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A free man/Correction

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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A free man/Correction
Message de sablune posté le 19-04-2011 à 17:13:54 (S | E | F)
Hello,

Could anybody correct my topic, please?
I have many difficulties, and it is very important for me. It's about a novel I have read.
Thank you for your help.

According to me, in the end of the story Max is a free man. I’m conscious that isn’t the moral thing to say, but I’m a realistic girl.

First of all, Max has broken the chain of the poverty. He was born in an extreme poverty, with no hope to keep a better future. His situation became easier when he became driver for a rich family, that’s true, but he continued to work like a sidekick. After he committed the murder of his boss, for stole money, he won the opportunity to make is owns choices. Why? Because after that he has a lot of money. He started a new life, bought a company and in the end he makes the good life.

Secondly, he has no real remorses. His entire family has probably died, killed for a question of vengeance. He thinks about that sometimes, when his son look him with accusing eyes, but that’s it. A man with a clear conscience is a free person.
However, maybe one day, good luck come crashing down to his head. But until this moment, Max will stay free.
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Edited by bridg on 19-04-2011 19:20
Corrections+titre+forum


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Modifié par lucile83 le 19-04-2011 20:02
Corrections supplémentaires



Réponse: A free man/Correction de may, postée le 20-04-2011 à 03:14:14 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

First of all, Max has broken the chain of the poverty. He was born in an extreme poverty, with no hope to keep/autre verbe comme avoir a better future. His situation became/to be is better and also avoid the repetition easier/better (I suggest) when he became driver for a rich family, that’s true, but he continued to work like a sidekick. After he committed the murder of his boss ( you can simply say He murdered...), for stole money, he won/pas de bon verbe the opportunity to make is owns choices. Why? Because after that he has/présent perfect a lot of money. He started a new life, bought a company and in the end he makes the good life.

Secondly, he has no real remorses. His entire family has probably died, ...killed for a question of vengeance (rephrase si possible). He thinks about that sometimes, when his son look/accorder avec sujet + prép. him with accusing eyes, but that’s it. A man with a clear conscience is a free person.
However, maybe one day, good luck come/accorder crashing down to his head. But until this moment/now?, Max (will) stay/accorder free.

Bonne chance!



Réponse: A free man/Correction de sherry48, postée le 20-04-2011 à 04:40:26 (S | E)
Hello,

Take another look at your articles-poverty does not need an article, but driver is better with an article.
I would also suggest changing the article in 'the good life.'
Finally, consider another preposition in this phrase...'to his head.'

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Modifié par lucile83 le 20-04-2011 06:39




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