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Correction/journaliste

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/journaliste
Message de slopezj posté le 10-10-2014 à 07:08:29 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous !
J'aurais besoin d'aide pour corriger un devoir d'anglais s'il vous plait, pourriez-vous m'aider ?
Cela concerne un exercice intitulé " Job interview ".
Merci d'avance !
Job: Journalist.
What are your strengths?
Point out your positive attributes related to the job.

I am hardworking, I have good writing skills, and I am versatile. I like learning new things. Moreover,
I always watch the news and read newspapers. I am also a good listener and I am attentive to details. In my opinion, the eligibility requirements for a journalist post are among these.

What past accomplishments gave you satisfaction?
My first job as a nurse has helped me to improve my human qualities. It is thanks to this job that I am a patient person today.
I told you that I was a good listener, I developed this skills when I was a nurse.
My previous work allowed me to acquire skills in communication. In fact, I was a waitress. This job has taught me how to adapt to each person in the society.
That might sounds silly, but this job was the best experience I had ever had. That taught me many things about myself. I will always remember the first time I was appointed the best employee of the month!
Thanks to this job, today I know how to go through bad situations. To finish I am not afraid anymore to face people.
For all these reasons, I am proud of every work I have done until today.

What makes you want to work hard?
First obviously, the salary is important. Although that is not my primary concern.
Second, a good working environment helps me to be more productive.
The competition really makes me want to work harder and better.
I also like to help people in their lives. For example, when you are a journalist you are required to inform the society. Access to information foster an improved quality of life. That kind of factor is really motivating for me.

How do you handle pressure and stress?
It is really hard to deal with stress and pressure. When I feel stressed, I breathe in and breathe out. I close my eyes, and I think about the best way to feel better. There are different ways to deal with stress and pressure.
For example, when I am overwhelmed by work I take a break. When I am in an embarrassing situation, I try to soothe myself by reinforcing the fact that this feeling will pass. It always works!
Sometimes, take a walk can also be a good way to handle stress.
I am a dynamic and positive person, I always try to not get stressed.

Why did you choose your college major?
Currently I am studying at the university UQTR which is in partnership with my university in Paris “La Sorbonne”. “La Sorbonne” is one of the best university in France. I know that these universities are both going to give me the best tools for my future job.
In Paris, all my teachers told me UQTR was a good place to do my studies.
“La Sorbonne” is known as the “Best University” in which you can get a good “training on communication skills”.
In addition, “La Sorbonne” is in partnership with many famous French Medias.
I am in the same boat as people who love what they do. I love to collect the information, to analyze and synthetises it. That is why “journalist” is a work which belongs to me.
Most of all, I truly love this profession.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 10-10-2014 08:08


Réponse: Correction/journaliste de tdu6300, postée le 10-10-2014 à 13:07:49 (S | E)
Hello, here is my contribution
In blue = What seems incorrect
In green = My remarks or propositions

Job: Journalist.
What are your strengths?
Point out your positive attributes related to the job.

I am hardworking, I have good writing skills, and I am versatile. I like learning new things. Moreover, I always watch the news and read newspapers. I am also a good listener and I am attentive to details. In my opinion, the eligibility requirements for a journalist post are among these.

What past accomplishments gave you satisfaction?
My first job as a nurse has helped me to improve my human qualities. It is thanks to this job that I am a patient person today.
I told you that I was a good listener, (replace by semicolon;) I developed this skills (singular) when I was a nurse.
My previous work allowed me to acquire skills in communication. In fact, I was a waitress. This job has taught (I think this tense is correct, but why is it different from the two previous sentences) me how to adapt to each person in the (I have a doubt here, but see lessons on articles) society.
That might sounds silly, but this job was the best experience I had ever had. (this tense seems incorrect) That (Replace with another (shorter) word) taught me many things about myself. I will always remember the first time I was appointed the (see lessons on articles) best employee of the month!
Thanks to this job, today I know how to go through bad situations. To finish I am not afraid anymore to face people.(Construction; It sounds very "french")
For all these reasons, I am proud of every work I have done until today.

What makes you want to work hard?
First obviously, the salary is important. Although that is not my primary concern. (Why not make only one sentence with the previous two? Starting with “Although” may not be your best choice)
Second, a good working environment helps me to be more productive.
The (see lessons on articles) competition really makes me want to work harder and better.
I also like to help people in their lives. For example, (If you get rid of "For example", and start with "When you are a journalist..." you may strengthen your point) when you are a journalist you are required to inform the society. Access to information foster (I have a doubt; check this word and eventually replace it. And don't forget the third person) an improved quality of life. That kind of factor is really motivating for me.

How do you handle pressure and stress?
It is really hard to deal with stress and pressure. When I feel stressed, I breathe in and breathe out. I close my eyes, and I think about the best way to feel better. There are different ways to deal with stress and pressure.
For example, when I am overwhelmed by work I take a break. When I am in an embarrassing situation, I try to soothe myself by reinforcing the fact that this feeling will pass. It always works!
Sometimes, take a walk can also be a good way to handle stress.
I am a dynamic and positive person, I always try to not get stressed.

Why did you choose your college major?
Currently I am studying at the university UQTR which is in partnership with my university in Paris “La Sorbonne”. “La Sorbonne” is one of the best university (Plural) in France. I know that these universities are both going to give me the best tools for my future job.
In Paris, all my teachers told me UQTR was a good place to do my studies.
“La Sorbonne” is known as the “Best University” in which you can get a good “training on communication skills”.
In addition, “La Sorbonne” is in partnership with many famous French Medias.
I am in the same boat as people who love what they do. I love to collect the (See lessons on articles) information, to analyze and synthetises (spelling and first person) it. That is why “journalist” is a work which belongs to me. (Are you sure? Have you got a property title to prove it? Is it not the opposite? Don't you belong to it? Check the meaning of "to belong" in a dictionary)
Most of all, I truly love this profession.

I think that you use "that" very often. You could smetimes replace it by "it".
Very good work. Carry on!!!
I hope this helps you. Best regards.



Réponse: Correction/journaliste de slopezj, postée le 11-10-2014 à 06:56:43 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide =)



Réponse: Correction/journaliste de here4u, postée le 11-10-2014 à 10:00:03 (S | E)
Hello

A few things to add to TD's huge work !:
For some, they're more 'clumsy expressions ' than mistakes ...

-the eligibility requirements for a journalist post(constructions +vocabulary)

- That might sounds silly, => this is wrong

-take a walk can also be a good way to handle stress. wrong construction

- to not get stressed.(is often heard but is wrong for exams)

- French Medias. (mind the Latin plural !)

- I love to collect the information, to analyze and synthetises it.(I wouldn't have chosen that construction ...+ mistakes which were pointed out)

- That is why “journalist” is a work (construction + grammar)

Have a good weekend !




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