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Correction d'un rapport

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction d'un rapport
Message de anae64 posté le 31-01-2010 à 19:50:36 (S | E | F)

Bonsoir,
Pouvez vous, s'il vous plaît corriger les quelques fautes qui se seraient glissées dans cet essai? Il faut y décrire son programme favori.
Merci d'avance.
Anae


o Introduction
This report is written to describe my favourite TV programme “An almost perfect meal” in order to start a new section in a magazine called “Great TV programmes around the World”.
Firstly, I will present what kind of programme it is. Then, I will say you why I like it so much.

o “An almost perfect meal” description
During the show, five amateur chefs compete against each other hosting a dinner party for the other contestants. Then, each competitor rates the host's performance about three factors: the cooking, the decorating and the atmosphere during the dinner.

o My opinion about this TV programme
French cuisine is known all over the world like excellent. The recipes vary by regions and each city has a speciality. To my mind, the strong point of this TV programme is to allow to discover this culinary variety. Moreover, as cooks are amateur chefs, the recipes are easy to imitate by housewives.

o Conclusion
I would not hesitate to recommend ”An almost perfect meal” to your “Great TV programmes around the world” section.



Réponse: Correction d'un rapport de gerondif, postée le 31-01-2010 à 21:00:25 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

Introduction
This report is written to describe my favourite TV programme “An almost perfect meal” in order to start a new section in a magazine called “Great TV programmes around the World”.
Firstly, I will present what kind of programme it is. Then, I will say( remplacer par "tell") you why I like it so much.

o “An almost perfect meal” description
During the show, five amateur chefs compete against each other hosting a dinner party for the other contestants. Then, each competitor rates the host's performance about(selon, sur) three factors: the cooking, the decorating and the atmosphere during the dinner.

o My opinion about this TV programme
French cuisine is known all over the world like( as = comme, en tant que) excellent. The recipes vary by regions and each city has a speciality. To my mind, the strong point of this TV programme is to allow us to discover this culinary variety. Moreover, as cooks are amateur chefs, the recipes are easy to imitate by housewives.

o Conclusion
I would not hesitate to recommend ”An almost perfect meal” to your “Great TV programmes around the world” section.



Réponse: Correction d'un rapport de anae64, postée le 31-01-2010 à 21:59:14 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup de m'avoir corrigée Pour l'une des erreurs je ne suis pas sure de l'amélioration à effectuer. Est ce que "each competitor rates the host's performance ON three factors" parait meilleur?
Autrement, j'ai un nouvel essai à vous soumettre,une lettre formelle cette fois-ci, pouvez-vous m'indiquer mes fautes éventuelles s'il vous plait?
Merci d'avance
Anae
PS : Et oui... j'avais bien trois essais d'anglais a réaliser ce week end xD Encore merci pour vos corrections

Dear Mrs Benson,

I read your recent advertisement in an English language newspaper with interest. I think I am suitable for a job in our international bookshop.

Firstly, I have a real passion for literature. Indeed, I studied English Language at “Sorbonne” during three years. Thanks to my degree, I have a general knowledge about the English literature from the middle ages to the present day. So, I think I am able to advice your customers in their reading.

Moreover, I have had my First Certificate in English (FCE) with a grade B for two years. I think that I could easily work in our international bookshop. Should you have any questions about my English register, please do not hesitate to contact me.

I would like to add that I have already worked as a waitress in a French restaurant. So, I am used to the relationship with the clientele.

Thank you in advance for your attention to my application.

Yours sincerely,

Anae XXX



Réponse: Correction d'un rapport de gerondif, postée le 31-01-2010 à 22:24:42 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
"rated on" me semble convenir, j'aurais mis "according to" mais parfois, je suis sûr de moi jusqu'à ce qu'un collègue plus inspiré ou un "native speaker" proves me wrong !!

Dear Mrs Benson,

I read your recent advertisement in an English language newspaper with interest. I think I am suitable for a job in our(your serait plus logique) international bookshop.

Firstly, I have a real passion for literature. Indeed, I studied English Language at “Sorbonne” during(for!!) three years. Thanks to my degree, I have a general knowledge about the English literature from the middle ages to the present day. So, I think I am able to advice(advice:nom advise:verbe) your customers in their reading.

Moreover, I have had my First Certificate in English (FCE) with a grade B for two years. I think that I could easily work in our international bookshop. Should you have any questions about my English register (??), please do not hesitate to contact me.

I would like to add that I have already worked as a waitress in a French restaurant. So, I am used to the relationship with the clientele.

Thank you in advance for your attention to my application.

Yours sincerely,




Réponse: Correction d'un rapport de anae64, postée le 31-01-2010 à 22:34:29 (S | E)
J'ai trouvé "register" pour traduire niveau de langue. Mais apparemment cela ne convient pas. "English level" serait mieux?
Bonne soirée
Anae


Réponse: Correction d'un rapport de gerondif, postée le 31-01-2010 à 22:53:40 (S | E)
Re bonsoir !
J'ai trouvé "register" pour le registre littéraire d'une oeuvre, English level, ou plutôt my level in English, sera plus clair.

clientele existe, j'étais sur le point de le remplacer par customers mais peut-être est-il courant dans le domaine de la restauration.


Réponse: Correction d'un rapport de anae64, postée le 31-01-2010 à 22:58:15 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide!!!
Bonne fin de soirée.
Anae


Réponse: Correction d'un rapport de anae64, postée le 31-01-2010 à 23:18:03 (S | E)
Bon, un dernier pour la route en fait... Je ne pensais pas le faire ce soir mais finalement l'inspiration est venue. Le sujet de cet essai est de commencer par : "Alison read the note, smiled, and immediately put on her coat."
Pouvez vous me corriger mes fautes s'il vous plait?
Anae
PS : Promis c'est le dernier xD

Alison read the note, smiled, and immediately put on her coat. When she saw a name and a date on the note, she remembered the previous night. To the New Year’s Eve, with her two best friends, they went to a private party in a nightclub. After several drinks, she met a man on the dance floor. A kiss was exchanged but she knew neither his name nor his phone number. In the morning, she gasped with joy. The note seemed to be a ray of hope, the mysterious man thought, apparently, of everything.

She took quickly a taxi and when she went out, it started to snow. Everything around was white and beautiful. In every moment you could feel harmony and peace. But Alison was in a hurry and she didn’t notice this beautiful atmosphere. After powdering her nose, he entered in the little café. When the man turned over, her heart raced. He was as beautiful as on her memory. A happy new year in prospect.



Réponse: Correction d'un rapport de gerondif, postée le 31-01-2010 à 23:31:29 (S | E)
Il faut reconnaitre que ce texte stimule plus l'imagination à 23h30 que la demande d'emploi dans une librairie


Alison read the note, smiled, and immediately put on her coat. When she saw a name and a date on the note, she remembered the previous night. To the (for)New Year’s Eve, with her two best friends, they (ne vaudrait-il pas mieux mettre au plus que parfait : ils étaient allés( they had gone), elle avait rencontré, un baiser avait été échangé,) went to a private party in a nightclub. After several drinks, she met a man on the dance floor. A kiss was exchanged but she knew neither his name nor his phone number. In the morning, she gasped with joy. The note seemed to be a ray of hope, the mysterious man (adverbe avant avait pensé)thought, apparently, of everything.

She (adverbe avant le verbe)took quickly a taxi and when she went out, it started to snow. Everything around was white and beautiful. In every moment (j'aurais mis everywhere you looked, ou bien "all around" en fin de phrase mais c'est déjà fait juste avant: It was a moment of harmony and peace si vous voulez ester dans le temporel))you could feel harmony and peace. But Alison was in a hurry and she didn’t notice this beautiful atmosphere. After powdering her nose, he entered in(entered est littéraire et transitif, went into plus prosaïque) the little café. When the man turned over, her heart raced. He was as beautiful (handsome pour un homme normalement) as on (pas in ?)her memory. A happy new year in prospect.





Réponse: Correction d'un rapport de anae64, postée le 31-01-2010 à 23:36:41 (S | E)
Apparemment il stimule plus les fautes également :p
Encore merci pour ces quatre textes que vous avez gentiment corrigés.
Bonne nuit ou bonne fin de soirée
Anae


Réponse: Correction d'un rapport de gerondif, postée le 31-01-2010 à 23:45:18 (S | E)
Ils étaient plus faciles à corriger que l'horrible permis à points ....

une dernière pensée poétique:

connaissez vous l'expression? "Time stood still" in harmony and peace....


Réponse: Correction d'un rapport de anae64, postée le 31-01-2010 à 23:56:30 (S | E)
Ah non je ne connaissais pas. J'essayerai de l'introduire dans l'un de mes prochains essais xD
Bonne soirée
Anae



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