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Aide /Bac

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Aide /Bac
Message de westbrook35 posté le 03-04-2014 à 19:20:04 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous
Je prépare mon oral de bac (dans une semaine) mais, n'étant pas un as en anglais j'aurais besoin d'aide pour corriger mon texte : fautes d'orthographe, de langue, de vocabulaire xxx.
Voilà tout, merci d'avance ! You are

Idea of progress
I am going to talk about the idea of progress. First of all, i would like to give a definition of this notion : the idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change- a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place. To illustrate this, I have chosen three documents, three pictures more exactly. First, a picture of a traditional family ( book p.82), then, a picture which results of "The modern family", a US TV series ( book p.85) and finally, "Dad cooks, Mom works" ( book p.85), a document who representates a young father who is doing the cleaning and taking care of his baby. I have chosen these documents because i want to talk about the evolution of the structure of families and I think they illustrate this evolution. How evolved the structure of family to nowday ?

The firs document represents a traditional nuclear family : a man, his wife and their two children. The man seems to have just come back at work, he is steal wearing his overcoat. He is making a cuddle to his children. The mother is a housewife, she looks like very happy by looking at the scene. I think this document is very interesting about this notion because he shows how in the past, the "perfect" family had so much stereotypes like the man who earn money with hard-working while his wife stay at home to cleaning and watch the children.

The second document represents three moderns families : two families normal and one gay couple with their baby. I chose this document because it is a very good example to the evolution of the family. 50 years ago, we could never seen a gay couple with a baby, and that shows the evolution of the family .

The third document represents a young dad who is doing the cleaning and taking care of the baby. We can supposed the mother was working during the dad takes care of the house. This documents is interesting too because it shows a contrast compared as the traditional family some years ago and the first document. It rejects the ideas of the family like : dad works and mom takes care of the baby. he shows the society evolved ant the families too.

These documents could also be linked to the notion of the idea of progress because they show how the structures of family progress, how the stereotypes about the role of the men and the women can change today, how the traditional family is not anymore actuality, for example the gay couple with their baby. The family evolved and I think it is a good think of the progress of the society because it contributes to making the world a better place and it is the goal of this notion. But if we can see a real progress into the sexs stereotypes and the homosexual couples, there still has many problems of inequalities in laws, in work..

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 03-04-2014 21:08


Réponse: Aide /Bac de here4u, postée le 04-04-2014 à 10:10:54 (S | E)
Hello westbrook !

Fisrt of all, when you wish some help for a correction, a clever step is to post a reasonably small part at a time (no more than 10 lines ...) You can say that there are 2 or 3 parts, but you'll have more help if you don't post a huge page at once which takes quite a long time to go over ... and proofread ...

I'll start with a part of it ... not enough time to do the whole thing now ...

THE Idea of progress (déterminé par of)
I am going to talk about the idea of progress. First of all, iI would like to give a definition of this notion : the idea of progress can be defined as an improvement, a development or a change- a technical, scientific or social advance which contributes to making the world a better place. To illustrate this, I have chosen three documents, three pictures more exactly. First, a picture of a traditional family ( book p.82), then, a picture which results of "The modern family", a US TV series ( book p.85) and finally, "Dad cooks, Mom works" ( book p.85), a document who(attention à la nature de l'antécédent : humain ou non humain ?) representates a young father who is doing the cleaning and taking care of his baby. I have chosen these documents because iI want to talk about the evolution of the structure of families all over the world and I think theythese pictures illustrate this evolution. How evolved(il faut un auxiliaire ...) the structure of the family from ????to nowadays ?(to our days )

The first document represents a traditional nuclear family : a man, his wife and their two children. The man seems to have just come back at (= provenance)work, he is steal(Grrrrr .... confusion entre to steal - verbe irrégulier et still = encore) wearing his overcoat. He is making a cuddle (cuddling ?)to his children. The mother is a housewife, she looks like very happy, by just ?looking at the scene. I think this document is very interesting about? it's focussing on ? this notion because he (Grrrrr!) shows how in the past, the "perfect" family had so much stereotypes like the man who earn (temps .... the breadwinning Dad)money with hard-workingà revoir while his wife tempsstay at home to cleaning and watch looking after the children.(phrase trop longur : à revoir)

Try to correct this part ... I'll try to go over the rest later ...Work well !



Réponse: Aide /Bac de kolimang, postée le 04-04-2014 à 11:57:55 (S | E)
Hello westbrook,

Here's my contribution to the correction of your text (the second part of it). This is just a start... I let someone else with more experience go deeper into the details.

The second document represents three moderns (les adjectifs sont toujours invariables en anglais) families : two families normal (place de l'adjectif) and one gay couple with their baby. I chose this document because it is a very good example to (autre préposition) the evolution of the family. 50 years ago, we could never seen (pas la bonne forme du verbe) a gay couple with a baby, and that shows the evolution of the family .

The third document represents a young dad who is doing the cleaning and taking care of the baby. We can supposed (autre forme) the mother was working during while the dad takes care of the house ( conjugaison : utilisez le même temps pour les verbes "work" et "take care of"). This documents is also interesting too because it shows a contrast compared as (seems too complex to me) contrasts with the traditional family some years ago and the first document. It rejects the ideas of the family like : dad works and mom takes care of the baby. he (mauvais pronom) shows the society evolved ant the families too.

These documents could also be linked to the notion of (repetition) the idea of progress because they show how the structures of family progress, how the stereotypes about the role of the men and the women can change today, how the traditional family is not anymore actuality (si vous voulez dire "n'est plus d'actualité", il va falloir changer de tournure : "actuality" ne veut pas dire "actualité"), for example the gay couple with their baby. The family evolved and I think it is a good think of the progress of the society because it contributes to making the world a better place and it is the goal of this notion. But if we can see a real progress into the sexs gender stereotypes and the homosexual couples, there still has many problems of inequalities in laws, in work.



Réponse: Aide /Bac de westbrook35, postée le 05-04-2014 à 10:52:41 (S | E)
Ok, thank you so much here4u and koolimang, you help me so much !





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