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Un paragraphe descriptif-correction

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Un paragraphe descriptif-correction
Message de stranger07 posté le 28-10-2009 à 10:52:45 (S | E | F)

salut,

=)selon l'exemple suivant:
My Gifted Friend

Song,my best friend,is really a genius.When he first moved to our neighbourhood,the other guys avoided him.But now everybody wants to keep company with him.What is his secret?He is a brainy boy!He can solve mathematical operations faster than a calculator,and he can memorise things better than any of his peers.He always the best grades at school,and he is highly acclaimed by teachers.What makes him even more popular is his being modest,sociable and reliable.Although he is the shortest boy in our group,he is a gifted basketball player.Physically,he is round-faced,pale looking with brown small eyes and short straight hair.He is usually dressed in casual clothes:tight jeans and T-shirts.All those who knew him,including classmates and teachers,believe Song possesses the traits of a genius

==)j'ai rédigé un paragraph descreptif about a person of my classmate:

Milo ,my classmate,is really special.He has an incredible popularity in the school. this is everyone's friend.IT SOUNDS BETTER . why?He is a bright boy!He learns in a creative way and achieves the goals,His willingness to learn new subjects even the subjects are not interesting.it is too appreciated by his teachers because he is serious, attentive and active, which allows him to get the best marks in the newsletter.Extrovert, sociable, honest, reliable and sense of humor, are adjectives that characterize this person, and that make him more popular.although it is a size small in our group, he is a gifted player handball.Physically,he is round-faced,looking with narrow eyes and tall black hair.it is a mere appearance:he wears jeans, t-shirt,and trainers.His parents are very proud of him.

===)merci d'avance pour corriger chaque faute(orthographe ou expressions)dans le texte ci-dessus.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-10-2009 14:22


Réponse: Un paragraphe descriptif-correction de laure95, postée le 28-10-2009 à 12:11:53 (S | E)
Bonjour, voici ce que tu dois corriger:
Milo ,my classmate,is really special.He has an incredible popularity (is very popular) in the (at) school. this (he) is everyone's friend.IT SOUNDS BETTER ? . why?He is a bright boy!He learns in a creative way ? and achieves the (utiliser 1 possessif) goals,His willingness to learn new subjects even the subjects which are not interesting.it (pas le bon pronom) is too appreciated by his teachers because he is serious, attentive and active, which allows him to get the best marks in the newsletter ?.Extrovert, sociable, honest, reliable and having a sense of humor, are adjectives that characterize this person, and that make him more popular.although it is a size small (mal dit) in our group, he is a gifted player handball.Physically,he is round-faced,looking with narrow eyes and tall black hair.it is a mere appearance:he wears jeans, t-shirt (pluriel),and trainers.His parents are very proud of him.




Réponse: Un paragraphe descriptif-correction de stranger07, postée le 28-10-2009 à 14:43:22 (S | E)
les expressions en rouge mal exprimées,vous me conseillez de les remplacer par quoi?

merci pour...


Réponse: Un paragraphe descriptif-correction de dolfine56, postée le 28-10-2009 à 14:48:48 (S | E)
Bonjour stranger,

nous ne sommes pas là pour faire vos devoirs à votre place....seulement pour vous mettre sur la bonne voie.
c'est à vous de faire des propositions dont les erreurs seront à nouveau signalées, si nécessaire.
bon courage.


Réponse: Un paragraphe descriptif-correction de stranger07, postée le 28-10-2009 à 14:58:59 (S | E)
oui,biensûr,mais ce que j'ai essayé comme expressions,est rédigé dans le texte=)ce qui fait j'ai plus d'idées



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