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Ecriture d'invention/aide

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Ecriture d'invention/aide
Message de nte15 posté le 12-05-2014 à 15:44:24 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je voudrais avoir un avis sur les écritures d'invention suivantes s'il vous plaît.
Merci pour votre aide.


1 "after meeting alan brown simon writes to his mother in order to keep her informed. write his letter"
a) Oxford, 12th August
Dear Mum,
Just a quick note to let you know how I am getting on.
I've been really busy since I arrived four days ago. I've seen twenty-two dons, and with a bit of luck, I should receive confirmation that Worcester College is going to take me.
I've just met the Don, Alan Brown and he explained to me that some poor guy from Nottingham High School was supposed to read history there, but he died in a car accident a few weeks ago. So there's a vacancy in history. I know it's not exactly what I planned to read at Magdalen College, but I can choose politics, philosophy and economics as options, so I will still get to study what I wanted.
Mr Brown is presenting my dossier to his colleagues this evening and will give me a formal response tomorrow. I do hope it's affirmative. I couldn't bear not to come to Oxford, after trying so hard this week.
I'll phone you as soon as I know for sure.
Love
Simon


"simon has decided to run for president of the university's student union"
b) Fellow Students, I stand before you, in all humility, in all modesty, but with a great sense of commitment. I do not intend to tell you how wonderful I am, for that is not how I view the role of President. On the contrary, to prove you how good a President I can be, I intend to tell you how important it is for this Student Union to be correctly represented, so that the wonderful people that you are, can enjoy the best conditions possible to pursue your studies here in Oxford.
The Student Union represents the students in all the different meetings concerning university life. The President must be someone who is selfless, accessible, open-minded and a good communicator. It is important for all of you to feel that the person who represents your interests is really interested in defending you. That person is me!


2 "is it possible to reconcile your dreams with a professional life?"
a) Can people fulfil their dreams and occupy a professional position at the same time?
I would say that it all depends on the degree of compatibility between a person's dreams and their professional occupation. Quite often, children choose their first choice of profession in relation to their dreams: we all remember classmates who wanted to be fighter pilots or firemen, doctors or teachers. Some children will go on to fulfil these childhood dreams, but for others the dreams evolve and change.
Not everybody has dreams about their professional career. Some people are quite content to occupy an unexciting, but satisfying job in order to earn enough money to fulfil their dreams outside the sphere of work. In this case, their dream may be to travel to a particular place, or to buy luxury products or to offer themselves lessons in a professional racing car or such like.
In conclusion, dreams and professional life can go hand in hand, but it is by no means a generality, nor a necessity. It's a matter of personal choice.

"I once promised myself i would never work for money how easy is it to stick to such a decision?"
b) Is it possible to work without any financial incentive? In other words, to work simply for pleasure or another motive or to serve other people. Is it possible to only accept work that enables you to fulfil other more noble ambitions?
The problem is that we live in a capitalist society, in which the system of exchange is based on money. We need money to pay for accommodation, food and clothes. People receive money in return for work.
On the other hand, I think it is quite possible, if one's basic necessities are satisfied, to refuse work that is inconsistent with one's personal values. For example, a sales representative could refuse to sell a product that he knows is addictive. A scientist could refuse to develop a technique that could be used against humanity.
To conclude, everyone needs to earn a minimum salary to guarantee the basic necessities. But beyond that minimum salary, it is possible to work for other values than money.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 12-05-2014 15:59


Réponse: Ecriture d'invention/aide de gerondif, postée le 12-05-2014 à 17:18:29 (S | E)
Bonjour,
je vois fort peu d'erreurs!!
1 "after meeting alan brown simon writes to his mother in order to keep her informed. write his letter"
a) Oxford, 12th August
Dear Mum,
Just a quick note to let you know how I am getting on.
I've been really busy since I arrived four days ago. I've seen twenty-two dons, and with a bit of luck, I should receive confirmation that Worcester College is going to take me.
I've just met the Don, Alan Brown and he explained to me that some poor guy from Nottingham High School was supposed to read history there, but he died in a car accident a few weeks ago. So there's a vacancy in history. I know it's not exactly what I planned to read at Magdalen College, but I can choose politics, philosophy and economics as options, so I will still get to study what I wanted.
Mr Brown is presenting my dossier to his colleagues this evening and will give me a formal response tomorrow. I do hope it's affirmative. I couldn't bear not to come to Oxford, after trying so hard this week.
I'll phone you as soon as I know for sure.
Love
Simon


"simon has decided to run for president of the university's student union"
b) Fellow Students, I stand before you, in all humility, in all modesty, but with a great sense of commitment. I do not intend to tell you how wonderful I am, for that is not how I view the role of President. On the contrary, to prove you (to prove to you) how good a President I can be, I intend to tell you how important it is for this Student Union to be correctly represented, so that the wonderful people that you are, can enjoy the best conditions possible to pursue your studies here in Oxford.
The Student Union represents the students in all the different meetings concerning university life. The President must be someone who is selfless, accessible, open-minded and a good communicator. It is important for all of you to feel that the person who represents your interests is really interested in defending you. That person is me!


2 "is it possible to reconcile your dreams with a professional life?"
a) Can people fulfil their dreams and occupy a professional position at the same time?
I would say that it all depends on the degree of compatibility between a person's dreams and their professional occupation. Quite often, children choose their first choice of profession in relation to their dreams: we all remember classmates who wanted to be fighter pilots or firemen, doctors or teachers. Some children will go on to fulfil these childhood dreams, but for others the dreams evolve and change.
Not everybody has dreams about their professional career. Some people are quite content to occupy an unexciting, but satisfying job in order to earn enough money to fulfil their dreams outside the sphere of work. In this case, their dream may be to travel to a particular place, or to buy luxury products or to offer themselves (maladroit, to treat themselves to//to indulge in)lessons in a professional racing car or such like.
In conclusion, dreams and professional life can go hand in hand, but it is by no means a generality, nor a necessity. It's a matter of personal choice.

"I once promised myself i would never work for money how easy is it to stick to such a decision?"
b) Is it possible to work without any financial incentive? In other words, to work simply for pleasure or another motive or to serve other people. Is it possible to only accept work that enables you to fulfil other more noble ambitions?
The problem is that we live in a capitalist society, in which the system of exchange is based on money. We need money to pay for accommodation, food and clothes. People receive money in return for work.
On the other hand, I think it is quite possible, if one's basic necessities are satisfied, to refuse work that is inconsistent with one's personal values. For example, a sales representative could refuse to sell a product that he knows is addictive. A scientist could refuse to develop a technique that could be used against humanity.
To conclude, everyone needs to earn a minimum salary to guarantee the(soit rien soit his) basic necessities. But beyond that minimum salary, it is possible to work for other values than money.





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