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Farming became Industry /Correction

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Farming became Industry /Correction
Message de raflop posté le 20-12-2010 à 20:53:25 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, j'ai un commentaire à rendre sur un extrait abrégé de THE GRAPES OF WRATH de J.Steinbeck. Je voudrais avoir une correction s'il vous plait et pourquoi pas un avis sur celui-ci.

Merci.

This document is an extract abridged from a novel entitled "The Grapes of Wrath". It was written by John Steinbeck in 1939, at the end of the Great Depression.

The main idea developed in this extract is the transformation of the society which was based before on the farming and it is now the industry which dominate widely.
We will analyze the author's reasoning :
-First, Steinbeck's view into the history of lands
-Second, The example of a life during this period by a homeless family
-Third, what could happen to the great owners

In this presentation, I will follow the structure of this extract and at the same time study what wants to formulate the author.

PART 1 :

In paragraph one, which begin like a tale ("Once California belonged to Mexico" l1), we have in outline what happened at California's lands. We learn that these lands which were proprieties of Mexicans were conquer by Americans ("and a horde of Americans poured in" l2).
But Americans didn't just cultivate lands like Mexicans before but they decided to count their crops in dollars and so, their jobs changed, they are now shopkeepers !
The last sentence of this paragraph is very demonstrative of the transformation bring on by Americans : "Farming became industry"(l7)

In paragraph two, the author focus on Mexicans who where dispossessed. He explains what happened to them, they were scatter in many states : "Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas,New Mexico,Nevanda and Arkansans"(l8-9). But worst, they are now homeless and hungry ...

Part 2 :

In paragraph three, we have a homeless hungry family, maybe the author create them to illustrate how the life is difficult ... We learn that they travelled by roads together and that children are thin ("his thin children in the back seat" l12). To accentuate the predigment of the family, we can read that they are looking to lands with golden oranges but they can't try to pick it because many guards are patrolling with shotguns (l17).
Moreover, we understand that if fruits can't bring some profit, they will dumped it ...

In paragraph four, there is just two sentences, but they are full of meanings : "Where can we sleep the night" it shows all the distress of the family !

In paragraph five, John Steinbeck insists on Hooverville (three repetitions : l22,23 & 26). He explains what is really these Hooverville. We can see that there are in many places ("on the edge of every river"l22-23;"on the edge of every town"l23-24) and they are composed of tents and paper houses. For the author it's a "great junk pile"l25-26.

In paragraphs 6 and 7, we have a dialogue between the man of the family and an other man. They are speaking about the father's situation and his family.

In paragraphs 8 and 9, We learn that "the squatters" must leave their places because people burn down their camp.
Homeless are compared as "ants"(l41). It means that they try to save what thay can before all must be burnt ...

Part 3 :

In paragraph 10, The author wants to show that homeless aren't weaks, on the contrary, the great owners must be suspicious ! John Steinbeck sides with poors people ! He means that owners are arrogants, they don't think that homeless can be unite. They forget "three cries of history"(l43-44).
-When the power is just between some hands, it must be taken away.
-When most of people are hungry and cold they generally take the power by force
-The repression always reinforce links between repressed ("strenghten and knit the repressed"l50)
For the author, if this situation continue like that, every people who are repressed must be revolted and they will take the power by violence.

In paragraph 11, There is an explication about how is spend the money when there is an opposition between repressed and leadership. People who have the power buy arms, they protect gr

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 20-12-2010 21:56
forum



Réponse: Farming became Industry /Correction de raflop, postée le 20-12-2010 à 20:54:22 (S | E)
(Voici la suite et fin)

In paragraph 11, There is an explication about how is spend the money when there is an opposition between repressed and leadership. People who have the power buy arms, they protect great holdings by gas and finally, they buy spies to hear every murmuring of revolt.


In this extract, the author shows the the difficult lifes of homeless and hungry families. We can see early that he sides with poors (he says that Americans are a horde line 2).
I personally think that the author is right because many people were private of their lands and so their crops ...
Nowadays, many Americans are richs because their ancestors take lands to Mexicans by force and they became homeless and hungry.



Réponse: Farming became Industry /Correction de raflop, postée le 28-12-2010 à 15:48:19 (S | E)
De l'aide s'il vous plait ???



Réponse: Farming became Industry /Correction de laure95, postée le 28-12-2010 à 16:20:04 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici ce que tu dois corriger:
This document is an extract abridged from a novel entitled "The Grapes of Wrath". It was written by John Steinbeck in 1939, at the end of the Great Depression.

The main idea developed in this extract is the transformation of the society which was based before on the farming and it is now the industry which dominate (3è personne du singulier) widely.
We will analyze the author's reasoning :
-First, Steinbeck's view into the history of lands
-Second, The example of a life during this period by a homeless family
-Third, what could happen to the great owners

In this presentation, I will follow the structure of this extract and at the same time I will study what wants to formulate the author. (sujet + verbe conjugué)
PART 1 :

In paragraph one, which begin (3è personne du singulier) like a tale ("Once California belonged to Mexico" l1), we have in outline what happened at California's lands. We learn that these lands which were the proprieties of Mexicans were conquer (pas la bonne forme du verbe: voix passive: BE CONJUGUE + PARTICIPE PASSE DU VERBE) by Americans ("and a horde of Americans poured in" l2).
But Americans didn't just cultivate lands like Mexicans before but they decided to count their crops in dollars and so, their jobs changed, they are now shopkeepers !
The last sentence of this paragraph is very demonstrative of the transformation bring (participe passé) on by Americans : "Farming became industry"(l7)

In paragraph two, the author focus (3è personne du singulier) on Mexicans who where dispossessed. He explains what happened to them, they were scatter (participe passé) in many states : "Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas,New Mexico,Nevanda and Arkansans"(l8-9). But worst, they are now homeless and hungry ...

Voilà pour la 1ère partie.
Attention à l'oubli du "'s" à la 3è personne du singulier!




Réponse: Farming became Industry /Correction de laure95, postée le 28-12-2010 à 16:25:35 (S | E)
(suite)
Part 2 :

In paragraph three, we have a homeless hungry family, maybe the author create (pas le bon temps) them to illustrate how the life is difficult (pas la bonne construction HOW + ADJ + SUJET + VERBE) ... We learn that they travelled by roads (by foot?) together and that children are thin ("his thin children in the back seat" l12). To accentuate the predigment of the family, we can read that they are looking to lands with golden oranges but they can't try to pick it (que reprend IT?) because many guards are patrolling with shotguns (l17).
Moreover, we understand that if fruits can't bring some profit, they will dumped it ...

In paragraph four, there is (THERE IS + SINGULIER) just two sentences, but they are full of meanings (singulier) : "Where can we sleep the night" it shows all the distress of the family !

In paragraph five, John Steinbeck insists on Hooverville (three repetitions : l22,23 & 26). He explains what is really these (THESE: démonstratif pluriel + problème de construction) Hooverville. We can see that there are in many places ("on the edge of every river"l22-23;"on the edge of every town"l23-24) and they are composed of tents and paper houses. For the author it's a "great junk pile"l25-26.

In paragraphs 6 and 7, we have a dialogue between the man of the family and an other man. They are speaking about the father's situation and his family.

In paragraphs 8 and 9, We learn that "the squatters" must leave their places because people burn down (je mettrai le présent progressif) their camp.
Homeless are compared as "ants"(l41). It means that they try to save what thay can before all must be burnt ...




Réponse: Farming became Industry /Correction de laure95, postée le 28-12-2010 à 16:34:39 (S | E)
(fin)
Part 3 :

In paragraph 10, The author wants to show that homeless aren't weaks (les adjectifs sont invariables), on the contrary, the great owners must be suspicious ! John Steinbeck sides with poors (même remarque) people ! He means that owners are arrogants, they don't think that homeless can be unite (participe passé). They forget "three cries of history"(l43-44).
-When the power is just between some hands, it must be taken away.
-When most of people are hungry and cold they generally take the power by force
-The repression always reinforce (3è personne du singulier) the links between the repressed ("strenghten and knit the repressed"l50)
For the author, if this situation continue (conjugaison) like that, every people who are repressed must (MUST n'existe pas au futur) be revolted and they will take the power by violence.


In paragraph 11, There is an explication about how is spend the money (construction + participe passé) when there is an opposition between the repressed and leadership (the leaders?). People who have the power buy arms, they protect great holdings by gas and finally, they buy spies to hear every murmuring of revolt.


In this extract, the author shows the the difficult lifes (ce n'est pas le pluriel de LIFE) of homeless and hungry families. We can see early that he sides with the poors (singulier) (he says that Americans are a horde line 2).
I personally think that the author is right because many people were private of their lands and so their crops ...
Nowadays, many Americans are richs because their ancestors take lands to Mexicans by force and they became (temps) homeless and hungry.

INTERROGATIVE INDIRECTE: MOT INTERROGATIF + SUJET + VERBE CONJUGUE
VOIX PASSIVE: BE CONJUGUE + PARTICIPE PASSE DU VERBE

LES ADJECTIFS SONT INVARIABLES



Réponse: Farming became Industry /Correction de alphonse46, postée le 28-12-2010 à 16:47:01 (S | E)
Good afternoon, raflop


This document is an extract abridged from a novel entitled "The Grapes of Wrath". It was written by John Steinbeck in 1939, at the end of the Great Depression.

The main idea developed in this extract is the transformation of the society which was based before on the farming and it is now the industry which dominate widely.( dominer ou prévaloir)what is the objet which is dominated?
We will analyze the author's reasoning :who are 'we'
-First, Steinbeck's view into the history of lands( a single view about lands! and why lands (U.S.A., Europeans lands, Eastern lands?)
-Second, The example of a life during this period (can you explain more) by a homeless family(why by?or what is the verb?)
-Third, what could happen to the great owners (who and where are they?)

In this presentation, I will follow the structure of this extract and at the same time study what wants to formulate the author.

PART 1 :

In paragraph one, which begin like a tale ("Once California belonged to Mexico" l1), we have in outline what happened at California's lands. We learn that these lands which were(the, or not the?) proprieties of Mexicans( why use: of the Mexicans) were conquer(tense?) by Americans ("and a horde of Americans poured in" l2).
But Americans didn't just cultivate lands like Mexicans before but they decided to count their crops in dollars and so, their jobs changed, they are now (nowadays)shopkeepers !
The last sentence of this paragraph is very demonstrative of the transformation bring( tense) on by Americans : "Farming became industry"(l7)

In paragraph two, the author focus(tense) on Mexicans who where dispossessed. He explains( is the author still alive?) what happened to them, they were scatter(tense) in many states : "Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas,New Mexico,Nevanda and Arkansans?"(l8-9). But worst, they are( so, nowadays?) now homeless and hungry ...

Part 2 :

In paragraph three, we have( find another verb) a homeless hungry family, maybe the author create( tense) them to illustrate how the life is( tense) difficult ... We learn that they travelled by roads together and that children are thin ("his thin children in the back seat" l12). To(choose another word) accentuate the predigment of the family, we can read that they are looking(tense) to lands with golden oranges but they can't(tense) try to pick it because many guards are patrolling(tense) with shotguns (l17).
Moreover, we understand that if fruits can't bring some profit, they will dumped it ...: in what time?

In paragraph four, there is just two sentences, but they are full of meanings : "Where can we sleep the night" it shows all the distress of the family !

In paragraph five, John Steinbeck insists(is he alive?) on Hooverville( only one ?) (three repetitions : l22,23 & 26). He explains what is(tense) really these Hooverville( pl. We can see that there are( nowadays?) in many places ("on the edge of every river"l22-23;"on the edge of every town"l23-24) and they are composed(tense) of tents and paper houses. For the author it's(tense) a "great junk pile"l25-26.





Réponse: Farming became Industry /Correction de raflop, postée le 28-12-2010 à 18:05:23 (S | E)
Voila ma premiere correction suite a l'aide de Laure (il me reste une erreur en rouge que je n'arrive pas à corriger):

This document is an extract abridged from a novel entitled "The Grapes of Wrath". It was written by John Steinbeck in 1939, at the end of the Great Depression.

The main idea developed in this extract is the transformation of the society which was based before on farming and it is now industry which dominates widely.
We will analyze the author's reasoning :
-First, Steinbeck's view on the history of lands
-Second, The example of a life during this period by a homeless family
-Third, what could happen to the great owners

In this presentation, I will follow the structure of this extract and at the same time I will study what the author wants to formulate
PART 1 :

In paragraph one, which begins like a tale ("Once California belonged to Mexico" l1), we have in outline what happened in California's lands. We learn that these lands which were the proprieties of Mexicans were conquered by Americans ("and a horde of Americans poured in" l2).
But Americans didn't just cultivate lands like Mexicans before but they decided to count their crops in dollars and so, their jobs changed, they are now shopkeepers !
The last sentence of this paragraph is very demonstrative of the transformation brought on by Americans : "Farming became industry"(l7)

In paragraph two, the author focuses on Mexicans who where dispossessed. He explains what happened to them, they were scattered in many states : "Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas,New Mexico,Nevanda and Arkansans"(l8-9). But worst, they are now homeless and hungry ...

Part 2 :

In paragraph three, we have a homeless hungry family, maybe the author created them to illustrate how difficult the life is ... We learn that they travelled by car together and that children are thin ("his thin children in the back seat" l12). To accentuate the predigment of the family, we can read that they are looking lands with golden oranges but they can't try to pick some fruits because many guards are patrolling with shotguns (l17).
Moreover, we understand that if fruits can't bring some profit, they will dumped it ...

In paragraph four, there are just two sentences, but they are full of meaning : "Where can we sleep the night" it shows all the distress of the family !

In paragraph five, John Steinbeck insists on Hooverville (three repetitions : l22,23 & 26). He explains what is really these (THESE: démonstratif pluriel + problème de construction) Hooverville. We can see that there are in many places ("on the edge of every river"l22-23;"on the edge of every town"l23-24) and they are composed of tents and paper houses. For the author it's a "great junk pile"l25-26.

In paragraphs 6 and 7, we have a dialogue between the man of the family and an other man. They are speaking about the father's situation and his family.

In paragraphs 8 and 9, We learn that "the squatters" must leave their places because people are burning down their camp.
Homeless are compared as "ants"(l41). It means that they try to save what thay can before all must be burnt ...



Réponse: Farming became Industry /Correction de raflop, postée le 28-12-2010 à 18:06:17 (S | E)
Voici la deuxieme partie de la correction :

Part 3 :

In paragraph 10, The author wants to show that homeless aren't weak, on the contrary, the great owners must be suspicious ! John Steinbeck sides with poor people ! He means that owners are arrogant, they don't think that homeless can be united . They forget "three cries of history"(l43-44).
-When the power is just among some hands, it must be taken away.
-When most of people are hungry and cold they generally take the power by force
-The repression always reinforces links between repressed ("strenghten and knit the repressed"l50)
For the author, if this situation is continuing like that, every people who are repressed will be revolted and they will take the power by violence.


In paragraph 11, There is an explication about how the money is spent is spend the money when there is an opposition between repressed and the leaders . People who have the power buy arms, they protect great holdings by gas and finally, they buy spies to hear every murmuring of revolt.


In this extract, the author shows the the difficult lives of homeless and hungry families. We can see early that he sides with the poor (he says that Americans are a horde line 2).
I personally think that the author is right because many people were privated of their lands and so their crops ...
Nowadays, many Americans are rich because their ancestors take lands to Mexicans by force and they become homeless and hungry.



Réponse: Farming became Industry /Correction de alphonse46, postée le 30-12-2010 à 10:54:28 (S | E)
Good morning,
>When must you use the present tense? you are making a mix by using present and preterit)
what is really these ( these+ noun), these is plural, so..:'is'?)
It means that they try(nowadays?) to save what thay can before all must be burnt
Part 3 :

In paragraph 10, The author wants to show that homeless aren't weak, on the contrary, the great owners must be suspicious ! John Steinbeck sides with poor people ! He means that owners are arrogant, they don't think that homeless can be united . They forget "three cries of history"(l43-44).
-When the power is just among some hands, it must be taken away.
-When most of people are hungry and cold they generally take the power by force
-The repression always reinforces links between repressed ("strenghten and knit the repressed"l50)
For the author, if this situation is continuing like that, every people who are repressed will be revolted and they will take the power by violence.


In paragraph 11, There is an explication about how the money is spent is spend the money when there is an opposition between repressed and the(or, without'the'?) leaders . People who have the power buy arms, they protect great holdings by gas and finally, they buy( choose another verb: we usually buy spies belonging to the opposite camp) spies to hear every murmuring of revolt.


In this extract, the author shows the the difficult lives of homeless and hungry families. We can see early that he sides with the poor (he says that Americans are a horde line 2).
I personally think that the author is right because many people were privated of their lands and so their crops ...
Nowadays, many Americans are rich because their ancestors take(tense) lands to Mexicans by force and they( ces derniers) become homeless and hungry.





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