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The Great War/aide

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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The Great War/aide
Message de etoile12 posté le 19-03-2015 à 22:09:43 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir !
après avoir passé plusieurs heures à rédiger ce devoir de (seulement) 300 mots qui a pour sujet :
b)You participate in an essay competition organized in your school. Write a 300-word essay to present the profile of the Great War hero of your choice.
J'espère pouvoir avoir une réponse et je vous remercie sincèrement d'avance pour votre aide )))

An artist was born, born in the middle of violence and blood.
Wilfred Owen was born on 18th March 1893 in Oswestry. He soon realised the importance of his skills and his faith thanks to his mother who influenced him and he became a servant of god. But was this faith real?
It’s with the love of language that he went to France in Bordeaux where he worked as teacher of languages. Then he was commissioned as a second lieutenant in the Manchester Regiment to defend his loves of his motherland. But the catastrophe woke Wilfred up? Would his faith be strong enough to resist the evil of war?
Thud, shelling, suffering, ocean of blood, corpse was his life during his period in the tranches. Despite he is delight to sacrifice his life to defend his idea of liberty a flash of lightning brought down on him. The reality reduces Wilfred to despair. How the human, the own creation of god, can overcome, destroy, reduce to nothing they own motherland. These events left him traumatize and he was invalided to CraigLockhart Hospital in Edinburg.
The light appears when it makes black. It’s here, where the madness eats away at flesh which he met fellow countryman, another war poet. A friendship began between two source of love and peace conveyed by the poet prophet. His poetry soul talked to him to show how this war for stupid reason, was … stupid, unbearable and traumatizing.
With the regret of Sassoon, He returns to fronts. For his bravery for some assaults he was awarded the Military Cross. He was glad, but not for the vanity which show some cog in the society.
The light will eventually put out the 4 November 1918, and the rage and suffer of his mother began on Armistice Day, the 11 November 1918 when she lost her bright brilliance.
In many ways he was considered the best war poet of his generation for his gritty realism and poignant contrast between idealism and reality.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 19-03-2015 22:51



Réponse: The Great War/aide de here4u, postée le 20-03-2015 à 12:58:49 (S | E)
Hello,

I'll try to help!

An artist was born, born in the middle of violence and blood.
Wilfred Owen was born on 18th March 1893 in Oswestry. He soon realised the importance of his skills and his faith thanks to his mother who influenced him and he became a servant of god(G?). But was this faith real?
It’s with the love of language that he went to France in Bordeaux where he worked as X teacher of languages. Then he was commissioned as a second lieutenant in the Manchester Regiment to defend his loves(why the plural?) of his motherland. But the catastrophe woke Wilfred up?(not very clear) Would his faith be strong enough to resist the evil of war?
Thud ('a thud' or 'thuds'), shelling, suffering, XX ocean of blood, corpseS: that was his life during his period in the tranches(trenches). Despite he is (construction...) delight to sacrifice his life to defend his idea of liberty, a flash of lightning brought down on him. The reality reduces Wilfred to despair. How XXXX (auxiliary!and tense...)the human(??human beings?), the own creation of god, can overcome, destroy, reduce to nothing they own motherland. These events left him traumatize and he was invalided(invalid = Noun or Adjective) to CraigLockhart Hospital in Edinburg.
The light appears when it makes black(I'm not sure I understand what you mean ...). It’s here, where the madness eats away at flesh which he met fellow countryman (or a singular ? with an article ...), another war poet. A friendship began between two source of love and peace conveyed by the poet prophet(??? strange construction). His poetry soul talked to him to show how XXXX (word order!)this war for stupid reason, was … stupid, unbearable and traumatizing.!
With the regret of Sassoon, He returns to fronts. For his bravery for some assaults he was awarded the Military Cross. He was glad, but not for the vanity which show some cog in the society.(? to be clarified)
The light will eventually (BE ???) put out ON the 4 November 1918, and the rage and suffer of his mother began on Armistice Day, the 11 November 1918 when she lost her bright brilliance. (??? not very clear!)
In many ways he was considered the best war poet of his generation for his gritty realism and poignant contrast between idealism and reality.

Not bad !




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