Créer un test
Connectez-vous !

Cliquez ici pour vous connecter
Nouveau compte
4 millions de comptes créés

100% gratuit !
[Avantages]


- Accueil
- Accès rapides
- Aide/Contact
- Livre d'or
- Plan du site
- Recommander
- Signaler un bug
- Faire un lien



Publicités :




Recommandés :
- Traducteurs gratuits
- Jeux gratuits
- Nos autres sites
   

Correction /langue

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

[POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE] [Suivre ce sujet]


Correction /langue
Message de lilou08 posté le 25-01-2015 à 12:28:54 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai un DM à rendre, et j'aurais besoin de votre aide pour corriger mes erreurs car j'ai du mal à les trouver... Voici mon travail:

«We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal» Martin Luther King.
All men are created equal ... this idea then shows that the American dream would be accessible to all. What is the American Dream? Myth or reality?

What does the American Dream?
The American dream is the idea of social success in the United States. This is the idea that anyone living in the United States, through his work, his courage, his determination can become prosperous. Indeed, this is the main driver of emigration to the united states.
Why do they choose the united states?
First, they choose the united states for his political model. Indeed, the US has a federal state. This means that there is cohesion between the 50 states. But also a certain autonomy. In addition, the United Nations headquarters in New York. So New York is the world capital.
Then they choose the united states for its business model. Indeed, the united states is the world's largest economy, the dollar is the international currency and exchange that is the basis of the global economy on Wall Strett headquarters in New York. In addition, the average GDP per capita per year is higher in the US than in France. All this helps to attract Europeans in their country.
Then they choose the united states for new technologies. Indeed, the Office of Science and Technology and NASA are in the USA. Also most satellites are American and Armstrong is as American.
Finally, they choose the united states for its culture: cinema, because the US is the world's leading film and television producers, music, and food.
For foreigners, the united states are the most beautiful, the largest country but also the most accessible.

Where dream he stop?
First, the bombing of the "twin towers" in New York, they were the symbol of American financial power. The attack damaged the idea of the American dream, since the US is now perceived as a risky and vulnerable land. The attack therefore generates a stricter policy on immigration.
Then the subprime crisis has damaged the image of the American dream. Indeed, in 2008 the US experiencing a serious crisis.
Then, the difference between rich and poor: a widening gap which creates moral and social tensions. Therefore access to education is unequal. So the American dream away for foreigners who want to study in the USA.
Finally, the death penalty is still relevant in some states shows that the US is known as violent.

Concrete examples of the American dream?
BARACK OBAMA is the emancipation of blacks. After slavery, racial segregation .. Its success encouraged black people to work harder to generalize this success.
STEVE JOBS of humble origins, he has not finished college and university courses, he created the company Apple.
BILL GATES: started with nothing, out he stopped school and nobody known that become one of the richest in the world.

Therefore, "The American Dream is not dead. Anyway, the reality has never been to the height of the American dream, "Paul Krugman, professor of economics at Princeton University and columnist for the New York TIMES.

Merci d'avance

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 25-01-2015 18:52


Réponse: Correction /langue de lucile83, postée le 25-01-2015 à 18:54:46 (S | E)
Up



Réponse: Correction /langue de sherry48, postée le 25-01-2015 à 22:52:09 (S | E)
Hello.

You have made a good effort, but I think you ran out of steam towards the end. I'll start with some of the more noticeable things that you can improve. 1. United States should always start with a capital letter.

What does the American Dream? verb missing?
The American dream is the idea of social success in the United States. This is the idea that anyone living in the United States, through his work, his courage, his determination can become prosperous. Indeed, this is the main driver of emigration to the united states.
Why do they choose the united states?
First, they choose the united states for his political model. Indeed, the US has a federal state. This means that there is cohesion between (between for 2 choices and what word for 50?) the 50 states. But also a certain autonomy. In addition, the United Nations headquarters in New York. (2 incomplete sentences)So New York is the world capital.
Then they choose the united states for its business model. Indeed, the united states is the world's largest economy, the dollar is the international currency and exchange that is the basis of the global economy on Wall Strett headquarters in New York. In addition, the average GDP per capita per year is higher in the US than in France. All this helps to attract Europeans in their country.
Then they choose the united states for new technologies. Indeed, the Office of Science and Technology and NASA are in the USA. Also most satellites are American and Armstrong is as American.
Finally, they choose the united states for its culture: cinema, because the US is the world's leading film and television producers, music, and food.
For foreigners, the united states are the most beautiful, the largest country but also the most accessible.

Where dream he stop?
First, the bombing of the "twin towers" in New York, they were the symbol of American financial power. The attack damaged the idea of the American dream, since the US is now perceived as a risky and vulnerable land. The attack therefore generates a stricter policy on immigration.
Then the subprime crisis has damaged the image of the American dream. Indeed, in 2008 the US experiencing a serious crisis.
Then, the difference between rich and poor: a widening gap which creates moral and social tensions. Therefore access to education is unequal. So the American dream away for foreigners who want to study in the USA.
Finally, the fact that the death penalty is still relevant in some states shows that the US is known as violent.

Concrete examples of the American dream?
BARACK OBAMA is an example of the emancipation of blacks. After slavery, racial segregation .. Its success encouraged black people to work harder to generalize this success.
STEVE JOBS of humble origins, he has not finished college and university courses, he created the company Apple.
BILL GATES: started with nothing, out he stopped school and nobody known that become one of the richest in the world.

Therefore, "The American Dream is not dead. Anyway, the reality has never been to the height of the American dream, "Paul Krugman, professor of economics at Princeton University and columnist for the New York TIMES.

Sherry




[POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE] [Suivre ce sujet]


Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais



Partager : Facebook / Twitter / ... 


> INDISPENSABLES : TESTEZ VOTRE NIVEAU | NOS MEILLEURES FICHES | Fiches les plus populaires | Aide/Contact

> COURS ET TESTS : Arithmétique | Avec cours | Calculs | Calculs littéraux | Conversions | Enfants | Equations | Fonctions | Fractions | Géométrie | Jeux | Nombres | Nombres relatifs | Opérations | Plusieurs thèmes | Problèmes | Statistiques | Tests de niveaux

> INFORMATIONS : - En savoir plus, Aide, Contactez-nous [Conditions d'utilisation] [Conseils de sécurité] Reproductions et traductions interdites sur tout support (voir conditions) | Contenu des sites déposé chaque semaine chez un huissier de justice. | Mentions légales / Vie privée / Cookies .
| Cours et exercices de mathématiques 100% gratuits, hors abonnement internet auprès d'un fournisseur d'accès.