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Correction/Scotland

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/Scotland
Message de jadee55 posté le 26-05-2015 à 18:00:32 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
pourriez-vous m'aider à corriger ce texte svp s'il vous plait?
Merci beaucoup pour vos réponses.

A long time ago, in the darkest depths of Scotland, a young man resided in a small house. He taked care of his father who was still. One day, his father died and his son inherited of an old castle . Edward didn’t know that this castle exist. He decided to went there. The castle was imposing and very ancient. Roses climbed to the castle and The walls of fortified castles were very thick. In the door « devil » was write. Suddenly, he heard thunder and light ning. So He decided to take shelter into the manor. He unlocked the door and came to the living room. It was a large room with curtain of silk. The wall was ornamented to Portraits and mirrors. The room was very dark and the sun rised.
Therefore, Edward set down to the sofa. In front of him, there was a mirror. Edward was very tired and he fell asleep. In one go, sounds stopped. The young blond man sat to the sofa. Maybe it was a hallucination ? Outside, the wind blew, thunder rolled. Suddenly, a window was broken. Edward, weary , slept again. But, a strange voice woke him. It was strident and frightening. He was bewitched. He stood up and walked to the voice.He went up the stairs and caught a white outline. He was attracted to here. He asked : Who are you and why are you there ? abruptly , the woman screamed, she had red eyes. Edward had creeps and was shiver. He backed down stairs and ran. But, he fell .He crawled to the floor. The scared boy tested to open the door but she was close. Edward cried and didn’t moved any more. Abruptly, the doorwas opening and edward ran to the forest. The legend told that edward was lost and anybody found his body.Today, the manor is always haunted by the white lady. At your own risks !


Merci beaucoup de votre aide

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 26-05-2015 18:57



Réponse: Correction/Scotland de here4u, postée le 26-05-2015 à 19:49:34 (S | E)
Hello !

blue = wrong
underlined = very clumsy
green = suggestions
XXX = missing elements

A long time ago, in the darkest depths of Scotland, a young man resided in a small house. He takedARGHHHHH!!! care of his father who was still. One day, his father died and his son inherited of an old castle . Edward didn’t know that this castle exist. He decided to went there. The castle was imposing and very ancient. Roses climbed XX to the castle and The walls of fortified castles were very thick. In the door « devil » was write. Suddenly, he heard thunder and light ning.(can you hear lightning? ) So He decided to take shelter into the manor. He unlocked the door and came to the living room. It was a large room with curtain of silk. The wall was ornamented to Portraits and mirrors. The room was very dark and the sun rised.
Therefore, Edward set??? down to the sofa. In front of him, there was a mirror. Edward was very tired and he fell asleep. In one go, sounds stopped. The young blond man sat to the sofa. Maybe it was a hallucination ? Outside, the wind blew,(Hard luck ! When the verb is right, the tense is wrong!) thunder rolled. Suddenly, a window was broken. Edward, weary , slept again. But, a strange voice woke him XX. It was strident and frightening. He was bewitched. He stood up and walked to the voice.He went up the stairs and caught XXXX XX a white outline. He was attracted to here. He asked : Who are you and why are you there ? abruptly , the woman screamed, she had red eyes. Edward had creeps and was shiver. He backed down stairs and ran. But, he fell XXXXX .He crawled to the floor. The scared boy tested to open the door but she was close. Edward cried and didn’t moved any more. Abruptly, the door was opening and edward ran to the forest. The legend told that edward was lost and anybody found his body.Today, the manor is always haunted by the white lady. At your own risks !
Study your irregular verbs !!!!



Réponse: Correction/Scotland de notrepere, postée le 26-05-2015 à 19:57:13 (S | E)
Bonjour

A long time ago, in the darkest depths of Scotland, a young man resided in a small house. He taked care of his father who was still. One day, his father died and his son inherited of(inutile) an old castle . Edward didn’t know that this castle exist(temps de narration demandé). He decided to went there. The castle was imposing and very ancient. Roses climbed to(inutile) the castle and The walls of the fortified castles were very thick. In the door « devil » was write. Suddenly, he heard thunder and lightning. So He decided to take shelter into the manor. He unlocked the door and went to the living room. It was a large room with curtain(pluriel) of silk. The wall was ornamented to(autre préposition) Portraits and mirrors. The room was very dark and the sun rised(temps).

Therefore, Edward set down to(autre préposition) the sofa. In front of him, there was a mirror. Edward was very tired and he fell asleep. In one go, sounds stopped. The young blond man sat to(autre préposition) the sofa. Maybe it was a hallucination ? Outside, the wind blew, thunder rolled. Suddenly, a window was broken(temps). Edward, weary , slept again. But, a strange voice woke him. It was strident and frightening. He was bewitched. He stood up and walked to the voice. He went up the stairs and caught a glimpse of a white outline. He was attracted to here. He asked : Who are you and why are you here ? abruptly , the woman screamed, she had red eyes. Edward had creeps and was shiver. He backed down the stairs and ran. But, he fell .He crawled to(autre préposition) the floor. The scared boy tested to open the door but she was close. Edward cried and didn’t moved any more. Abruptly, the door was opening(temps) and edward ran to the forest. The legend told that edward was lost and anybody found his body. Today, the manor is always haunted by the white lady. Enter At your own risks !




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