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Correction/Voyages

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/Voyages
Message de egshop posté le 17-03-2014 à 01:11:37 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir à tous,

Je me tourne vers vous car je sollicite votre aide. Pourriez-vous m'aider à corriger mon exercice d'anglais ?
Merci d'avance. Bonne soirée.

Sujet :
"Travel broadens the mind", as the saying goes. Do you think that the more you travel the more open-minded you become ?

For a very long time and especially nowadays with the improvement of the means of transport, people have worldwide travelled a lot. Thus, they have discovered many foreign countries which have influenced them. Indeed, going abroad broadens the mind (even though that is not always the case)

Being confronted with new populations and new habits and customs is very enriching for several main reasons. First of all, theses meetings permit the travelers to develop their knowledge : for example, the natives can teach them speaking an other language and cooking others dishes. Moreover, the exotic trips often have a “mirror effect” : they make us ponder our societies and our mentalities. Thus, when western persons visit an African region, they put into perspective their own difficulties. In the same way, they usually change their point of view about foreign people and become more tolerant (especially if they live in a country where there are racial and social inequalities). Lastly, they can call into question their way of life which sometimes doesn’t respect the nature (unlike some of native ones). As a result, it could say that the more you travel the more open-minded you become…

Still, it is not always true ! Actually to be enriched, the travelers must most of the time go off the beaten track to get acquainted with local people. Consequently, if they sunbath or get a tan on a tropical beach, they will keep the same frame of mind.

Take trips is so a pleasant means of becoming more open-minded provided the travelers are curious.


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Modifié par lucile83 le 17-03-2014 08:25


Réponse: Correction/Voyages de gerondif, postée le 17-03-2014 à 15:32:06 (S | E)
Bonjour,

For a very long time and especially nowadays with the improvement of the means of transportation, people have worldwide(à placer en fin de phrase: all over the world me parait plus "géographique") travelled a lot. Thus, they have discovered many foreign countries which have influenced them. Indeed, going abroad broadens the mind (even though that is not always the case)

Being confronted with new populations and new habits and customs is very enriching for several main reasons. First of all, theses meetings permit(sonne français) the travelers to develop their knowledge : for example, the natives can teach them speaking(infinitif complet) an other language and cooking others(adj invariable) dishes. Moreover, the exotic trips often have a “mirror effect” : they make us ponder over our societies and our mentalities. Thus, when western persons(people est plus courant) visit an African region, they put their own difficulties into perspective . In the same way, they usually change their point of view about foreign people and become more tolerant (especially if they live in a country where there are racial and social inequalities). Lastly, they can call into question their way of life which sometimes doesn’t respect the nature (unlike some of native ones(maladroit)). As a result, it could say(revoir la traduction de "on") that the more you travel the more open-minded you become…

Still, it is not always true ! Actually, to be enriched, the travelers must most of the time go off the beaten track to get acquainted with local people. Consequently, if they sunbathe or get a tan on a tropical beach, they will keep the same frame of mind.

So Take(gérondif) trips is a pleasant means of becoming more open-minded provided the travelers are curious.

Vous avez tendance à planter vos adverbes à la française, entre le sujet et le verbe, et c'est maladroit.




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