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Correction/air traffic

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/air traffic
Message de nam posté le 11-10-2009 à 18:37:03 (S | E | F)

Bonjour,
Voici mon devoir d'anglais. Pouvez-vous y vérifier l'orthographe et la cohérence générale des phrases?
Merci

Some people say that governments should try to reduce air traffic by taxing it more heavily. Do you agree or disagree?

Air traffic kept rising as our economic became globalized: it rocketed about twenty years ago and doesn’t seem to have reached its highest level yet. It is a capital means of transport for both individuals and goods. Besides the fact that it is the quickest and safest way to travel all around the world, it also became incredibly cheap and accessible with the appearance of chartered planes. Therefore, taxing the flight tickets appears to present several drawbacks.
First of all, it seems to be a very discriminative proposition. Indeed, if the price of plane tickets rise, poorer passengers won’t be able to afford them, and it would lead to an elitist advantage for wealthier people. Moreover,one may consequently consider other means of transport such as train or cars. And this would obviously won’t reduce the carbon emissions -the major stake involved by the reduction of air traffic- but on the contrary conduct to lots of pollution on the roads. Secondly, state interference could be harmful to the economy. Indeed, incomes breed by air traffic are tremendous and it is key to the tourism industry. But rise taxes would surely reduce demand, and thus reduce the financial benefits.
To sum up, when bearing in mind the consequences of heavy taxes on plane tickets, it does not seem to be an appropriate solution against noise or pollution. Besides, travelling by plane is needed and important to maintain whether goods exchanges, tourism communication or technology developments.


-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 11-10-2009 18:43
+ titre



Réponse: Correction/air traffic de seb06000, postée le 11-10-2009 à 18:48:41 (S | E)

bonsoir,

je vous donne les indications de correction

'Some people say that governments should try to reduce air traffic by taxing it more heavily. Do you agree or disagree?

Air traffic kept rising as our economic became globalized: it rocketed about twenty years ago and doesn’t seem to have reached its highest level yet. It is a capital means of transport (voc) for both individuals and goods. Besides the fact that it is the quickest and safest way to travel all around the world, it also became incredibly cheap and accessible with the appearance of chartered (voc)planes. Therefore, taxing the flight tickets appears to present several drawbacks.
First of all, it seems to be a very discriminative proposition. Indeed, if the price of plane tickets rise (conjugaison), poorer passengers won’t be able to afford them, and it would lead to an elitist advantage for wealthier people. Moreover,one may consequently consider other means of transport (voc bis) such as train or cars. And this would obviously (position de l'adverbe + pourquoi un double modal?) won’t reduce the carbon emissions -the major stake involved by the reduction of air traffic- but on the contrary conduct to lots of pollution on the roads. Secondly, state interference could be harmful to the economy. Indeed, incomes breed by air traffic are tremendous and it is key to the tourism industry. But rise ( voc, il faut nominaliser Rise avec un Ing) taxes would surely reduce demand, and thus reduce the financial benefits.
To sum up, when bearing in mind the consequences of heavy taxes on plane tickets, it does not seem to be an appropriate solution against noise or pollution. Besides, travelling by plane is needed and important to maintain whether goods exchanges, tourism communication or technology developments.'


je crois que je n'ai rien oublié, votre texte est déjà d'une grande qualité!

Amicalement

sebastien



-------------------
Modifié par seb06000 le 11-10-2009 18:50


Réponse: Correction/air traffic de intrepid34, postée le 12-10-2009 à 08:25:03 (S | E)
Good morning Nam,

Here is my correction :

Some people say that governments should try to reduce air traffic by taxing it more heavily. Do you agree or disagree?

Air traffic kept rising as our economic nom) became globalized: it rocketed about twenty years ago and doesn’t seem to have reached its highest level yet. It is a capital means of transport for both individuals and goods. Besides the fact that it is the quickest and safest way to travel all around the world, it also became incredibly cheap and accessible with the appearance of chartered no - ed) planes. Therefore, taxing the (zero article pour les généralités) flight tickets appears to present several drawbacks.
First of all, it seems to be a very discriminative proposition. Indeed, if the price of plane tickets rise (3° pers sing pres simple - sujet le prix), poorer passengers won’t be able to afford them, and it would lead to an elitist advantage for wealthier people. Moreover,one may consequently consider other means of transport such as trains or cars. And this would obviously won’t(double use of aux - comme Seb le dit) reduce the carbon emissions -the major stake involved by the reduction of air traffic- but on the contrary conduct (usage de verbe - mener?) to lots of pollution on the roads. Secondly, state interference could be harmful to the economy. Indeed, incomes breed pas ce verbe) by air traffic are tremendous and it is key to the tourism industry. But(article indefini) rise in taxes would surely reduce demand, and thus reduce the financial benefits.
To sum up, when bearing in mind the consequences of heavy taxes suggestion: heavily taxed plane tickets) on plane tickets, it does not seem to be an appropriate solution against noise or pollution. Besides, travelling by plane is needed (adjectif)and important to maintain whether (it be)goods exchanges, tourism communication or technology developments.


As Seb has already said - great text, good job!!

Intrepid



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