully. They even chase them in at a great speed in cars, even in overcrowded towns like L.A or Paris.

II. Consequences
Unfortunately this car-chasing ***(auxiliaire pouvoir ici)turn very dangerous and cost lives. Like for example Lady Diana, who died in a car chasing in Paris in nineteen ninety-seven or in Marilyn Monroe’s suicide in nineteen sixty-two because of the pressure of the paparazzi on her. To protect their privacy, several stars decided to meet and create an anti-paparazzi law, thus the governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger signed an amendment in two thousand and nine which permits to pursuit(est un nom, pas un verbe) media if they use illegal material or take pictures offensively. Then in two thousand and thirteen, the stars who were fed up with paparazzi had a law signed to sue paparazzi in justice.

Conclusion
The paparazzi follow celebrities everywhere. They harass them and their entourage all day long. Following numerous threats of death and dangerous car chases, a law was created to prevent the problem of the paparazzi. The quest for the perfect picture has become more difficult.


-------------------
Modifié par gerondif le 17-12-2015 11:57
je vais me dire merci tout seul pour que ça aille plus vite!




Réponse: Oral d'anglais/aide de hey22, postée le 21-12-2015 à 14:28:36 (S | E)
Bonjour tout le monde, je suis en terminal S et j'ai un oral d'anglais sur lieux et formes de pouvoir, j'ai ma problématique qui est : Dans quelles mesures peut-on dire que les médias poussent les gens à utiliser des armes ? mais le problème c'est que je n'ai pas de plan, si qqn pourrait m'aider comme me donner des pistes ce serait gentil, merci d'avance.



Réponse: Oral d'anglais/aide de bluestar, postée le 21-12-2015 à 15:02:47 (S | E)
Bonjour..

Let’s start with the difference(l'adjectif pas le nom) ways that the paparazzi use to intrude into stars private life. They want the best photograph, the one which will make the most money, in order to do that they have a more and more sophisticated equipment. So they can hide and spy on stars or take their new telescopic lenses which allows them to have a picture with a good light quality even if they are quite far, and even stalk them without being discrete(un faux ami) anymore




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