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Obésité aux USA /correction

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Obésité aux USA /correction
Message de mickaelevr posté le 05-01-2012 à 00:20:13 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

j'aimerais que quelqu'un m'aide s'il vous plaît et m'indique si mon texte comporte des fautes.
Je vous remercie d'avance.
Bonne soirée.

American population has big weight problem, indeed recent Statistics show steep increases in adult obesity in the last four years. Owing to this problem, cases of Type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure that health experts have long warned be are becoming increasingly widespread. For example, Coloradans, with an obese population of 19.8% is the only state with an adult obesity rate below 20%.

Over the past three decades, childhood obesity rates in America have tripled. Now nearly one in three children are overweight or obese. One third of all children born in 2000 or later will suffer from diabetes at some point in their lives; many others will face chronic obesity-related health problems like heart disease, high blood pressure, cancer, and asthma. That's why, Michelle Obama wants solving the challenge of childhood obesity within a generation so that children born today will reach adulthood at a healthy weight. Thus she unveiled a nationwide campaign that name is Let’s Move. Many personality or politic sustain this Michelle Obama project.

What will it take to get Americans to change our eating habits? Experts increasingly recommend a diet high in plants and low in animal products and processed foods, quite the opposite of American population. Now the food industry wants to make a profit, and this food bad for health is the most profitable! Thus it is necessary to introduce additional taxes on soft drinks (40% of 300 calories excessive consumed by Americans on average are caused by drink!), on chips, on the Doughnut, etc. A recent study put the health care costs of obesity-related diseases at $147 billion per year with inconsequential during the current struggle over deficits and spending not hundreds of billions of dollars in health care costs. To introduce additional taxes this would make progress on a half-dozen problems at once: disease, budget, health care, environment, food access and more. The benefits are staggering, and though it would take a level of political will that’s rarely seen before the action of Michelle Obama and public health is the role of the government.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 05-01-2012 07:27


Réponse: Obésité aux USA /correction de mickaelevr, postée le 06-01-2012 à 16:27:13 (S | E)
Help me please !



Réponse: Obésité aux USA /correction de notrepere, postée le 06-01-2012 à 19:28:28 (S | E)
Bonjour En général, votre texte est bon.

The American population has a big weight problem. Indeed recent Statistics show steep increases in adult obesity in the last four years. Owing to this problem, cases of Type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure, which health experts have long warned about, be are becoming increasingly widespread. For example, Colorado, with an obese population of 19.8%, is the only state with an adult obesity rate below 20%.

Over the past three decades, childhood obesity rates in America have tripled. Now nearly one in three children are overweight or obese. One third of all children born in 2000 or later will suffer from diabetes at some point in their lives; many others will face chronic obesity-related health problems like heart disease, high blood pressure, cancer, and asthma. That's why, Michelle Obama wants solving (to + infinitif) the challenge of childhood obesity within a generation so that children born today will reach adulthood at a healthy weight. Thus she unveiled a nationwide campaign that whose name is Let’s Move. Many personality or politic sustain this Michelle Obama project.

What will it take to get Americans to change our eating habits? Experts increasingly recommend a diet high in plant foods and low in animal products and processed foods, quite the opposite of the American population. Now the food industry wants to make a profit, and this food bad for health is the most profitable! Thus it is necessary to introduce additional taxes on soft drinks (40% of 300 calories excessive consumed by Americans on average are caused by drink!), on chips, on the Doughnuts, etc. A recent study put the health care costs of obesity-related diseases at $147 billion per year with inconsequential during the current struggle over deficits and spending not hundreds of billions of dollars in health care costs. To introduce (gérondif=verbe + ing) additional taxes this would make progress towards a half-dozen problems at once: disease, budget, health care, environment, food access and more. The benefits are staggering, and though it would take a level of political will that’s rarely been seen before the action of Michelle Obama and public health is the role of the government.






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