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Correction/Places and forms of power

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/Places and forms of power
Message de marielh posté le 16-02-2014 à 15:13:21 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
que pensez-vous s'il vous plaît de mon oral sur la notion de "places and forms of power" in South Africa ?
Merci pour vos réponses !!

I am going to talk about the notion of places and forms of power. First, I would like to give a definition of power. Power is is the ability to control others and to make things happen despite obstacles, resistance, or opposition. This of course leads to conflict between those who have and exercise power and those who have none or little of it. As a consequence, the exercice of power within a community requires that its members accept a complex system of laws and respect symbols such as specifics places especially court, parliament and prison. To illustrate this notion, I have chosen to focus on South African places and forms of power. How can people from different cultures live together in harmony ? First I will show how apartheid was put in place and I will highlight the opposition of this forms of power. Eventually, I will related the burying of apartheid and the difficult creation of an harmonious nation in spite of different cultures.
First, we studied the establishment of Apartheid in south Africa. It was set by the National Party, which won the election in 1948. It led to a brutally codified segregation where Blacks, Asians, Coloured persons and Whites were separated. Many Afrikans, who did not work for white people where packed in Bantustans, which were poorly equipped and were far away from the major cities. Those who worked for Whites had to leave in townships such as Soweto and needed passbooks to get into “white cities”. This law aimed at creating a separate nationhood.
Moreover we interpreted a picture taken in the 1960s where black South Africans are burning their passbooks, which have come to represent white domination and seems relieved as if they were regaining their freedom. By the same token, a demonstration in Sharpeville where people protested against passbooks and for increase of their incomes, turn into a slaughter. Indeed 69 black persons were killed so that Sharpeville began a symbol of the unfair white power. Nelson Mandela, which represent a counter power because he struggled tireless for egalitarianism, was put in jail and regarded as a political prisoner.
When Mandela walked out of jail and became the first democratically elected president in 1994, he aimed at building a new South Africa that would be democratic, non racist and non-sexist. He wrote a new constitution which claims the recognition of black people’s rights and set Truth and Reconciliation Commission which highlights his insistence on forgiveness over vengeance and his will to create a unified Rainbow Nation. Since his mandate, a black middle-class have been emerging. Besides politics is no longer the preserve of the whites.
To conclude, people from different cultures can nowadays live together in harmony thanks to a long and painful fight for equality leading by honorable persons. It is true that there have been major political and social advances in South Africa however it still remains problems about both corruption and fraud. Furthermore economic power is still unequally distributed, it still exists a widening gap between the rich and the poor as we could see in the district of Cape town area.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 16-02-2014 15:45


Réponse: Correction/Places and forms of power de gerondif, postée le 17-02-2014 à 17:57:32 (S | E)
Bonjour,
bon niveau d'anglais, avec des erreurs basiques (live et leaves, participe présents passés...)
rouge ou bleu: erreurs
vert: corrections
I am going to talk about the notion of places and forms of power. First, I would like to give a definition of power. Power is is the ability to control others and to make things happen despite obstacles, resistance, or opposition. This of course leads to conflict between those who have and exercise power and those who have none or little of it. As a consequence, the exercice of power within a community requires that its members accept a complex system of laws and respect symbols such as specifics(adj invariable) places especially court, parliament and prison. To illustrate this notion, I have chosen to focus on South African places and forms of power. How can people from different cultures live together in harmony ? First I will show how apartheid was put in place and I will highlight the opposition of this forms of power. Eventually, I will related the burying of apartheid and the difficult creation of an harmonious nation in spite of different cultures.
First, we studied the establishment of Apartheid in south Africa. It was set by the National Party, which won the election in 1948. It led to a brutally codified segregation where Blacks, Asians, Coloured persons(people) and Whites were separated. Many Afrikans, who did not work for white people where packed in Bantustans, which were poorly equipped and were far away from the major cities. Those who worked for Whites had to leave in townships such as Soweto and needed passbooks to get into “white cities”. This law aimed at creating a separate nationhood.
Moreover we interpreted a picture taken in the 1960s(1960's) where black South Africans are burning their passbooks, which have come to represent white domination and seems(pluriel donc pas de s) relieved as if they were regaining their freedom. By the same token, a demonstration in Sharpeville where people protested against passbooks and for an increase of their incomes, turned into a slaughter. Indeed 69 black persons were killed so that Sharpeville began(confusion entre became et began) a symbol of the unfair white power. Nelson Mandela, which represented a counter power because he struggled tireless(est un adjectif, il faut un adverbe) for egalitarianism, was put in jail and regarded as a political prisoner.
When Mandela walked out of jail and became the first democratically elected president in 1994, he aimed at building a new South Africa that would be democratic, non racist and non-sexist. He wrote a new constitution which claims the recognition of black people’s rights and set Truth and Reconciliation Commission which highlights his insistence on forgiveness over vengeance and his will to create a unified Rainbow Nation. Since his mandate, a black middle-class have(ou has) been emerging. Besides, politics is no longer the preserve of the whites.
To conclude, people from different cultures can nowadays live together in harmony thanks to a long and painful fight for equality leading(il faut un participe passé) by honorable persons. It is true that there have been major political and social advances in South Africa, however it still remains (structure française)problems about both corruption and fraud. Furthermore (Moreover) economic power is still unequally distributed, it still exists (structure française)a widening gap between the rich and the poor as we could see in the district of Cape town area.



Réponse: Correction/Places and forms of power de marielh, postée le 22-02-2014 à 11:43:23 (S | E)
Bonjour,

Pouvez-vous corriger ce texte modifié s'il vous plaît?


I am going to talk about the notion of places and forms of power. First, I would like to give a definition of power. Power is is the ability to control others and to make things happen despite obstacles, resistance, or opposition. This of course leads to conflict between those who have and exercise power and those who have none or little of it. As a consequence, the exercice of power within a community requires that its members accept a complex system of laws and respect symbols such as specific places especially court, parliament and prison. To illustrate this notion, I have chosen to focus on South African places and forms of power. How can people from different cultures live together in harmony ? First I will show how apartheid was put in place and I will highlight the opposition of this forms of power. Eventually, I will relate the burying of apartheid and the difficult creation of an harmonious nation in spite of different cultures.
We began bu studying the establishment of Apartheid in South Africa. It was set by the National Party, which won the election in 1948. It led to a brutally codified segregation between Blacks, Asians, Coloured people and Whites who took advantage of the formers. Many Afrikans, who did not work for white people where packed in Bantustans, which were poorly equipped and were far away from the major cities ; while those who worked for Whites had to leave in townships such as Soweto and needed passbooks to get into “white cities”. This law aimed at creating a separate nationhood.
Moreover we interpreted a picture taken in the 1960') where black South Africans are burning their passbooks, which have come to represent white domination and seem relieved as if they were regaining their freedom. By the same token, a demonstration in Sharpeville where people protested against passbooks and for an increase of their incomes, turned into a slaughter. Indeed 69 black persons were killed so that Sharpeville became a symbol of the unfair white power. Nelson Mandela, which represented a counter power because he struggled tirelessly for egalitarianism, was put in jail and regarded as a political prisoner.
When Mandela walked out of jail and became the first democratically elected president in 1994, he aimed at building a new South Africa that would be democratic, non racist and non-sexist. As well as writting a new constitution which proclaims the recognition of black people’s rights, he and set Truth and Reconciliation Commission. He forsteredn forgiveness over vengeance and his will to create a unified and harmonious Rainbow Nation. Since his mandate, a black middle-class has been emerging. Besides, politics is no longer the preserve of the whites.
To conclude, people from different cultures can nowadays live together in harmony thanks to a long and painful fight for equality led by honorable persons. It is true that there have been major political and social advances in South Africa, however issues about both corruption and fraud are lasted. Furthermore economic power is still unequally distributed,a widening gap between the rich and the poor is still observable as we could see in the district of Cape town area.

Qu'en pensez vous ? Contenu et forme ?
Merci beaucoup pour vos réponses !

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 22-02-2014 12:32
Nouveau topic fusionné avec l'ancien.




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