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Correction/journal secret

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/journal secret
Message de squezze posté le 29-12-2014 à 15:46:34 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je voudrais vous demander s'il était possible de corriger mon petit texte avant samedi car je devrai être sûr pour pouvoir ensuite tout recopier au propre.
Merci beaucoup, ce serait très sympa.

24 Today we are the 24 December. For me Xmas is not just a party where we open gift and eat well with his friend and family, it's lots of, Xmas is fantastic, beautiful, wonderful, splendid and to finish Xmas is lovely because this is the time of year where everyone is together. In 9 hours I can opening my gift but this is not very important, for me the must important things is to be reunited with my family.

25 today, I m very tired and sad first, i sleeping at 2 am. and sad becausemy family's father was not with me yesterday, they are divorced and I'm tired it's tiresome. Yesterday I had a book about basketball, a scooter, a basketball, lot's of money and t-shirt.today I watching tv and walk in the champs-élisés with my father. We are stopped to drink hot chocolate at the napoléon coffe.

26 today at 2pm we go to the Fnac. After 1 hours I finally decided, and bought beats earphones. This is very expensively, the price for beat earphones is 200 $& but I need there and I can bought that because at my birthday and Xmas I received money. Evening I watching a movie with my dad and I go sleeping at 11pm because i'm flet very tired

27 today I am wake up at 10 and I am reading my book who speak about New York. It's my dream,I want go to New York to see the Empire State Building, Chrysler building and visit the World Trade Center. After, to 2h30 pm I go to the cinema and I watched les pinguims de Madagascar. At the end of the movie I return sleep in my hot bed at home.


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Modifié par lucile83 le 29-12-2014 17:50



Réponse: Correction/journal secret de notrepere, postée le 29-12-2014 à 17:24:06 (S | E)
Hello

24 Today we are the 24th of December. For me, Xmas is not just a party where we open gift(pluriel) and eat well with his(mauvaise traduction) friend(pluriel) and family, it's lots of (mot manquant?), Xmas is fantastic, beautiful, wonderful, splendid and to finish Xmas is lovely because this is the time of year where everyone is together. In 9 hours I can opening my gift(pl.) but this is not very important, for me the must important things is(accorde) to be reunited with my family.

25 today, I'm very tired and sad first, I sleeping at 2 am. and sad because my family's father (vous voulez dire ton père ?) was not with me yesterday, they are divorced and I'm tired it's tiresome. Yesterday I had (mal dit) a book about basketball, a scooter, a basketball, lot's of money and a t-shirt. Today I (verbe manquant) watching TV and walk(forme ing) in the champs-élisés with my father. We are stopped (cela ne va pas) to drink hot chocolate at the napoléon coffe.

26 today at 2pm we go(forme progressive ou preterite) to the Fnac. After 1 hours I finally decided, and bought beats earphones. This is very expensively, the price for beat earphones is 200 $& but I need there and I can bought (cet extrait est maladroit) that because at my birthday and Xmas I received money. In the evening I watching a movie with my dad and I go sleeping at 11pm because i'm flet very tired.



Réponse: Correction/journal secret de squezze, postée le 29-12-2014 à 17:48:53 (S | E)
Merci notrepere, c'est super sympa, merci 1000 fois



Réponse: Correction/journal secret de here4u, postée le 29-12-2014 à 19:03:54 (S | E)
Hello !
I'll do the 27th and will add a few things that NP forgot;
- the time of year where everyone is together.
- I sleeping at 2 am. = I went to bed at 2.
- Champs-Elysées
- i'm flet very tired. Here, you need the verb : to feel in the preterite ...

27th: today I am wake(prétérit simple de to wake!) up at 10 and I am reading my book who speak about New York. It's my dream,I want XX go to New York to see the Empire State Building, XXX Chrysler building and visit the World Trade Center. After, to 2h30 pm I go to the cinema and I watched les pinguims de Madagascar. At the end of the movie I return sleep in my hot bed at home.



Réponse: Correction/journal secret de violet91, postée le 29-12-2014 à 21:08:11 (S | E)
Hello squezze,

And what about being the third one intruding into your journal 'secret ' = diary?
C'est mignon et courageux pour un presque débutant ...les verbes irréguliers !...Attention ! La grammaire et petites étourderies ...
N'oublie pas les 's' de pl quand il en faut , sinon reste au sg ! It is a nice gift / they are nice gifts.
24 th -Xmas is a lot of different splendid things ...ou voulais-tu so special ( = unique) ou -lots of fun ?
-construction de can : remember = can you speak ( infinitive ) English ?
-to be reunited : le verbe 'gather ' ( part.passé) sera meilleur .

25 th - to go to bed : aller au lit ( prétérit irrégulier) / to go to sleep : s'endormir .' my family's father ' : parles-tu de tes grands-parents paternels = my father's parents ...or my father was away because my parents are ...( sorry d'aborder la question ) or the relatives on my father's side ( la famille du côté de mon père ) .
To have a de nombreux sens dont celui de manger , boire ...recevoir des cadeaux = obtenir = to get , got , got .
Tu as bien étudié le passé ? -BV +ed : v.reg. / colonne 'du milieu ' v.irreg list in your book) .
You had hot chocolate in café Napoléon ( keep the French name ; coffee is a drink/ café is a place . Tu trouveras d'autres mots français dans la langue anglaise = a fiancé or fiancée ...
27th- une autre chose : a book est neutre > pronom relatif 'who ' non approprié . 'parler de 'dans ce contexte : cherche 'traiter de ' ou simplement 'to be about ' : avoir pour sujet , thème ; concerner . Tu ne peux plus voir ce que tu évoques en fin de phrase . La nouvelle tour 'One World Trade Center ' a été ouverte cette année .

Eh bien ! A nous tous ...on devrait avoir une bonne note ! Suis bien tout ce qui t'a été dit et signalé . À toi !

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Modifié par lucile83 le 30-12-2014 10:09




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