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Correction/coast of Africa

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/coast of Africa
Message de cocktail posté le 30-04-2011 à 02:50:26 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

Pourriez-vous s'il vous plaît corriger mon texte, tiré d'un exercice sur l'histoire de Baaba Djibo, du début de son esclavage à son arrivé au bateau négrier.
Merci d'avance !!!!

If you are reading this story that mean I'm free once again, or I'm seriously injured by white settlers. But first of all let me tell you my story.
My name is baaba Djibo, I was born on the west coast of Africa in Senegal, a beautiful country where nature, animals and humans live in harmony.

One day in June, 1837
In savanna, I was busy with my cattle, when suddenly I heard severals desperates cries from my tribe.
So I run back to my village fastest as I could, using my secret path to saw what's happened.
once arrived, I were grabbed by surprise and threw down by some men, probably members of a rival tribe.
We were all scared, we were shackled to each other, men, women and children like savages, like animals.
It was a predicament, we felt powerless and hopeless, the despair invaded ourselves.
They wore very strange clothes, I was anxious, and had weapons wich spat fire called rifle !
We were led to an unknown destination and those who didn't walk fast enought were whipped without pity.
They even threatened to kill those who were too slow.
They were insensitive to our grief, we sobbed, they didn't have any fragment of humanity !
After a long, painful and exhausting walk we reached the coast and discover a huge ship which waiting for, full of white men, it's only there I understood that we have been caught by african slave tradders in order to be sell and enslave by white settlers.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 30-04-2011 06:49
+ forum




Réponse: Correction/coast of Africa de may, postée le 01-05-2011 à 02:20:27 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

If you are reading this story that mean/accorder verbe I'm free once again, or I'm seriously injured by white settlers. But first of all let me tell you my story.
My name is baaba Djibo, I was born on the west coast of Africa in Senegal, a beautiful country where nature, animals and humans live/gerund in harmony.

One day in June, 1837
In savanna, I was busy with my cattle, when/mettre avant sujet I suddenly I heard severals desperates cries from my tribe.
So I run back to my village fastest as/as fast as I could ou the fastest I could, using my secret path to saw/infinitive what's happened/past continuous.
once arrived/Upon my arrival, I were grabbed by surprise/immédiatement? and threw down by some men, probably members of a rival tribe.
We were all scared, we were shackled to each other, men, women and children like savages, like animals.
It was a predicament, we felt powerless and hopeless, the despair invaded ourselves.
They wore very strange clothes, I was anxious/cette phrase doit être mis au début ou à la fin, and had weapons wich spat fire called rifle !
We were led to an unknown destination and those who didn't walk fast enought were whipped without pity.
They even threatened to kill those who were too slow.
They were insensitive to our grief, we sobbed, they didn't have any fragment of humanity !
After a long, painful and exhausting walk we reached the coast and discover/past tense a huge ship which waiting for, full of white men waiting for us, it's only there/pas de bon mot I understood that we have been caught by african slave tradders in order to be sell/past participle and enslaved by white settlers.

Best wishes,




Réponse: Correction/coast of Africa de cocktail, postée le 01-05-2011 à 06:04:10 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup, heureusement que vous étiez là !!
Super sympa




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