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Oral/Places and forms of Power

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Oral/Places and forms of Power
Message de irisson1 posté le 01-05-2015 à 20:23:28 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
je passe mes oraux de langue dans une semaine et j'aimerais apprendre mes notions sans trop d'erreurs. Si quelqu'un voulait bien lire ce que j'ai fait et me dire mes principales fautes ce serait très gentil.
Merci d'avance !

The notion I’m going to talk about is the notion of power. It can be defined as the ability or official capacity to exercise control, authority. South Africa is a country which has experienced many changes on 6o years. It was a republic with apartheid and today SA is a democracy with equality between black and white people. So, how did black South Africans achieve recognition? First we will speak about the past oppression, then the recognition with the power sharing and at the end the situation in SA today.

Past oppression: In 1948, Apartheid in SA became official and legal racial segregation was established. The white domination had control on blacks; they banned mixed marriages, black freedom of circulation and removed the black right vote. The country was representing by social inequality, domination and submission. We saw the opening scene of “Invictus” were it shows the opposition between white and black teenagers during apartheid. The white are playing rugby on a green grass contrary to the black that are playing in wasteland.
Then, there are black movements created to resist to this domination. The end of the Apartheid dates from 1991.

Recognition with power sharing: is symbolized by the election of Nelson Mandela in 1994. It was the first black president in SA. He could be elected thanks to the new constitution giving blacks the right to vote. He promotes a message of peace and reconciliation. One scene on “Invictus” shows white and black teenagers playing together thanks to Nelson Mandela.
If SA became a democracy there are still inequalities.

The situation today: SA or the rainbow nation has a new prosperity. All of S Afrikaners have the same right but a gap between these two communities remains. Black doesn’t have the same living conditions, jobs and doesn’t live in the same places like white. The city of Soweto is an example of this gap.

In conclusion, SA evolved a lot and it is on the good way to be a good democracy. But there are still inequalities. It must improve educational system, access to better job and share economic prosperity at the blacks.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 01-05-2015 22:04


Réponse: Oral/Places and forms of Power de gerondif, postée le 01-05-2015 à 23:49:49 (S | E)
Hello,
the white, the black me paraîssent faux, j'utilserais soit the whites, the blacks ou de préférence white people, black people.
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
The notion I’m going to talk about is the notion of power. It can be defined as the ability or official capacity to exercise control, authority. South Africa is a country which has experienced many changes on(over) 6o years. It was a republic with apartheid and today SA is a democracy with equality between black and white people. So, how did black South Africans achieve recognition? First we will speak about the past oppression, then about the recognition with the power sharing and at the end finally about the situation in SA today.

Past oppression: In 1948, Apartheid in SA became official and legal racial segregation was established. The white domination had control on blacks; they banned mixed marriages, black freedom of circulation and removed the black right vote. The country was representing(participe passé) by social inequality, domination and submission. We saw the opening scene of “Invictus” were it shows the opposition between white and black teenagers during apartheid. The white are playing rugby on a green grass contrary to(non, utilisez whereas, alors que, tandis que) the black that are playing in wasteland.
Then, there are(j'aurais mis un prétérit) black movements created to resist to this domination. The end of the Apartheid dates from 1991.

Recognition with power sharing: is symbolized by the election of Nelson Mandela in 1994. It(sujet vivant humain masculin) was the first black president in SA. He could be elected thanks to the new constitution giving blacks the right to vote. He promotes a message of peace and reconciliation. One scene on “Invictus” shows white and black teenagers playing together thanks to Nelson Mandela.
If SA became a democracy there are still inequalities.

The situation today: SA or the rainbow nation has a new prosperity. All of S Afrikaners have the same right but a gap between these two communities remains. Black doesn’t have the same living conditions, jobs and doesn’t live in the same places like(comparatif d'égalité) white. The city of Soweto is an example of this gap.

In conclusion, SA evolved a lot and it is on the good way to be a good democracy. But there are still inequalities. It must improve its educational system, access to better job(pluriel) and share economic prosperity at the blacks.



Réponse: Oral/Places and forms of Power de irisson1, postée le 02-05-2015 à 00:23:04 (S | E)
Merci pour cette correction cela va beaucoup m'aider ! J'ai cependant encore une question, que dois je mettre a la place de from dans la phrase "the end of the apartheid dates from 1991 " ? La préposition "of" , "to" , "on" ou tout simplement rien du tout ?



Réponse: Oral/Places and forms of Power de gerondif, postée le 02-05-2015 à 00:32:52 (S | E)
Hello,
from signifie de, depuis,: I worked there from 1980 to 1990.
l'expression est to date back to
exemple:
Mr President, the fact is that it was only at the weekend that a note reached me; it dates back to last year and I am utterly astonished by it.
Quand je veux voir si "ça se dit" je le tape sous google et je vois ce qui s'affiche.



Réponse: Oral/Places and forms of Power de irisson1, postée le 02-05-2015 à 16:14:17 (S | E)
D'accord merci. Voila le texte corrigé après vos remarques :

The notion I’m going to talk about is the notion of power. It can be defined as the ability or official capacity to exercise control, authority. South Africa is a country which has experienced many changes over 6o years. It was a republic with apartheid and today SA is a democracy with equality between black and white people. So, how did black South Africans achieve recognition? First we will speak about the past oppression, then about the recognition with the power sharing and finally about the situation in SA today.

Past oppression: In 1948, Apartheid in SA became official and legal racial segregation was established. The white domination had control on blacks; they banned mixed marriages, black freedom of circulation and removed the black right vote. The country represented by social inequality, domination and submission. We saw the opening scene of “Invictus” were it shows the opposition between white and black teenagers during apartheid. The white people are playing rugby on a green grass whereas the black are playing in wasteland.
Then, there were black movements created to resist to this domination. The end of the Apartheid dates back to 1991.

Recognition with power sharing: is symbolized by the election of Nelson Mandela in 1994. He was the first black president in SA. He could be elected thanks to the new constitution giving blacks the right to vote. He promotes a message of peace and reconciliation. One scene on “Invictus” shows white and black teenagers playing together thanks to Nelson Mandela.
If SA became a democracy there are still inequalities.

The situation today: SA or the rainbow nation has a new prosperity. All of S Afrikaners have the same right but a gap between these two communities remains. Blacks don’t have the same living conditions, jobs and don’t live in the same places as white as. The city of Soweto is an example of this gap.

In conclusion, SA evolved a lot and it is on the good way to be a good democracy. But there are still inequalities. It must improve its educational system, access to better jobs and share economic prosperity to the blacks



Réponse: Oral/Places and forms of Power de gerondif, postée le 02-05-2015 à 16:23:07 (S | E)
Bonjour,
The notion I’m going to talk about is the notion of power. It can be defined as the ability or official capacity to exercise control, authority. South Africa is a country which has experienced many changes over 6o years. It was a republic with apartheid and today SA is a democracy with equality between black and white people. So, how did black South Africans achieve recognition? First we will speak about the past oppression, then about the recognition with the power sharing and finally about the situation in SA today.

Past oppression: In 1948, Apartheid in SA became official and legal racial segregation was established. The white domination had control on blacks; they banned mixed marriages, black freedom of circulation and removed the black right vote. The country was represented by social inequality, domination and submission. We saw the opening scene of “Invictus” were it(remplacez par le pronom relatif which) shows the opposition between white and black teenagers during apartheid. The white people are playing rugby on a green grass whereas the black are playing in wasteland.(j'aurais mis white people..... black people)
Then, there were black movements created to resist (verbe transitif) to this domination. The end of the Apartheid dates back to 1991.(took place in aurait été aussi)

Recognition with power sharing: is symbolized by the election of Nelson Mandela in 1994. He was the first black president in SA. He could be elected thanks to the new constitution giving blacks the right to vote. He promotes a message of peace and reconciliation. One scene on “Invictus” shows white and black teenagers playing together thanks to Nelson Mandela.
If SA became a democracy,(virgule et pause pour montrer l'opposition) there are still inequalities.

The situation today: SA or the rainbow nation has a new prosperity. All of S Afrikaners have the same rights but a gap between these two communities remains. Blacks (me gêne un peu,le mot claque trop sec et fait un peu raciste, j'aurais enveloppé cela dans the black community don’t have the same living conditions, jobs and don’t live in the same places as white(pluriel) as. The city of Soweto is an example of this gap.

In conclusion, SA evolved a lot and it is on the good way to be(je me demande si ça se dit) a good democracy. But there are still inequalities. It must improve its educational system, access to better jobs and share economic prosperity to the blacks.



Réponse: Oral/Places and forms of Power de notrepere, postée le 02-05-2015 à 17:07:28 (S | E)
Bonjour

In conclusion, SA evolved (un present perfect est demandé) a lot and it is on the good way to be *** a good democracy.
*** Comme dit gerondif, cela ne se dit pas en anglais. On dirait plutôt : it is on the way to becoming
Je suis sûr que cette expression existe en français, non ?



Réponse: Oral/Places and forms of Power de irisson1, postée le 03-05-2015 à 21:35:30 (S | E)
J'espère que cette fois ci sera la bonne. Encore merci pour vos corrections !

The notion I’m going to talk about is the notion of power. It can be defined as the ability or official capacity to exercise control, authority. South Africa is a country which has experienced many changes over 6o years. It was a republic with apartheid and today SA is a democracy with equality between black and white people. So, how did black South Africans achieve recognition? First we will speak about the past oppression, then about the recognition with the power sharing and finally about the situation in SA today.

Past oppression: In 1948, Apartheid in SA became official and legal racial segregation was established. The white domination had control on blacks; they banned mixed marriages, black freedom of circulation and removed the black right vote. The country was represented by social inequality, domination and submission. We saw the opening scene of “Invictus” which shows the opposition between white and black teenagers during apartheid. White people are playing rugby on a green grass whereas black people are playing in wasteland.
Then, there were black movements created to resist this domination. The end of the Apartheid dates back to 1991.(took place in aurait été aussi)

Recognition with power sharing: is symbolized by the election of Nelson Mandela in 1994. He was the first black president in SA. He could be elected thanks to the new constitution giving blacks the right to vote. He promotes a message of peace and reconciliation. One scene on “Invictus” shows white and black teenagers playing together thanks to Nelson Mandela.
If SA became a democracy, there are still inequalities.

The situation today: SA or the rainbow nation has a new prosperity. All South Afrikaners have the same rights but a gap between these two communities remains. Blacks (me gêne un peu,le mot claque trop sec et fait un peu raciste, j'aurais enveloppé cela dans the black community don’t have the same living conditions, jobs and don’t live in the same places as whites. The city of Soweto is an example of this gap.

In conclusion, SA evolved a lot and it is on the way to becoming a good democracy. But there are still inequalities. It must improve its educational system, access to better jobs and share economic prosperity to the blacks.



Réponse: Oral/Places and forms of Power de irisson1, postée le 03-05-2015 à 21:50:00 (S | E)
Excusez moi j'ai oublié de modifier dans la conclusion " evolved " par un present perfect, ça donnerait "has evolved " ?



Réponse: Oral/Places and forms of Power de gerondif, postée le 04-05-2015 à 00:23:25 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
The notion I’m going to talk about is the notion of power. It can be defined as the ability or official capacity to exercise control, authority. South Africa is a country which has experienced many changes over 6o years. It was a republic with apartheid and today SA is a democracy with equality between black and white people. So, how did black South Africans achieve recognition? First we will speak about the past oppression, then about the recognition with the sharing of power power sharing and finally about the situation in SA today.

Past oppression: In 1948, Apartheid in SA became official and legal racial segregation was established. The white domination had control on blacks; they banned mixed marriages, black freedom of circulation and removed the black right vote. The country was represented by(plutôt caractérisée par) social inequality, domination and submission. We saw the opening scene of “Invictus” which shows the opposition between white and black teenagers during apartheid. White people are playing rugby on a green grass whereas black people are playing in wasteland.
Then, there were black movements created to resist this domination. The end of the Apartheid dates back to 1991.(took place in aurait été aussi)

Recognition with power sharing: is symbolized by the election of Nelson Mandela in 1994. He was the first black president in SA. He could be elected thanks to the new constitution giving blacks the right to vote. He promotes a message of peace and reconciliation. One scene on “Invictus” shows white and black teenagers playing together thanks to Nelson Mandela.
If(although, bien que, porterait moins à confusion) SA became a democracy, there are still inequalities.

The situation today: SA or the rainbow nation has a new prosperity. All South Afrikaners have the same rights but a gap between these two communities remains. Blacks (me gêne un peu,le mot claque trop sec et fait un peu raciste, j'aurais enveloppé cela dans the black community (pourquoi laisser ma piste de correction si vous ne vous en servez pas?) don’t have the same living conditions, jobs and don’t live in the same places as whites. The city of Soweto is an example of this gap.

In conclusion, SA has evolved a lot and it is on the way to becoming a good democracy. But there are still inequalities. It(The country serait plus explicite) must improve its educational system, access to better jobs and share economic prosperity to the blacks.




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