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Type Bac - Correction

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Type Bac - Correction
Message de hugoboss183 posté le 24-02-2010 à 19:41:16 (S | E | F)

Bonjour,

Pourriez vous me dire si mon texte est grammaticalement correct et dans le cas contraire m'indiquer quelles sont mes erreurs?
Voila le sujet : IS IT POSSIBLE TO COMBINE IDEALISM WITH A PROFESSIONAL CAREER?

The idealism is the act or practice of envisioning things is an ideal form; pursuit of one's ideals.
Today, the world of work occupies a more and more important place. In this way, is it possible to combine idealism and professional career?
Two views are conflicting.

It's not possible to combine idealism and professional career, in fact, to rise in the social and professional ladder it is necessary to invest absolutely in his professional career which does not leave place for idealism.
For the philosophers, the right idealism is possible only if a man is free of the necessity of work. Is it really an ideal if we are pay for realize that? Is it necessary to sacrifice his free time for his ideal? Is idealism more important than his social life?

However, in spite of the more and more difficult rate of work, it is possible to carry on with an ideal without as far as it encroaches upon the professional career. Unlike, idealism is beneficial for the professional career, permitting to acquire new knowledge, a bigger self confidence and a more easier relational.

It is possible to combine idealism and professional career; it is the case of medical professions or in the law professions for example.

Idealism doesn’t imply a total investment. Everyone can carry on his ideal ''à son échelle" in use his time (voluntary), his money (settlement) and his knowledge.


So finally, we have proved that it's possible to combine idealism and professional career without that the idealism becomes a brake unlike idealism turn out to be beneficial in a professional career.





Réponse: Type Bac - Correction de linsey34, postée le 25-02-2010 à 23:00:14 (S | E)
Hi there !

The idealism is the act or practice of envisioning things is an ideal form; pursuit of one's ideals.
Today, the world of work occupies a more and more important place. In this way, is it possible to combine idealism and professional career?
Two views are conflicting.

It's not possible to combine idealism and professional career, in fact, to rise in the social and professional ladder it is necessary to invest absolutely in his professional career which does not leave place for idealism.
For the philosophers, the right idealism is possible only if a man is free of the necessity of work. Is it really an ideal if we are pay for realize that? Is it necessary to sacrifice his free time for his ideal? Is idealism more important than his social life?

However, in spite of the more and more difficult rate of work, it is possible to carry on with an ideal without as far as it encroaches upon the professional career. Unlike, idealism is beneficial for the professional career, permitting to acquire new knowledge, a bigger self confidence and a more easier relational.

It is possible to combine idealism and professional career; it is the case of medical professions or in the law professions for example.

Idealism doesn’t imply a total investment. Everyone can carry on his ideal ''à son échelle" in use his time (voluntary), his money (settlement) and his knowledge.


So finally, we have proved that it's possible to combine idealism and professional career without that the idealism becomes a brake unlike idealism turn out to be beneficial in a professional career.



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