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Correction/childhood

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/childhood
Message de camay76 posté le 16-11-2012 à 22:58:48 (S | E | F)
Hello everybody,

I wrote a text about childhood and I want would like to know what are my mistakes are and how to correct them.
Can you correct my mistakes please?
I need your help.

"I agree with the statement which says that a person’s childhood years are the most important years of a person’s life for several reasons. First, I think these first years of life, for a human, are the most important at all because they form the future personality and nature of the person. It’s proved if a person has a perturbing childhood, he will have a good chance of having psychological problems. I would like to take as example the situation of a lot of criminal. After investigation, most of the time, specialists discover that the murder or the criminal had a lot of problem during his childhood. In my opinion, it’s not a hazard. Furthermore, sometimes I talk about this subject with my sister or my girlfriend to have a concrete example and to be sure that information at TV is true. I speak with them because my sister is a special need worker so she is in contact with people who have trouble and my girlfriend studies the social science to become social helper to try to find a solution for people in trouble. So they know very well this subject and they already said to me that the childhood is the most important period in the person’s life.
In my opinion, you build your personality each days thanks to experiences you have and thanks to the problem you overcome but a part of you can be influenced by bad experiences you live and earlier they arise, stronger they are."

Thanks for your answers.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 16-11-2012 23:05


Réponse: Correction/childhood de bluestar, postée le 16-11-2012 à 23:23:42 (S | E)
Hello,

I agree with the statement which says that a person’s childhood years are the most important years of a person’s life for several reasons. First, I think these first years of life, for a human (superflu), are the most important at of all because they form the future personality and nature of the person. It’s (temps?) proved if a person has a perturbing disturbed childhood, he will have a good chance of having psychological problems in later life. I would like to take as example the situation of a lot of criminals. After investigation, most of the time, specialists discover that the murderer or the criminal had a lot of problems during his childhood. In my opinion, it’s not a hazard (coincidence?). Furthermore, sometimes I talk about this subject with my sister or my girlfriend to have a concrete example and to be sure that information at from the TV is true. I speak with them because my sister is a special needs worker so she is in contact with people who have trouble and my girlfriend studies the social science to become a social helper(worker?) to try to find a solution for people in trouble. So they know very well this subject (ordre de mots)and they already said to me that the childhood is the most important period in the a person’s life.
In my opinion, you build your personality each days from the thanks to experiences you have and thanks to the problems you overcome but a part of you can be influenced by the bad experiences you live have had and the earlier they arise occur,the stronger they are."



Réponse: Correction/childhood de camay76, postée le 17-11-2012 à 10:10:48 (S | E)
Thank you,
I see I have a lot of mistakes in my essay but I don't understand some of your corrections very well. Can you give me precisions about them please?

I agree with the statement which says that a person’s childhood years are the most important years of a person’s life for several reasons. First, I think these first years of life, are the most important of all because they form the future personality and nature of the person. It has been proved if a person has a disturbed childhood, he will have a good chance of having psychological problems in later life. I would like to take as example the situation of a lot of criminals. After investigation, most of the time, specialists discover that the murderer or the criminal had a lot of problems during his childhood. Furthermore, sometimes I talk about this subject with my sister or my girlfriend to have a concrete example and to be sure that information from the (1) TV is (2) true. I speak with them because my sister is a special needs worker so she is in contact with people who have trouble and my girlfriend studies the (3) social science to become a social worker to try to find a solution for people in trouble. So they know this subject very well and they already said to me that childhood is the most important period in a person’s life.
In my opinion, you build your personality each day from the (4) experiences you have and the (5) problems you overcome but a part of you can be influenced by the (6) bad experiences you have had and the earlier they occur, the stronger they are.

(1) the : It's not the "TV" in general?
(2) is : I just want to be sure that it's not "are" because it's information (les informations).
(3) the : Social science is the general term so I don't understand why you put the?
(4) (5) (6) the : Why do you put the before experiences, problems and bad experiences?(it's plurial)

Thanks a lot

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Modifié par lucile83 le 17-11-2012 11:48



Réponse: Correction/childhood de bluestar, postée le 17-11-2012 à 11:41:13 (S | E)
Bonjour..

It's a very well-written essay. On the points you have raised:

(1) You could say "from TV" here. I prefer "from the TV" as it sounds better to me.
(2) "Information" is singulier so "is" is correct and "are" would be wrong.
(3) In the original text you have written "my girlfriend studies the social science"..I highlighted "the" in red to indicate it should be omitted. (I didn't put it there; you did)
(4) I put "the" before experiences to indicate that only certain experiences and not all experiences, will shape the personality. "The" means specific experiences.
(5) I didn't put "the" before "problem", you did. Here is your text:..."thanks to the problem you overcome". "The" is correct here, but the plural was needed.
(6) "Bad experiences", you could put "the" in front of this phrase or leave it out if you preferred. Either would be correct, in my view. I prefer it in as it puts the focus on specific bad experiences.

I hope this is of some help. I'm sure there is more information on the use of the definite article on the site.

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Modifié par bluestar le 17-11-2012 11:41



Réponse: Correction/childhood de camay76, postée le 17-11-2012 à 12:56:17 (S | E)
Thanks for all these explanations and for your reactivity.

Have a nice day

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Modifié par lucile83 le 17-11-2012 13:58




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