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Sherlock Holmes/ Correction

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Sherlock Holmes/ Correction
Message de vanilius posté le 28-05-2014 à 19:21:42 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je m’appelle Thibault, je passe cette année mon bac L en candidat libre. J'ai déjà validé l'épreuve d'anglais lors d'une session précédente mais je dois passer l'épreuve de Littérature En Langue Étrangère. J'ai choisi pour l'un de mes dossiers le thème "Le personnage, ses figures, ses avatars" et ai décidé de travailler sur Sherlock Holmes.
Si une bonne âme avait l’extrême amabilité d'y jeter un coup d’œil et de corriger les fautes d'orthographe, grammaire, conjugaison...etc. je lui en serais reconnaissant.
Merci pour vos réponses.

My first extract come from the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's book a study in sclarlet, published 1887, which is one of the first Sherlock Holmes adventures and his first novel with the famous detective, it's to the first story who the Dr. Watson appears.
The action take place a few time after Holmes and Watson meeting. Watson discovers the Sherlock 's deduction capacity for the first time. Holmes try to explain his thought and Watson is very impressed. He discovers to the Holme's personality in particular his arrogance when Holmes explains to think of being upper than "Lecoq" and "Dubin", two famous Detectives from english literature. The extract is very representative of the Conan Doyle's work about Sherlock Holmes. The story is telled from Watson point of view, like in the most Holmes adventures (except the very first ones and the last ones). Watson is, in fact, an excuse for Holmes to explain his deductions. If he would be alone, the reader would be lost. Indeed, here, when Holmes explain his deductions to Watson, he really explain them to the reader. The reader can identify himself with the Dr Watson who is, most of time, just a spectator

The second extract come from Sherlock Holmes which is a four-act play written by William Gillette and based on Conan Doyle's character. William Gillette was an American actor and playwright born in 1853. Sherlock Holmes is best-know play and probably his greatest succes. This play is interessant because it includes all the important elements from the books. There is, of course, Sherlock Holmes with his amazing capacity of deduction. The Dr Watson who play less is role of interface with the reader than in the books, because in a play, there is others ways to know the thoughts of a character. And there is, and it's why I chose this extract, the Pr James Moriarty.
Conan Doyle's main motivation, by creating the character of Moriarty, was to kill Sherlock Holmes, as would indicate his name (of the Latin to moriar which means "dying"). It is well knowned that The Final Problem was supposed to be what says his title, and the author wanted to soften the death of the detective for the readers, by making Sherlock leave with an aura of the glory to have freed the world of a criminal so harmful as his previous investigations would have seemed pointless.
But under the preasure from the readers, Conan Doyle decide his hero's revival.
Last point about this play. William Gillette had a very important role for the Sherlock Holmes's representation in the pop-culture. Indeed His use of the deerstalker cap and the curved pipe became durable symbols of the character and habe been using for most of screen adaptation. [...]

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-05-2014 19:30


Réponse: Sherlock Holmes/ Correction de vanilius, postée le 28-05-2014 à 19:22:26 (S | E)
La suite messieurs, dames:

[...] My third text is a Vincent Starett's poem called 221B. First, I would speak about Vincent Starett. Born in 1886, he is an american writter and newspaperman. Fan of Sherlock Holmes since his early age. Published in 1920 The adventure of the unique Hamlet was his first Holmesian book and a Sherlock Holmes pastiche which give him national recognition and bought him into-contact with other like-minded souls during the period before Sherlockian became organized into distinct literary circles. His 1933 book, The private life of Sherlock Holmes is deemed a classic by Sherlockian scholars and his 1942 sonnet, 221B is a literary staple for all of them.
In 1943 he founded "The Hounds of Baskerville", the oldest Sherlock's fans society.
To come back on his poem, the 221B Baker Street, is probably as knowed as Sherlock and Watson, it's the adress where the duet live. If Baker Street existed in Conan Doyle's time, the 221B was fitional. I said was, because, nowadays, there is a 221B in Baker Street. In 239 Baker Street, there is the Sherlock Holmes Museum, who reconstitutes Sherlock Holmes's apartment such as he is described through the various adventures of the detective. To finish the reconstruction, the Sherlock Holmes Museum contains n°221B over the front door, instead of n°239 but the municipality close her eyes to this unnumbering. It's funny to notice that Starett use something concrete as an adress for title, and remember to the reader that the duet is fictional with sentences like "Who never lived and so can never die" or "And it is always eighteen ninety-five".

My last document is an advertising for the serie "Dr House".
I chose this document because there is many parralels between the two characters.
I think that we can see Dr House as a Sherlock Holmes rewriting.
First, there is the names "House" and "Holmes" which are enough similar, like the names of their closer friends, the doctors James Watson and James Wilson. Then we can notice comon points in their personalities, they are bored when they do not work on a case, both are obsessed by a quest of verity und have an innate talent for the deduction. Both use drugs, Holmes smokes pipe and uses cocain sometimes, House is addicted to medicine, Both are musicians to, House plays piano and guitar and Sherlock violin. Furthermore their knowledge in their own preserve, medicine for one, investigations for the other seem to be offset by their ignorance in others preserves, indeed, in a study in scarlet, watson notice that Holmes knows almost anything about literatur, politics or astronomy. House can confuse Coppernic and Gallilé.
To finish, some House's Patient have interessting names. Like his first one, miss Adler, who is in Sherlock's adventures, one of the most important woman that he meets or the man who shoot him with a gun called Jack "Moriarty".
And the last and the most important, their methodology: They proceed both by elimination to solve their "riddles".

To conclude, I think that, Sherlock Holmes is one of the greatest characters from the english literatur as it showed by the miscellaneous and the numerous adaptations. We can even say that the character became mythical because the own of the myth is his capacity to be rewritten and reinterpreted

-------------------
Modifié par vanilius le 28-05-2014 19:39



Réponse: Sherlock Holmes/ Correction de gerondif, postée le 28-05-2014 à 20:02:10 (S | E)
Bonjour,
revoyez les s au présent simple et les participes passés irréguliers,traités un peu à la légère.
erreurs en bleu ou rose
corrections en vert

My first extract come from the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's book a study in sclarlet, published in 1887, which is one of the first Sherlock Holmes adventures and his first novel with the famous detective, it's to the first story who the Dr. Watson appears.
The action take place a few time after Holmes and Watson meeting. Watson discovers the Sherlock 's deduction capacity for the first time. Holmes try to explain his thoughts and Watson is very impressed. He discovers to the Holme's personality in particular his arrogance when Holmes explains to think of being upper than "Lecoq" and "Dubin", two famous Detectives from english literature. The extract is very representative of the Conan Doyle's work about Sherlock Holmes. The story is telled from Watson's point of view, like in the most Holmes adventures (except the very first ones and the last ones). Watson is, in fact, an excuse for Holmes to explain his deductions. If he would be alone, the reader would be lost. Indeed, here, when Holmes explain his deductions to Watson, he really explain them to the reader. The reader can identify himself with the Dr Watson who is, most of time, just a spectator

The second extract come from Sherlock Holmes which is a four-act play written by William Gillette and based on Conan Doyle's character. William Gillette was an American actor and playwright born in 1853. Sherlock Holmes is his best-know play and probably his greatest succes. This play is interessant because it includes all the important elements from the books. There is, of course, Sherlock Holmes with his amazing capacity of deduction. The Dr Watson who play less is role of interface with the reader than in the books, because in a play, there is (pluriel)others ways to know the thoughts of a character. And there is, and it's why I chose this extract, the Pr James Moriarty.
Conan Doyle's main motivation, by creating the character of Moriarty, was to kill Sherlock Holmes, as his name would indicate (of the Latin to moriar which means "dying"). It is well knowned that The Final Problem was supposed to be what says his title(ordre des mots), and the author wanted to soften the death of the detective for the readers, by making Sherlock leave with an aura of the glory to have (for + ing)freed the world of so harmful a criminal as his previous investigations would have seemed pointless.(sens???)
But under the preasure from the readers, Conan Doyle decide his hero's revival.
Last point about this play. William Gillette had a very important role for the Sherlock Holmes's representation in the pop-culture. Indeed His use of the deerstalker cap and the curved pipe became durable symbols of the character and habe been using for most of screen adaptations. [...]

My third text is a Vincent Starett's poem called 221B. First, I would like to speak about Vincent Starett. Born in 1886, he is an american writter and newspaperman. Fan of Sherlock Holmes since his early age. Published in 1920, The adventure of the unique Hamlet was his first Holmesian book and a Sherlock Holmes pastiche which give(prétérit) him national recognition and bought him into contact with other like-minded souls during the period before Sherlockians became organized into distinct literary circles. His 1933 book, The private life of Sherlock Holmes is deemed a classic by Sherlockian scholars and his 1942 sonnet, 221B is a literary staple for all of them.
In 1943 he founded "The Hounds of Baskerville", the oldest Sherlock's fans society.
To come back on his poem, the 221B Baker Street, is probably as knowed as Sherlock and Watson, it's the adress where the duet live. If Baker Street existed in Conan Doyle's time, the 221B was fictional. I said was, because, nowadays, there is a 221B in Baker Street. In 239 Baker Street, there is the Sherlock Holmes Museum, who reconstitutes Sherlock Holmes's apartment such as he is described through the various adventures of the detective. To finish the reconstruction, the Sherlock Holmes Museum contains n°221B over the front door, instead of n°239 but the municipality close her eyes to this unnumbering. It's funny to notice that Starett use something concrete as an adress for title, and remember to the reader that the duet is fictional with sentences like "Who never lived and so can never die" or "And it is always eighteen ninety-five".

My last document is an advertising for the serie "Dr House".
I chose this document because there is(pluriel) many parralels between the two characters.
I think that we can see Dr House as a Sherlock Holmes rewriting.
First, there is the names "House" and "Holmes" which are enough similar, like the names of their closer friends, the doctors James Watson and James Wilson. Then we can notice common points in their personalities, they are bored when they do not work on a case, both are obsessed by a quest of verity und have an innate talent for the deduction. Both use drugs, Holmes smokes the pipe and uses cocain sometimes, House is addicted to medicine, Both are musicians to, House plays the piano and the guitar and Sherlock the violin. Furthermore their knowledge in their own preserve(?? sens?), medicine for one, investigations for the other seem to be offset by their ignorance in others preserves, indeed, in a study in scarlet, Watson notice that Holmes knows almost anything about literature, politics or astronomy. House can confuse(mistake ...for...) Coppernic and Gallilé.
To finish, some House's Patients have interesting names. Like his first one, miss Adler, who is in Sherlock's adventures, one of the most important woman that he meets or the man who shoot him with a gun called Jack "Moriarty".
And the last and the most important, their methodology: They proceed both by elimination to solve their "riddles".

To conclude, I think that, Sherlock Holmes is one of the greatest characters from the english literature as it showed by the miscellaneous and the numerous adaptations. We can even say that the character became mythical because the own of the myth is his capacity to be rewritten and reinterpreted
le propre du mythe "the own of the myth??" vous travaillez au traducteur ??



Réponse: Sherlock Holmes/ Correction de vanilius, postée le 30-05-2014 à 09:36:21 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour la correction.
Je voudrais juste revenir sur 2/3 petites choses pour être sur de ne pas avoir fait de non-sens.

and the author wanted to soften the death of the detective for the readers, by making Sherlock leave with an aura of the glory to have (for + ing)freed the world of so harmful a criminal as his previous investigations would have seemed pointless.(sens???)

ce que je voulais dire ici, c'est "[...]en faisant partir Sherlock avec une aura de gloire, pour avoir débarrasser le monde d'un criminel tellement nuisible que ses précédentes enquêtes sembleraient sans importances".

Ce que j'ai reformulé comme ça: => "[...] by making Sherlock leave with an aura of glory for having freed the world of so harmful a criminal that his previous investigations would seem useless."
Est-ce correct?

Furthermore their knowledge in their own preserve(?? sens?), medicine for one, investigations for the other seem to be offset by their ignorance in others preserves

=> Furthermore their knowledge in their own fields, medicine for one, investigations for the other seem to be offset by their ignorance in others fields

Ici, ce que je veux dire, c'est "dans leurs propres domaines".

We can even say that the character became mythical because the own of the myth is his capacity to be rewritten and reinterpreted
le propre du mythe "the own of the myth??" vous travaillez au traducteur ??

Non pas au traducteur, au dictionnaire et à la fatigue!

=> We can even say that the character became mythical because the most important characteristic of the myth is his capacity to be rewritten and reinterpreted.



Réponse: Sherlock Holmes/ Correction de gerondif, postée le 30-05-2014 à 16:17:11 (S | E)
Hello,

by making Sherlock leave with an aura of glory for freeing the world of so harmful a criminal(such a harmful criminal) than his previous investigations would seem useless (irrelevant)."

Furthermore their knowledge in their own field of expertise, medicine for one, investigations for the other seem to be offset by their ignorance in other fields.

=> Furthermore their knowledge in their own fields, medicine for one, investigations for the other seem to be offset by their ignorance in others fields

=> We can even say that the character became mythical because the most important characteristic of the myth is its capacity to be rewritten and reinterpreted.




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