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New Technologies Correction !

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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New Technologies Correction !
Message de olyday posté le 12-11-2010 à 18:58:20 (S | E | F)
Hello,
Je dois préparer une petite prise de parole sur les habitudes en matière de nouvelles technologies ( je devais répondre à des questions ).
Pouvez-vous m'aider à me corriger SVP s'il vous plaît ? Je vous remercie par avance !

When I have my first mobile phone, I’m twelve years old. Today, it’s my fourth mobile and my parents bought it. I spend about one hour per day on my mobile to tchat with my friends, to sendand get texts, to play games and to call my parents.
We have only a family computer because I am an only girl and my parents don’t use it for their job. We have it for six years. I spend about one hour on the Internet a day to spend time to Facebook, to listen and download some music, to play games and to search some informations for the high school.
I spend about 10 minutes per day on reading books because I haven’t got a lot of time but I also have to read books for French lessons.
I spend two hours a day on my homework but I work more at the weekend where I try to make progress as much as possible.
I spend only one hour in the morning and three hours in the evening with my family because I leave early from my home in the morning and my parents get back home late in the evening.
I see my friends every day at school but I see them so a little during the holidays even if I prefer to spend time with my family.
I would be ready to spend one day without my computer or my mobile but it would be very difficult.If I had the choice among the new technologies, I would opt for the Internet because it is a very fast and very practical tool. We can find information on all the subjects, speak with friends who live far for example but also to watch TV or to listen to the radio that’s why it is multi function.



-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 12-11-2010 19:14




Réponse: New Technologies Correction ! de robertbrou, postée le 12-11-2010 à 19:34:44 (S | E)
Bonjour Olyday,

Dans l'ensemble, c'est un bon travail. Voici mes suggestions:

When I have (temps) my first mobile phone, I’m (idem) twelve years old. Today, it’s (refaire avec I comme sujet) my fourth mobile and my parents bought it. I spend about one hour per day on my mobile to tchat (orthographe) with my friends, to send and get (utiliser synonyme) texts, to play games and to call my parents.

(NB: au lieu de faire to+verbe, vous pouvez utiliser le gérondif)

We have only (placement) a family computer because I am an only girl (êtes-vous le seul enfant, ou est-ce que vous la seule fille parmi vos frères? Si c'est le premier cas, je mettrais "child" au lieu de "girl". Sinon, ça va.) and my parents don’t use it for their job. We have (temps) it for six years. I spend about one hour on the Internet a day to spend time to on Facebook, to listen and download some music, to play games and to search (manque préposition) some informations for the high school.
I spend about 10 minutes per day on reading books because I haven’t got a lot of time but I also have to read books for French lessons.
I spend two hours a day on my homework but I work more at the weekend (rechercher "le week-end") where I try to make progress as much as possible.
I spend only one hour in the morning and three hours in the evening with my family because I leave early from my home in the morning and my parents get back home late in the evening.
I see my friends every day at school but I see them so (rechercher "aussi", et replacer) a little during the holidays even if I prefer to spend time with my family.
I would be ready to spend one day without my computer or my mobile but it would be very difficult. If I had the choice among the new technologies, I would opt for the Internet because it is a very fast and very practical tool. We can find information on all the subjects, speak with friends who live far away for example, but also to watch TV or to listen to the radio(ponctuation) that’s why it is multi-function.


Hope this helps!




Réponse: New Technologies Correction ! de olyday, postée le 12-11-2010 à 20:12:16 (S | E)
Je vous remercie pour votre correction !!!




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