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Career and idealism/correction (1)

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Career and idealism/correction
Message de micky2403 posté le 03-05-2009 à 18:45:49 (S | E | F)

Bonjour à tous , j'ai une rédaction à réaliser sur le sujet suivant " It is possible to combine career and idealism " Pouvez vous donc me corriger mes erreurs s'il vous plaît ?
Merci Beaucoup
Micky 2403

THE idealism is the act or practice of envisioning things is an ideal form .Poursuit of one's ideals .
Today , The world of work occupy a place more and more important . In thE way , it is possible to combine idealism and profesional career ?
Two view are conflicting .

It's not possible to combine idealism and profesional career , in effeCt , TO RISE IN THE social and profesional LADDER it is necessary to invest absolutely in his profesional carrer what does not leave place for idealism.
For the philosophers , the truth idealism is possible only if MAN is free of the necessity of work . It is really an ideal if we are pay for realize that ? It is necessary to sacrifice his free time for his ideal ? Idealism it's more important THAN his social life ?

However ,in spite of the rate of work more and more dificult , it IS possible to carry on with ideal WITHOUT AS FAR AS IT ENCROACHES UPON the profesional career .Unlike , Idealism is benefical for the profesional career , permite to ACQUIRE new knowledge , a bigger self confident and a relational more easIER .

IT IS possible to combine idealism and profesional career , it is THE case of medical PROFESSIONS or IN THE LAW PROFESSIONS for example .

Idealism DOESN'T imply a total investissment.everyone can carry on his ideal '' à son échélle " in use his time ( voluntary ) , his money ( settlement ) and his knowledge ( like fiona and the text for example .)


So finally , we have proved that it's possible to combine idealism and professional career WITHOUT THAT THE IDEALISME BECOMES A "BRAKE" (pas sure du mot) Unlike l'idéalism TURN OUT TO BE benefical in a professional career .

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Modifié par lucile83 le 03-05-2009 19:04
titre


Réponse: Career and idealism/correction de laure95, postée le 05-05-2009 à 10:39:41 (S | E)
Bonjour, voici ce que tu dois corriger:
THE idealism is the act or practice of envisioning things is an ideal form .Poursuit of one's ideals (ça fait partie de la même phrase?) .
Today , The world of work occupy a place more and more important (mal placé) . In thE (this) way , it is possible to combine idealism and profesional career ? (revoir la construction d'une question) Two view (pluriel) are conflicting .

It's not possible to combine idealism and profesional career , in effeCt (in fact) , TO RISE IN THE social and profesional LADDER it is necessary to invest absolutely in his profesional carrer what (which) does not leave place for idealism.
For the philosophers , the truth idealism is possible only if a MAN is free of the necessity of work . It is really an ideal if we are pay for realize that ? It is necessary to sacrifice his free time for his ideal ? Idealism it's more important THAN his social life ? (à qui renvoie HIS?)

However ,in spite of the rate of work more and more dificult (mal placé) , it IS possible to carry on with an ideal WITHOUT AS FAR AS IT ENCROACHES UPON the profesional career (mal placé).Unlike , Idealism is benefical for the profesional career , permite (orthographe + conjugaison) to ACQUIRE new knowledge , a bigger self confident (nom) and a relational more easIER (mal placé+ revoir la règle du comparatif de supériorité).

IT IS possible to combine idealism and profesional career , it is THE case of medical PROFESSIONS or IN THE LAW PROFESSIONS for example .

Idealism DOESN'T imply a total investissment (orthographe).everyone can carry on his ideal '' à son échélle " in use his time ( voluntary ) , his money ( settlement ) and his knowledge ( like fiona and the text for example .)


So finally , we have proved that it's possible to combine idealism and professional career WITHOUT THAT THE IDEALISME BECOMES A "BRAKE" (pas sure du mot) Unlike l'idéalism TURN (conjugaison) OUT TO BE benefical (orthographe) in a professional career .





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