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Correction/dream for region

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/dream for region
Message de benchada posté le 01-09-2011 à 17:28:43 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tout le monde,

Voilà un essai, j'aimerais bien que vous le corrigiez s'il vous plaît.
Merci d'avance.

===========

After a long hard road, here I am a student in AUC. Being a student in whatever university, and having the will to gain knowledge is definitely not just for ourselves, our improvement, our development and our growth; but it’s also for many others.
During the long path that we passed to reach this point, many gave us a hand of help, many supported us, many were there when we needed them, and now it’s time to give back.
Our countries are putting all their hope on us, that’s why, I will do my best here in the university in order to improve my community, in order to develop our economy, in order to better our education system and in order to have a better style of life for all citizens alike.
It’s our duty to make our country a better country, it’s our duty to make our nation, a nation that stands out among all other nations! I commit myself that I won’t hide any little effort in the seek of making this dream comes true!

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 01-09-2011 18:34


Réponse: Correction/dream for region de benchada, postée le 03-09-2011 à 20:14:19 (S | E)
Pas de réponse???



Réponse: Correction/dream for region de notrepere, postée le 03-09-2011 à 21:20:33 (S | E)
Hello, not too many errors, just too much repetition in some places. Are you making a speech?

After a long hard road, here I am a student in AUC. Being a student in whatever university, and having the will to gain knowledge is definitely not just for ourselves, our improvement, our development and our growth; but it’s also for many others.
During the long path that we passed (1) to reach this point, many gave us a hand of help, many supported us, many were there when we needed them, and now it’s time to give back.
Our countries are putting all their hope on us, that’s why, I will do my best here in the university in order to improve my community, in order to develop our economy, in order to better our education system and in order to have a better style of life standard of living for all citizens alike.
It’s our duty to make our country a better country, it’s our duty to make our nation, a nation that stands out among all other nations! I commit myself that I won’t not to hide (2) any little effort in the seek of making this dream come true!

(1) Tournure de phrase
(2) un autre verbe

-------------------
Modifié par notrepere le 03-09-2011 21:21




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