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Correction/honesty on the internet

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/honesty on the internet
Message de elise01 posté le 19-09-2009 à 13:45:12 (S | E | F)

Bonjour, pourriez-vous m’aider dans la correction de cette introduction à un document:

This document is a colored picture which is entitled “honesty on the internet”. There are two characters: a woman on the left who smokes and types on her computer. She looks unpleasant. She is ugly and she isn’t smart because she wears swimsuit and rabbits slipper. She looks although 60.
The man is on the right and he types on his computers like the woman. He is redneck and isn’t very beautiful. The scene takes place nowadays even if it isn’t recent computers. They are in their houses which aren’t sound clean and tidy because some scrap on the floor or foods nearby the computer. Everyone is at home in front of their computer. They chatted the both on the net and they haven’t seen each others. They pass off as a model for her and as a Chippendale’s dancer for him. They hide behind their computers.

Merci, Elise.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 19-09-2009 14:53


Réponse: Correction/honesty on the internet de seb06000, postée le 19-09-2009 à 13:56:59 (S | E)
Bonjour,

je vous donne les indications de correction

"This document is a colored picture which is entitled “honesty on the internet”. There are two characters: a woman on the left who smokes( vous pouvez utiliser le ^present en ING) and types (idem) on her computer. She looks unpleasant. She is ugly and she isn’t smart because she wears (idem) swimsuit (il manque un article) and rabbits slipper (la marque du pluriel est mal placée). She looks although (Although ne marche pas ici) 60.
The man is on the right and he types (present ing) on his computers like the woman. He is redneck and isn’t very beautiful. The scene takes place nowadays even if it ( sujet inadéquat) isn’t recent computers. They are in their houses which aren’t sound clean and tidy because some scrap on the floor or foods nearby the computer. Everyone is at home in front of (préposition et expression mal choisis) their computer. They chatted the both( construction de Both à revoir+ sa place dans la phrase) on the net and they haven’t seen each others. They pass off ( voc) as a model for her and as a Chippendale’s dancer for him. They hide (temps) behind their computers.

Ce ne sont que des détails, bon courage

sebastien



Réponse: Correction/honesty on the internet de elise01, postée le 20-09-2009 à 13:50:05 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup, voici ma correction au cas où il reste des erreurs:

This document is a colored picture which is entitled “honesty on the internet”. There are two characters: a woman on the left who smoking and typing on her computer. She looks unpleasant. She is ugly and she isn’t smart because she wearing a swimsuit and rabbit slippers. She looks about 60.
The man is on the right and he typing on his computers like the woman. He is redneck and isn’t very beautiful. The scene takes place nowadays even if the computers aren't recent. They are in their houses which aren’t sound clean and tidy because some scrap on the floor or foods nearby the computer. Everyone is at home in view of their computer. The both chatted on the net and they haven’t seen each others. They pass off as a model for her and as a Chippendale’s dancer for him. They hiding behind their computers.

Merci, Elise.


Réponse: Correction/honesty on the internet de laure95, postée le 21-09-2009 à 12:24:58 (S | E)
Bonjour, voici encore des erreurs à corriger:
This document is a colored picture which is entitled “honesty on the internet”. There are two characters: a woman on the left who smoking and typing (présent Be + -ING)on her computer. She looks unpleasant. She is ugly and she isn’t smart because she wearing (même remarque: où est BE?) a swimsuit and rabbit slippers. She looks about (mal dit) 60.
The man is on the right and he typing on his computers (pourquoi le pluriel?) like the woman. He is redneck and isn’t very beautiful. The scene takes place nowadays even if the computers aren't recent. They are in their houses which aren’t sound clean and tidy because some scrap on the floor or foods nearby the computer. Everyone is at home in view of their computer. The both chatted (pourquoi le >prétérit?) on the net and they haven’t seen each others. They pass off as a model for her and as a Chippendale’s dancer for him. They hiding (où est Be?) behind their computers.



Réponse: Correction/honesty on the internet de elise01, postée le 21-09-2009 à 13:21:58 (S | E)
Merci pour votre aide, voici la suite de l'histoire, pourriez-vous svp m'aider dans la correction de ces quelques phrases portant sur la description de l'image d'un homme.

The man is rather plain. He's bald so he may be in her fifties and he is wearing an old shirt which is to short with a slipway, His slipway is old fashionned because its polka-dots. He must drinks too much beer because he has a big belly. He doesn't look like a chippendale's dancer. But he is redneck. He's fat too because he eats whatever like the biscuits box which is on the floor. He must staying a lot of time on his stool because he isn't thin, he doesn't sport every day, He prefers typing on his computers and chatting on the net. He looks single so he wants to meet people and maybe a girlfriend on the net. He talked with a womand and he lies. He is saying on the chat that he is a chippendale's dancer, he doesn't accept the reality and thought to a beautiful man. He is untruthfull.His house sound not clean and tidy because some scraps are on the floor or there are foods nearby the computer or can of beer which drag on the computer.

Merci, Elise.


Réponse: Correction/honesty on the internet de elise01, postée le 23-09-2009 à 16:14:31 (S | E)
Voici l'intégralité du texte que je dois rendre, pourriez-vous svp m'aider dans la correction d'éventuelles erreurs restantes:

This document is a black and white cartoon which is entitled “honesty on the internet”. It is divided into two parts. The part on the left is made up of a woman in front of her computer, and it’s the same situation for the man who is on the right. They are both chatting on the Net. There is a signature in the bottom right-hand corner. The scene is fairly recent, because we can see computers (even if they aren't recent). The characters are in their homes which aren’t clean and tidy because we can see some scrap on the floor or food near the computer.
The woman, who is on the left, is smoking. She must be a chain-smoker. That’s why she looks tired. She is rather plain; she is dressed in her underwear. She wears on her feet, rabbit-shaped slippers which aren’t really smart looking for a woman. She may be in her fifties because she’s wrinkled. She is very thin but she has a big belly so we can assume that she smokes a lot or drinks too much beer. She must spend a lot of time chatting on the net instead of exercising. So she looks unhealthy and doesn’t look like a model. She is probably single because she isn't good-looking and she is looking for a boyfriend on the net.
The man is rather plain. He's bald so he may be in his fifties and he is wearing an old shirt which is too short with an underpant. His underpant is old fashioned because of its polka-dots pattern. He must be drinking too much beer because he has a big belly. He doesn't look like a Chippendale’s dancer. But he is a redneck. He's fat too because he eats junk food like the biscuits box which is on the floor. He must be sitting a lot of his time on his stool because he isn't thin, he doesn't exercise every day. He prefers typing on his computers and chatting on the net. He looks single so he wants to meet people and maybe a girlfriend on the net. He is talking with a woman and he lies. He is saying on the chat that he is a Chippendale’s dancer; he doesn't accept the reality and pretends he is a beautiful man. He is untruthful. His house appears not clean and tidy because some scraps are on the floor or there are foods items nearby the computer or a can of beer which trail on the computer.

Merci, Elise.



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