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Correction- Accro aux jeux
Message de zaldia posté le 07-11-2010 à 18:10:24 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai un sujet en anglais à faire et j'aimerais connaître mes fautes éventuelles, Le sujet est un monologue sur une personne disputant son ami qui est accro aux jeux.
Merci d'avance
<< I dream...You want going with me in casino with false identity card ? It's the madness ! You risk the prison ! I don't recognize youny more and your parents too...You don't go out any more, you sleep in class because you bet all the night on web-site, your marks are on free-fall, and now you want to cheat on your identity, but wake up ! You are even there in the point to steal some money to your parents ! There are worried bout you and me too, you should see a specialist , you are sick, addict. If you continous like that you are going to be alone , you are locking yourself into a spiral turning around the money ! And why you need this money ?
There are so many other things to do and more important like friends and love... You lose this moments, because when we other go out or make party you are in front of your computer to bet. You lose too much, you must to stop and fast ! Before you make worse for find money.
If you want , i can come with you see a doctor for a rehab. And if you need money, there are other way to winning it. There are many job in town like baby sitter or dog walker. Listen, i know someone who have start like you, for fun, and who have bet more every day, of course his wife don't know everything, his wife who was 6months pregnant... the the credit accumulated untill the day or a process-server comes to make a search premises of the house... Finally the guy have lose everything, wife, baby and house and have a debt untill the end of his days...
You understand now the risk that represents ? Don't cry is useless, come with me see your parents and tell everything, and will be ok.>>
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Modifié par lucile83 le 07-11-2010 18:23
Message de zaldia posté le 07-11-2010 à 18:10:24 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai un sujet en anglais à faire et j'aimerais connaître mes fautes éventuelles, Le sujet est un monologue sur une personne disputant son ami qui est accro aux jeux.
Merci d'avance
<< I dream...You want going with me in casino with false identity card ? It's the madness ! You risk the prison ! I don't recognize youny more and your parents too...You don't go out any more, you sleep in class because you bet all the night on web-site, your marks are on free-fall, and now you want to cheat on your identity, but wake up ! You are even there in the point to steal some money to your parents ! There are worried bout you and me too, you should see a specialist , you are sick, addict. If you continous like that you are going to be alone , you are locking yourself into a spiral turning around the money ! And why you need this money ?
There are so many other things to do and more important like friends and love... You lose this moments, because when we other go out or make party you are in front of your computer to bet. You lose too much, you must to stop and fast ! Before you make worse for find money.
If you want , i can come with you see a doctor for a rehab. And if you need money, there are other way to winning it. There are many job in town like baby sitter or dog walker. Listen, i know someone who have start like you, for fun, and who have bet more every day, of course his wife don't know everything, his wife who was 6months pregnant... the the credit accumulated untill the day or a process-server comes to make a search premises of the house... Finally the guy have lose everything, wife, baby and house and have a debt untill the end of his days...
You understand now the risk that represents ? Don't cry is useless, come with me see your parents and tell everything, and will be ok.>>
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 07-11-2010 18:23
Réponse: Correction- Accro aux jeux de lucile83, postée le 07-11-2010 à 18:32:47 (S | E)
Hello,
<< I dream...You want going with me in casino with ... false identity card ? It's the madness ! You risk the prison ! I don't recognize youny more and your parents too...
Vous avez dû mal recopier quand vous écrivez 'youny' à la place de 'you any' sans doute.
Réponse: Correction- Accro aux jeux de zaldia, postée le 07-11-2010 à 19:14:51 (S | E)
Oui en effet c'est une faute de frappe.
<< I dream...You want go with me on casino with ... false identity card ? It's madness ! You risk the prison ! I don't recognize you any more and your parents too...
je n'ai pas changée certains mots surlignés en rose car je ne sais pas la faute
Réponse: Correction- Accro aux jeux de robertbrou, postée le 11-11-2010 à 19:35:07 (S | E)
Bonjour,
I dream...You want going with me in casino with (manque article indéfini) false identity card ? It's
There are so many other things to do and (manque conj+verbe) more important like friends and love... You lose this (utiliser forme pluriel) moments, because when we other go out or make party (refaire) you are in front of your computer, to bet (utiliser gérondif). You lose too much, you must
If you want , i can come with you see a doctor for
[.../...]
Réponse: Correction- Accro aux jeux de robertbrou, postée le 11-11-2010 à 19:37:30 (S | E)
Rebonjour,
Voici la suite de mes suggestions:
You understand now (placement) the risk that (manque pronom) represents ? Don't cry. (manque pronom) is useless, come with me to see your parents and tell (manque pronom) everything, and
Hope this helps!
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