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Bac LE/aide

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

[POSTER UNE NOUVELLE REPONSE] [Suivre ce sujet]


Bac LE/aide
Message de caminataure posté le 29-10-2014 à 12:36:57 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis en terminale L et je commence à faire mes oraux pour le Bac, pourriez-vous relire mon oral de Littérature Etrangère s'il vous plait ?? Le sujet est "restless and wandering".

The word restless is used for peoples who are always moving, and wandering come from the term wander. The title of this sequence is a bit metaphoric. It concerns people who are always moving, wandering, who never settle down, for a wide variety of reasons. They have an initiatory journey, so they lived a number of bad events, which gives them a certain maturity and which teach them some things, forcing them to improve themselves... The initiatory journey is a current theme in the literature. For example, Breakfast at Tiphany's, with Holly Golithly, or The Big Picture, with Paul Exben. These two characters live in the wandering, they never settle down, they change their identity... I am going to try to understand why people give up everything to change their identity, their life ?
I am going to lean on two extracts from Breakfast at Tiphany's, and an other from The Big Picture.
Breakfast at Tiphany's is a novella written by Truman Capote, and published in 1958. It is the story of an eccentric and unconventional young woman called Holly Golightly. The story is told by a anonymous narrator, who remins himself, with his friend the barman Joe Bell, the life of this woman, of whom they believe torecognize the representation in a statuette, reach by a black from Africa, on some picture brought by M. Yunioshi, one of their neighbours.
The Big Picture, written by Douglas Kennedy, and published in 1997, is a novel which tell the story of a man, Paul Exben, who's life seems to be perfect. But, he's alone, and prisoner of his dreams. Following a terrible accident, where he kills one of his colleague, called Gregoire, he runs away, taking the identity of the man, and he starts a new life, he becomes photographer, as photography is his passion...
What could justify this adventure at high-risk, from the characters, is a kind of wish to run away and to forget their past, to run away from their family, with whom they get on blady, or to try to stay out of jail, of totalitarian regimes, of difficult times...
In this extract, we learn that Holly's real name is Lulamae Barnes. She was maried with a man, called Doc, who had four children. Doc hosted them, her and her brother Fred, whereas they were poor, homeless people and orphans. One day, she runs away from Doc, no longer able to life this life, seeking to fulfill her dreams of freedom. So, she crosses a mark on her past, her boring orphan life, and she changes her name. For Paul Exben, this change of identity is made while the character has a good situation, two children and a wife, he has everything he needs to be happy.
Nevertheless, he is not happy because, looking back, he realises that he hasn't got the life of his dreams. It's the accidental death of his friend Gregoire, who was his wife's lover, which pushes him to go for a field, to change his name and life, to realise his dreams, to forget his life, which he judged like a life of misery, and to avoid the prison...
Nevertheless, even if these people change their name, their personalities remains. Holly stayed, in the bottom, a rebel, a bit depressive. She became a kind of common woman, she became disrupted, further to this trauma, this sacrifice.
Paul Exben is also going to be traumatizedby this. He is going to be paranoiac and will believe, at each moment, that the stratagem is about to be discovered.
He is also going constantly to think about his children.
This choice is very selfish. Paul's children suffer a lot with the departure of their father. And, Doc, Fred, and Doc's children too, because of Holly's departure. But, sometimes, the taste for adventure and risk, or the fate are stronger than the remorse.
Some people, after this change of identity, rebuild their lives right away. But, others keep travelling to travel, constantly. In Breakfast at Tiphany's, Holly is in the second category. We can see this because she never stops travelling and in her name: Holly Golithly, Travelling. Futhermore, she says: « After all, how do I know where I'll be living tomorrow ? ».
Finally, in all the novella, Holly doesn't stop travelling, to run away from her problems... Paul travels also a lot, with fear. He doesn't want someone discover his true identity. The constant fear to be found remains, all the time.
In conclusion, we can say that it's not an harmless action. In fact, it's very hard, psychologically, to leave our life and to change our identity. And, this can bring hard trauma.


je n'ai pas trop écrit?
Merci d'avance pour votre aide.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 29-10-2014 14:04



Réponse: Bac LE/aide de bluestar, postée le 31-10-2014 à 12:30:23 (S | E)
Bonjour..

The word restless is used for peoples who are always moving, and wandering comes from the term wander. The title of this sequence is a bit metaphorical. It concerns people who are always moving, wandering, who never settle down, for a wide variety of reasons. They have an initiatory journey, so they lived a number of bad events, which gives them a certain maturity and which teach them some things, forcing them to improve themselves... The initiatory journey is a current theme in the literature. For example, Breakfast at Tiphany's Tiffany's, with Holly Goligthly, or The Big Picture, with Paul Exben. These two characters live in the wandering, they never settle down, they change their identity (pluriel)... I am going to try to understand why people give up everything to change their identity |(pluriel), their life (pluriel) ?
I am going to lean on ('use' serait mieux) two extracts from Breakfast at Tiphany's, and an other another (un mot) from The Big Picture.
Breakfast at Tiphffany's is a novella written by Truman Capote, and published in 1958. It is the story of an eccentric and unconventional young woman called Holly Golightly. The story is told by an anonymous narrator, who remins himself ('recalls' irait mieux ici), with his friend the barman Joe Bell, the life of this woman, of whom they believe to recognize the representation in a statuette, reach by a black from Africa, on some picture brought by M. Yunioshi, one of their neighbours.
The Big Picture, written by Douglas Kennedy, and published in 1997, is a novel which tell (accorde)the story of a man, Paul Exben, who's life seems to be perfect. But, he's alone, and prisoner of his dreams. Following a terrible accident, where he kills one of his colleague, called Gregoire, he runs away, taking the identity of the man, and he starts a new life.(nouvelle phrase) Hhe becomes a photographer, as photography is his passion...
What could justify this adventure at high-risk these high-risk adventures, from the characters, is a kind of wish to run away and to forget their past, to run away from their family(pluriel), with whom they get on blady (orth.), or to try to stay out of jail, of totalitarian regimes, of difficult times...
In this extract, we learn that Holly's real name is Lulamae Barnes. She was married with a man, called Doc, who had four children. Doc hosted (utiliser un autre verbe)them, her and her brother Fred, whereas they were poor, homeless people and orphans. One day, she runs away from Doc, no longer able to life this life, seeking to fulfill her dreams of freedom. So, she crosses a mark on draws a line through her past, her boring orphan life, and she changes her name. For Paul Exben, this change of identity is made while the character has a good situation, two children and a wife, he has everything he needs to be happy.
Nevertheless, he is not happy because, looking back, he realises that he hasn't got the life of his dreams. It's the accidental death of his friend Gregoire, who was his wife's lover, which pushes him to go for a field, to change his name and life, to realise his dreams, to forget his life, which he judged like a life of misery, and to avoid the prison...
Nevertheless, even if these people change their name (pluriel), their personalities remains (accorde). Holly stayed, in the at bottom, a rebel, a bit depressive. She became a kind of common woman, she became disrupted, further to following this trauma, this sacrifice.
Paul Exben is also going to be traumatized by this. He is going to be a paranoiac and will believe, at each moment, that the stratagem is about to be discovered.
He is also going constantly to think about his children.
This choice is very selfish. Paul's children suffer a lot with the departure of their father. And, Doc, Fred, and Doc's children too, because of Holly's departure. But, sometimes, the taste for adventure and risk, or the fate are stronger than the remorse.
Some people, after this change of identity, rebuild their lives right away. But, others keep travelling to travel, constantly. In Breakfast at Tiphany's, Holly is in the second ccategory. We can see this because she never stops travelling and in her name : Holly Goligthly, Travelling. Futhermore, she says: « After all, how do I know where I'll be living tomorrow ? ».
Finally, in all the novella, Holly doesn't stop travelling, to run away from her problems... Paul travels also a lot, with fear. He doesn't want someone ... discover his true identity.



Réponse: Bac LE/aide de bluestar, postée le 31-10-2014 à 12:35:35 (S | E)
Bonjour..
J'ai utilisé toute la place dans le premier post . Voici le reste de votre texte:

Paul travels also a lot, with fear. He doesn't want someone...manque un mot ici... discover his true identity. The constant fear to be found (of verb + ing) remains, all the time.
In conclusion, we can say that it's not an harmless action. In fact, it's very hard, psychologically, to leave our life(pluriel) and to change our identity (pluriel). And, this can bring hard trauma.



Réponse: Bac LE/aide de caminataure, postée le 31-10-2014 à 19:33:19 (S | E)
Bonjour,merci mais vous n'expliquez pas ce qui ne va pas donc je ne comprends pas et ne vois pas ce qu'il faut changer.

-------------------
Modifié par caminataure le 31-10-2014 19:33



Réponse: Bac LE/aide de tdu6300, postée le 31-10-2014 à 19:54:08 (S | E)
Bonjour Caminataure

Bluestar a mis du bleu là où il y a des problèmes et du vert pour ses corrections ou ses conseils.
Il y a effectivement des passages où il n'y a que du bleu, sans conseils en vert. Vous êtes censé travailler ces passages par vous-même et essayer de voir où ça pêche.

Les correcteurs sur ce site sont bénévoles. On peut les diviser en deux catégories: Ceux qui pointent les erreurs, et ceux qui pointent les erreurs et vont plus loin en expliquant le pourquoi du comment.
xxxxxxxx
Il n'y a pas de solution idéale.
Pour l'instant, je vous propose de refaire une nouvelle version de votre texte, puis de la reproposer.
S'il reste des fautes, nous corrigerons à nouveau.
Courage. J'avais commencé à corriger votre texte, mais ayant dû m'absenter je n'ai pu terminer, et Bluestar a fait le travail.
Allez, courage, vous êtes sur la bonne voie, votre texte n'est pas mal du tout.
Regardez sur le site en tapant les mot clés colorés par Bluestar. Cela devrait vous aider.
Cordialement.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 31-10-2014 21:38



Réponse: Bac LE/aide de caminataure, postée le 31-10-2014 à 20:38:11 (S | E)
Bonsoir et merci pour votre réponse, j'ai réduit fortement mon texte parce que mon oral ne dure en fait que 5 minutes et non 10 comme je pensais initialement. J'ai aussi essayé de corriger les fautes qu'il y avait :

" The word restless is used for peoples who are always moving, and wandering comes from the term wander. The title of this sequence is a bit metaphorical. It concerns people who never settle down, for a wide variety of reasons. They have an initiatory journey, so they lived a number of bad events, which gives them a certain maturity and which teach them some things, forcing them to improve themselves... The initiatory journey is a current theme in the literature, as we can see with Breakfast at Tiffany's or The Big Picture. I am going to try to understand why people give up everything to change their livres. For this, I am going to use two extracts from Breakfast at Tiffany's, and another from The Big Picture.

Breakfast at Tiffany's is a novella written by Truman Capote, and published in 1958. The story is told by an anonymous narrator, who recalls himself, with his friend the barman Joe Bell, the life of an eccentric and unconventional young woman called Holly Golightly.
The Big Picture, written by Douglas Kennedy, and published in 1997, is a novel which tells the story of a man, Paul Exben. Following a terrible accident, where he kills one of his colleague, called Gregoire, he runs away, taking the identity of the man, and he starts a new life.
What could justify these high-risk adventures, from the characters, is a kind of wish to forget their past, to run away from their families, with whom they get on badly, or to try to stay out of jail, of difficult times...In this extract, we learn that Holly's real name is Lulamae Barnes. She was married with a man, called Doc, who rescued her and her brother Fred, whereas they were poor and orphans. One day, she runs away from Doc, no longer able to live this life, seeking to fulfill her dreams of freedom. So, she draws a line through her past, her boring orphan life, and she changes her name. For Paul Exben, this change of identity is made while the character has a good situation, two children and a wife, everything he needs to be happy. Nevertheless, looking back, he realises that he hasn't got the life of his dreams. It's the accidental death of his friend Gregoire, who was his wife's lover, which pushes him to change his name and to leave his live, which he judged like a life of misery.
Nevertheless, even if these people change their names, their personalities remain. Holly stayed, at the bottom, a rebel, a bit depressive. She became a kind of common woman, disrupted, following this trauma. Paul Exben is also going to be traumatized by this. He is going to be a paranoiac and will believe, at each moment, that the stratagem is about to be discovered.
This choice is very selfish. Paul's children suffer a lot with the departure of their father. And, Doc, Fred, and Doc's children too, because of Holly's departure. But, sometimes, the taste for adventure and risk, or the fate are stronger than remorses.
Some people, after this change of identity, rebuild their lives right away. But, others keep travelling, constantly. In Breakfast at Tiffany's, Holly is in the second category. We can see this in her name on her mailbox : Holly Goligthly, Travelling. Futhermore, she says: « After all, how do I know where I'll be living tomorrow ? ». And, she doesn't stop travelling, to run away from her problems... Paul travels also a lot. The constant fear to be found of remaining(j'ai pas vraiment compris...) all the time. He doesn't want someone to discover his true identity.

In conclusion, we can say that it's not an harmless action to leave our lives and to change our identities. It's very hard, psychologically, and, this can bring hard trauma, like for these characters."

ps : c'est bien tiFFany's
merci pour votre aide

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 31-10-2014 21:43
Pas de rouge/rose sur le forum, merci.



Réponse: Bac LE/aide de bluestar, postée le 31-10-2014 à 22:40:47 (S | E)
Bonsoir..
Je ne peux pas ajouter grand-chose à ce que tdu6300 a dit . Sur ce site, nous sommes censés , dans la mesure du possible, de faire allusion à la bonne réponse plutôt que de vous la donner immédiatement . Tu ferais mieux de te rappeler ce que vous avez travaillé à comprendre. Voici quelques erreurs à vous nouveau texte , qui est un très bon effort comme il le dit:

peoples(singulier),.. livres (orth.),..who recalls himself (pas besoin de 'himself')..to leave his live (orth.)...which he judged like a life of misery..(utiliser un autre mot au lieu de 'like')

the constant fear to be found remains..doit etre "the constant fear of being found remains"..

remorse (singulier)

Cordialement



Réponse: Bac LE/aide de violet91, postée le 31-10-2014 à 23:29:00 (S | E)
Bonsoir ,
C'est vrai , bel effort ! People est un collectif apparemment sg : des, les gens à 90% // vous ne pourrez lui mettre un 's' qu'en parlant de peuples différents . Il reste quelques maladresses( draw a line across , c'est à plat = en travers et non à travers ( percée ) / seeking to ? looking for ? In the purpose of .../ 'hard' trauma..) et une erreur importante dans la conclusion .
L'article indéfini 'an ' devant un 'h' aspiré tenant donc lieu de consonne . A horse .
Bonne soirée et bon oral .



Réponse: Bac LE/aide de caminataure, postée le 01-11-2014 à 09:40:43 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Tout d'abord merci!!

"The word restless is used for people who are always moving, and wandering comes from the term wander. The title of this sequence is a bit metaphorical. It concerns people who never settle down, for a wide variety of reasons. They have an initiatory journey, so they lived a number of bad events, which gives them a certain maturity and which teach them some things, forcing them to improve themselves... The initiatory journey is a current theme in the literature, as we can see with Breakfast at Tiffany's or The Big Picture. I am going to try to understand why people give up everything to change their lives. For this, I am going to use two extracts from Breakfast at Tiffany's, and another from The Big Picture.

Breakfast at Tiffany's is a novella written by Truman Capote, and published in 1958. The story is told by an anonymous narrator, who recalls, with his friend the barman Joe Bell, the life of an eccentric and unconventional young woman called Holly Golightly. The Big Picture, written by Douglas Kennedy, and published in 1997, is a novel which tells the story of a man, Paul Exben. Following a terrible accident, where he kills one of his colleague, called Gregoire, he runs away, taking the identity of the man, and he starts a new life.
What could justify these high-risk adventures, from the characters, is a kind of wish to forget their past, to run away from their families, with whom they get on badly, or to try to stay out of jail, of difficult times...In this extract, we learn that Holly's real name is Lulamae Barnes. She was married with a man, called Doc, who rescued her and her brother Fred, whereas they were poor and orphans. One day, she runs away from Doc, no longer able to live this life, seeking to fulfill her dreams of freedom. So, she draws a line through her past, her boring orphan life, and she changes her name. For Paul Exben, this change of identity is made while the character has a good situation, two children and a wife, everything he needs to be happy. Nevertheless, looking back, he realises that he hasn't got the life of his dreams. It's the accidental death of his friend Gregoire, who was his wife's lover, which pushes him to change his name and to leave his life, which he judged asa life of misery.
Nevertheless, even if these people change their names, their personalities remain. Holly stayed, at the bottom, a rebel, a bit depressive. She became a kind of common woman, disrupted, following this trauma. Paul Exben is also going to be traumatized by this. He is going to be a paranoiac and will believe, at each moment, that the stratagem is about to be discovered.
This choice is very selfish. Paul's children suffer a lot with the departure of their father. And, Doc, Fred, and Doc's children too, because of Holly's departure. But, sometimes, the taste for adventure and risk, or the fate are stronger than remorse.
Some people, after this change of identity, rebuild their lives right away. But, others keep travelling, constantly. In Breakfast at Tiffany's, Holly is in the second category. We can see this in her name on her mailbox : Holly Goligthly, Travelling. Futhermore, she says: « After all, how do I know where I'll be living tomorrow ? ». And, she doesn't stop travelling, to run away from her problems... Paul travels also a lot. The constant fear of being found of remains all the time. He doesn't want someone to discover his true identity.

In conclusion, we can say that it's not a harmless action to leave our lives and to change our identities. It's very hard, psychologically, and, this can bring hard trauma, like for these characters."


"draws a line across" j'ai regardé dans mon dictionnaire des expressions et il est marqué que je peux utiliser cette expression pour "tirer un trait", mais pas au sens littérale, après je ne sais pas...
je n'ai pas compris où j'ai mis/doit mettre "seeking to ? looking for ? purpose of..." x)
je peux remplacer "hard trauma" par "important trauma" ou "big trauma" ??
et je ne comprends pas pq il y a un "s" à "draws" et non pas à "became"par exemple alors qu'ils sont tous deux à la troisième personne du singulier.

Merci d'avance pour votre aide, bonne journée.



Réponse: Bac LE/aide de here4u, postée le 01-11-2014 à 09:53:14 (S | E)
Hello!
Juste parce que 'became' est du prétérit !
J'ai vu d'autres erreurs ( typos) et vais essayer de trouver le temps de proofread aussi !
Bon courage!

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 01-11-2014 10:14
smileys non conformes effacés.



Réponse: Bac LE/aide de here4u, postée le 01-11-2014 à 11:33:33 (S | E)
Hello !

Hello, 'naughty' Thin Sister Lucile ! Admit that my pumpkin and adorable little ghost frightened you !

- one of his colleague
- was married with a man,
- , she draws a line (has a different meaning !)
- has a good situation,
- to be a paranoiac (I'd say 'to become paranoid')
- Some people, after this change of identity, rebuild their lives (word order ...)
- The constant fear of being found of remains
- hard trauma

Bon courage !



Réponse: Bac LE/aide de bluestar, postée le 01-11-2014 à 14:42:57 (S | E)
Bonjour,

Voici le 'final cut' que les gens de cinéma disent..


The word restless is used for people who are always moving, and wandering comes from the term wander. The title of this sequence is a bit metaphorical. It concerns people who never settle down, for a wide variety of reasons. They have an initiatory journey, so they lived experience a number of bad events, which gives them a certain maturity and which teach them some things, forcing them to improve themselves... The initiatory journey ('quest' serait mieux) is a current common theme in the literature, as we can see with Breakfast at Tiffany's or The Big Picture. I am going to try to understand why people give up everything to change their lives. For this, I am going to use two extracts, one from Breakfast at Tiffany's, and another from The Big Picture.

Breakfast at Tiffany's is a novella written by Truman Capote, and published in 1958. The story is told by an anonymous narrator, who recalls, with his friend the barman Joe Bell, the life of an eccentric and unconventional young woman called Holly Golightly. The Big Picture, written by Douglas Kennedy, and published in 1997, is a novel which tells the story of a man, Paul Exben. Following a terrible accident, where he kills one of his colleague, called Gregoire, he runs away, taking the identity of the man, and he starts a new life.
What could justify these high-risk adventures, from the characters, is a kind of wish to forget their past, to run away from their families, with whom they get on badly, or to try to stay out of jail, of in difficult times...In this extract, we learn that Holly's real name is Lulamae Barnes. She was married with to a man, called Doc, who rescued her and her brother Fred, whereas when they were poor and orphans. One day, she runs away from Doc, no longer able to live this life, seeking to fulfill her dreams of freedom. So, she draws a line through under her past, her boring orphan life, and she changes her name. For Paul Exben, this change of identity is made while the character has a good situation, two children and a wife, everything he needs to be happy. Nevertheless, looking back, he realises that he hasn't got the life of his dreams. It's the accidental death of his friend Gregoire, who was his wife's lover, which pushes him to change his name and to leave his life, which he judged regarded as a life of misery.
Nevertheless, even if these people change their names, their personalities remain. Holly stayed, at the bottom, a rebel, a bit depressive. She became a kind of common woman, disrupted disturbed, following this trauma. Paul Exben is also going to be traumatized by this. He is going to be a paranoiac and will believe, at each moment, that the stratagem is about to be discovered. (why the change of tense?)This choice is very selfish. Paul's children suffer a lot with the departure of their father. And, Doc, Fred, and Doc's children too, because of Holly's departure. But, sometimes, the taste for adventure and risk, or the fate are stronger than remorse.
Some people, after this change of identity, rebuild their lives right away. But, others keep travelling, constantly. In Breakfast at Tiffany's, Holly is in the second category. We can see this in her name on her mailbox : Holly Goligthly, Travelling. Futhermore, she says: « After all, how do I know where I'll be living tomorrow ? ». And, she doesn't stop travelling, to run away from her problems... Paul travels also a lot. The constant fear of being found of remains all the time (this phrase duplicates 'constant'). He doesn't want someone to discover his true identity.

In conclusion, we can say that it's not a harmless action to leave our lives and to change our identities. It's very hard, difficult psychologically, and, this can bring hardship, like as it does for these characters."






Réponse: Bac LE/aide de here4u, postée le 01-11-2014 à 16:10:37 (S | E)
Hello caminataure, hello bluestar !

Hé non ! Pas 'la dernière prise' ! et bluestar a raison : l'idéal est de juste indiquer la nature de la faute !
J'ai quand même envie de rajouter le :
- one of my colleague ... 'one of' implique forcément quelque chose ... et le contre sens sur "tirer un trait sur quelque chose" :
Lien internet

Bonne journée "d'été" à tous !




Réponse: Bac LE/aide de caminataure, postée le 02-11-2014 à 15:31:35 (S | E)
Bonjour,
"one of his colleague "colleagues ?
"is about to be discovered." "est découvert", donc prétérit non ?
"rebuild their lives" je ne vois pas pourquoi ce n'est pas le bon ordre x)
bonne fin de week end

-------------------
Modifié par caminataure le 02-11-2014 15:32

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 02-11-2014 15:42



Réponse: Bac LE/aide de caminataure, postée le 02-11-2014 à 15:35:12 (S | E)
"Il est temps de tirer un trait sur tout cet épisode malheureux.
It's time to draw a line under this whole unfortunate episode."

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 02-11-2014 15:44
Pas de rouge sur le forum, merci.




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