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Cartoon/correction

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Cartoon/correction
Message de kathleen55 posté le 30-04-2011 à 08:19:12 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

je dois préparer un commentaire de cartoon à l'oral.
Pouvez-vous me dire s'il vous plaît si j'ai des erreurs?
Merci pour vos réponses.

This document is a cartoon from the English newspaper « The times », which was drawn by Peter Brooks and which was published the 16th of January 2010.
It is made up of three pictures which actually shows three steps : the first one is called « Haiti pre-quake » ,we can see a skinny Haitian boy in the foreground, he's wearing a red short and looks sad, He'swith his arms folded and we are able to see his ribs so we can deduce he's victim of malnutrition. Next to him there's an old tire, a can,some stones and a dog who is sniffing on the ground. In the middle distance there's what seems to be a small house , there's also some washing hung out on the house front and some stones on the roof which seems flimsy.
On the left we can find what seems to be a red door thus we are able to imagine that it was the door's house. At the doorway there's a man who is wearing a red cap, a white shirt a brown short and a pair of flip-flops. He looks serious as the little boy who looks at him, we can think they are the father and the little brother of the boy in the foregound.
In the background there's a palm tree and what seems to be ither trees,
The second picture called 'Haiti post-quake » shows the same place that the fist picture, nevertheless the house falled in because of the earthquake, there're only ruins.
Moreover, we can see a hand outstrip of the rubble, it's certainly one of the three characters. Furthermore we notice that the palm tree in the background is leaning, he must have benn hit by the earthquake as the other trees which we can see some leaves re missing sinc we see branches,
As for the third picture called « haiti reconstruction »,it's exactly the same as the first one,
Actually the cartoonist wants denounce the incompetence of the Haitian governement which did anything to fix the situation. Indeed, Haiti was already a poor country and in spite of the financial help of the other country to rebuild it, Haitian people are always in need, hence we might wonder what did the Haitian governement with all the money ? We'll probably never know

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-04-2011 08:23


Réponse: Cartoon/correction de hayleywilliams, postée le 30-04-2011 à 11:47:23 (S | E)
Bonjour,

A votre place, j'aurais fais ceci :


This document is a cartoon from the English newspaper « The times », which was drawn by Peter Brooks and which was published the 16th of January 2010.
It is made up of three pictures which actually shows three steps : the first one is called « Haiti pre-quake » ,we can see a skinny Haitian boy in the foreground, he's wearing a red short and looks sad, He swith his arms folded and we are able to (On peut dire aussi We can see ) see his ribs so we can deduce that he's victim of malnutrition. Next to him there's an old tire, a can,some stones and a dog who is sniffing on the ground. In the middle distance there's what seems to be a small house , there's also some washing hung out on the house front and some stones on the roof which seems flimsy.
On the left we can find what seems to be a red door thus we are able (Là aussi je préfère can ) to imagine that it was the door's house House's door ou Door of the house. At the doorway there's a man who is wearing a red cap, a white shirt a brown short and a pair of flip-flops. He looks serious as the little boy who looks at him, we can think (On peux penser ? ou on peux déduire ? Je préfère we can deduce ) they are the father and the little brother of the boy in the foregound.
In the background there's a palm tree and what seems to be ither trees,
The second picture called 'Haiti post-quake » shows the same place that the fist picture, nevertheless the house falled in because of the earthquake, there're only ruins.
Moreover, we can see a hand outstrip of the rubble, it's certainly one of the three characters. Furthermore we notice that the palm tree in the background is leaning, he must have been (Faute d'orthographe, Been et non pas benn) hit by the earthquake as the other trees which we can see some leaves re missing sinc we see branches,
As for the third picture called « haiti reconstruction »,it's exactly the same as the first one,
Actually the cartoonist wants denounce the incompetence of the Haitian governement who did anything to fix the situation. Indeed, Haiti was already a poor country and in spite of the financial help of the other country to rebuild it, Haitian people are always in need, hence we might wonder what did the Haitian governement with all the money ? We'll probably never know.

Je suis arrivé à ça, après faudrais peut-être une petite vérification ?




Réponse: Cartoon/correction de kathleen55, postée le 30-04-2011 à 14:48:32 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup, voilà ma correction :

This document is a cartoon from the English newspaper « The times », which was drawn by Peter Brooks and which was published the 16th of January 2010.
It is made up of three pictures which actually shows three steps : the first one is called « Haiti pre-quake » ,we can see a skinny Haitian boy in the foreground, he's wearing a red short and looks sad. He's with his arms folded and we can see his ribs so we can deduce he's victim of malnutrition. Next to him there are an old tire, a can,some stones and a dog which is sniffing on the ground. In the middle distance there's what seems to be a small house , there's also some washing hung out on the house front and some stones on the roof which seems flimsy.
On the left we can find what seems to be a red door thus we can imagine that it was the house's door. At the doorway there's a man who is wearing a red cap, a white shirt, a brown short and a pair of flip-flops. He looks as serious as the little boy who looks at him, we can deduce they are the father and the little brother of the boy in the foregound.
In the background there's a palm tree and what seems to be other trees.
The second picture called "Haiti post-quake" shows the same place as the fist picture, nevertheless the house falled in because of the earthquake, there're only ruins.
Moreover, we can see a hand emerging from the rubble, it's certainly one of the three characters. Furthermore we notice that the palm tree in the background is leaning, it must have been hit by the earthquake as the other trees which we can see some leaves are missing since we see branches.
As for the third picture called « Haiti reconstruction »,it's exactly the same as the first one.
Actually the cartoonist wants to denounce the incompetence of the Haitian governement which did nothing to fix the situation. Indeed, Haiti was already a poor country and in spite of the financial help of the other countries to rebuild it, Haitian people are always in need, hence we might wonder what did the Haitian governement with all the money ? We'll probably never know.

-------------------



Réponse: Cartoon/correction de aneth-estragon, postée le 30-04-2011 à 15:30:32 (S | E)
Bonjour, ça a déjà bien avancé !

This document is a cartoon from the English
newspaper « The times », which was drawn by Peter Brooks and which was (correction déjà donnée par Hayleywilliams)
published the 16th of January 2010.


It is made up of three pictures which actually shows accord three steps : the
first one is called « Haiti pre-quake » ,we can see a skinny Haitian boy
in the foreground, he's wearing a red short (shorts est pluriel) and looks sad. He's with
his arms are folded and we can see his ribs so we can deduce he's victim of suffers from
malnutrition. Next to him there are an old tire, a can,some stones and a
dog which is sniffing on the ground. In the middle distance there's
what seems to be a small house (a cabin ? sans voir l'image, difficile de dire) , there's also some washing hung hanging out on
the house front and some stones on the roof which seems flimsy.

On the left we can find what seems to be a red door thus we can imagine
that it was is the house's door door of the house. At in the doorway there's a man who is
wearing a red cap, a white shirt, a brown shorts and a pair of
flip-flops. He looks as serious as the little boy who looks is looking at him, we
can deduce they are the father and the little brother of the boy in the
foregound
. je dirais : the other boy's father and younger brother

In the background there's a palm tree and what seems to be other trees.

The second picture called 'Haiti post-quake' shows the same place as
the first picture, nevertheless the house falled has fallen in because of the
earthquake, there're only ruins left.

Moreover, we can see a hand emerging from the rubble, it's certainly one
of the three characters. Furthermore we notice that the palm tree in
the background is leaning, it must have been hit by the earthquake as
the other trees which we can see some leaves are missing since we see
branches. Oops ! Surtout si c'est la préparation pour un oral, ne vous embarrassez pas de phrases aussi complexes. Commencez une nouvelle phrase par, par exemple 'We can see that those too...'


As for the third picture called « Haiti reconstruction »,it's exactly the same as the first one.

Actually the cartoonist wants to denounce the incompetence of the
Haitian governement which did nothing to fix the situation. Indeed,
Haiti was already a poor country and in spite of the financial help of
the other countries to rebuild it, Haitian people are always still in need,
hence we might (le présent irait très bien) wonder what did the Haitian governement : pas d'inversion du sujet ici with all the
money ? We'll probably never know.






Réponse: Cartoon/correction de kathleen55, postée le 30-04-2011 à 22:33:51 (S | E)
Merci encore, voilà ma correction en espérant n'avoir oublié aucune faute :

This document is a cartoon from the English newspaper « The times », which was drawn by Peter Brooks and published the 16th of January 2010. It is made up of three pictures which actually show  three steps : the 
first one is called « Haiti pre-quake » ,we can see a skinny Haitian boy in the foreground, he's wearing red shorts and looks sad.
His arms are folded and we can see his ribs so we can deduce he suffers from malnutrition. Next to him there are an old tire, a can,some stones and a dog sniffing the ground. In the middle distance there's what seems to be a small house (c'est une petite maison en brique mais fissuré), there's also some washing hanging out on the house front and some stones on the roof which seems flimsy.
On the left we can find what seems to be a red door thus we can imagine that it is the  door of the house.In the doorway there's a man 
wearing a red cap, a white shirt, brown shorts and a pair of 
flip-flops. He looks as serious as the little boy who  is looking at him, we can deduce they are the other boy's father and younger brother.
In the background there's a palm tree and what seems to be other trees.The second picture called 'Haiti post-quake' shows the same place as 
the first picture, nevertheless the house has fallen in because of the earthquake, there're only ruins left.
Moreover, we can see a hand emerging from the rubble, it's certainly one of the three characters. Furthermore we notice that the palm tree in 
the background is leaning, it must have been hit by the earthquake as the other trees.We can see that those too have been damaged.
As for the third picture called « Haiti reconstruction »,it's exactly the same as the first one.
Actually the cartoonist wants to denounce the incompetence of the Haitian governement which did nothing to fix the situation. Indeed, 
Haiti was already a poor country and in spite of the financial help of the other countries to rebuild it, Haitian people are still in need, 
hence we may wonder what the Haitian governement did with all the money ? We'll probably never know .




-------------------
Modifié par kathleen55 le 02-05-2011 20:23






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