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Correction/ human family

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/ human family
Message de natando posté le 04-10-2009 à 17:31:37 (S | E | F)

Bonjour, pouvez vous corriger mon expression , J'ai vérifié si j'avais des fautes, mais je me trompe souvent sur la grammaire. Merci!
- Comment the sentence " we are all members of one human family" (250-300 words)

Mary Robinson, a woman who served as United Nations high commissioner for human rights said " We are all members of one human family", but this sentence raises an important issue. Indeed, many persons don't share this point of view, in fact they think there are many differences between them and the others.

On the one hand, I agree with Mary Robinson because I think she stands up for human rights. So, I think that all humans are similar, that is to say, we are all equal, we share all the same charecteristics as an existence of a unic form of body. Indeed, let's us take the example of evolution of humankind. In fact, we have as origin, a unic form despite the difference of skin colors that we can find today. So, we can say that we are all members of one human family.

One the other hand, I desagree with Mary because those differences are critized by a lot of people. Indeed,they are conviced of being humans but they are convinces they belong to the best part of it. This kind of person can adopt an unacceptable behaviour, for example, everyone could notice the madness of segregation, with the ill treatment inflicted toward africans, they behaved with them such as animals.
Furthermore, to complete those unreasonable people, we can add the example of the ones whom are always prejudiced, looking for the physical apperances of persons. As for them, they see arabs and muslims as terrorists, so they can assault or even try to kill them. In this way, a turban alter to a weapon, so , this person embody all the fairs for them, whereas, I regard them as the embodies of ignorance. That is why , they are inhuman, they aren't members of the one human family.

On the whole, we can say that we are all members of one human family insofar as we share the same skills, origin but we are not all members of this family because ones of us reject foreigners and cannot live in multicoloured and cosmopolitan cities, they are totally inhumans.

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Modifié par bridg le 04-10-2009 17:45
titre


Réponse: Correction/ human family de seb06000, postée le 04-10-2009 à 18:03:45 (S | E)
bonjour,

je vous indique ce qui ne va pas

Mary Robinson, a woman who served as United Nations high commissioner for human rights said " We are all members of one human family", but this sentence raises an important issue. Indeed, many persons don't share this point of view, in fact they think there are many differences between them and the others.

On the one hand, I agree with Mary Robinson because I think she stands up for human rights. So, I think that all humans are similar, that is to say, we are all equal, we share all (position de 'all')the same charecteristics as an existence of a unic form of body. Indeed, let's us take the example of evolution (il manque un article, vous êtes dans une phrase distributive en 'of') of humankind. In fact, we have as origin, a unic form despite the difference of skin colors that we can find today. So, we can say that we are all members of one human family.

One (erreur de préposition) the other hand, I desagree (orthographe) with Mary because those differences are critized by a lot of people. Indeed,they are conviced (ortho) of being humans but they are convinces (forme de 'convince' c'est une structure en be+ EN) they belong to the best part of it. This kind of person can adopt an unacceptable behaviour, for example, everyone could notice the madness of segregation, with the ill treatment inflicted toward africans (majuscule), they behaved with them such as animals.
Furthermore, to complete those unreasonable people, we can add the example of the ones whom are always prejudiced, looking for the physical apperances (ortho) of persons. As for them, they see arabs and muslims as terrorists, so they can assault or even try to kill them. In this way, a turban alter to a weapon, so , this person embody (conjugaison) all the fairs for them, whereas, I regard them as the embodies (voc)of ignorance. That is why , they are inhuman, they aren't members of the one (voc)human family.

On the whole, we can say that we are all members of one human family insofar as we share the same skills, origin but we are not all members of this family because ones of us reject foreigners and cannot live in multicoloured and cosmopolitan cities, they are totally inhumans (adjectif invariable en anglais).

Ce ne sont que des détails! Votre texte est écrit dans un bon anglais!

Amicalement

sebastien


Réponse: Correction/ human family de natando, postée le 05-10-2009 à 17:23:16 (S | E)
Merci Sébastien!



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