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Correction/ Essai

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/ Essai
Message de frenchygirly posté le 30-03-2014 à 10:58:24 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à toutes et à tous

Je dois écrire une rédaction de type "essay" pour mon devoir d'anglais. Le sujet est "Pourquoi choisit-on d'étudier à l'Université?". J'ai gribouillé quelques petites choses, je me suis re-lue plusieurs fois mais je crains qu'il y ait encore quelques erreurs. Je serais très reconnaissante si une âme charitable voulait bien me corriger....
Merci d'avance
Bonne fin de journée

According to « xxx », the number of students in world attending a University has increased of 15% during the five last years. The datas shows perfectly that nowadays more and more students go to University. It can be very interesting to analyze why people go more and more to University. For me there are three reasons : garanteeing a job, pressure put by families and more rare, the passion of learning.

First of all, I think people go to University in other to guarantee a job . Indeed they often think about the job and the high wage they can earn in order to have a comfortable lifestyle and to provide themselves.  They don't study for pleasure but only for making money in the future. They want to reach a high social statut, to have lots of money and they want to say « Look, I am rich ».

An other reason explainning why people attend University is the pressure put by their families. In my opinion, lots of people don't chose to go to University. I know lots of people who wanted to do something different after hight school such as travelling, working or they have others plans in their mind. Unfortunatelly, we live in a society where everybody don't do what they want, but what other people say them to do. Student's parents are bothered about what friends and relatives would think if their children don't attent University. They only want what’s best for their children but what they think is best is not always the case.

« I'm a man of leisure. That's because I have an English degree and I can't get a job » sais Jarol Kintz, a famous American author. Like him, there are some people attending University for learning. These people doesn't study for money and doesn't care about a high social statut, they have just one purpose in life : learning and dying less stupid. I have a great admiration for these people because they don't study for obligation ; but because they want it ; Like Shelly Foote said, for them University is a « group of building gathered around a library ».

(Conclusion que je n'ai pas encore écrite )

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-03-2014 14:26


Réponse: Correction/ Essai de bluestar, postée le 30-03-2014 à 16:29:00 (S | E)
Bonjour...quelques suggestions..erreurs sont en bleu

According to « xxx », the number of students in the world attending a University has increased of 15% during the five last (ordre) years. The datas shows perfectly that nowadays more and more students go to University. It can be very interesting to analyze why people go more and more to University. For me there are three reasons : guaranteeing a job, pressure put by families and more rare, the passion of for learning.

First of all, I think people go to University in other to guarantee a job . Indeed they often think about the job and the high wage they can earn in order to have a comfortable lifestyle and to provide (prep.manq.) themselves. They don't study for pleasure but only for making (utiliser l'infinitif) money in the future. They want to reach a high social statuts, to have lots of money and they want to say « Look, I am rich ».

An other Another (un mot) reason explainning why people attend University is the pressure put by their families. In my opinion, lots of people don't chose (orth.?) to go to University. I know lots of people who wanted to do something different after hight school such as travelling, working or they have (temps?) others plans in their mind. Unfortunatelly, we live in a society where everybody don't do what they want, but what other people say (un autre verbe) them to do. Students's parents are bothered about what friends and relatives would think if their children don't attent University. They only want what’s best for their children but what they think is best is not always the case.

« I'm a man of leisure. That's because I have an English degree and I can't get a job » sais(orth?) Jarol Kintz, a famous American author. Like him, there are some people attending University for learning . These people doesn't study for money and doesn't care about a high social statut status, they have just one purpose in life : learning and dying less stupid.(utiliser l'infinitifs ici) I have a great admiration for these people because they don't study for from obligation ; but because they want it ; Like Shelbly Foote said, for them University is a « group of building (pluriel) gathered around a library ».






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