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Correction-Internet (1)

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Correction-Internet
Message de lycia13 posté le 22-03-2009 à 04:10:25 (S | E | F)

Hello,

Je vous remercie par avance si vous trouvez un peu de temps pour corriger les quelques lignes suivantes à propos d'internet.

Cordialement,

Julie


The new technologies of information and communication whose internet belongs to, still carry huge hopes, but they also arouse some controversies as prove it recent French measure of the French government concerning use of the internet, in particular at the children.
Immense hopes because in some years, they allowed an unprecedented increase of the exchanges, sources of economic and cultural wealth. They contributed to progressive disappearance of borders (today talk to someone to the other end of the world, and even, to see him in live). Internet, proved its efficiency to weave social links between persons, nations, cultures. We recognize the fantastic capacity which it has to multiply the opportunities of meetings (social networks, blog), to allow a sharing of the knowledge, to eliminate prejudices. These new technologies are above all a fantastic way of human expression, about is the shape which it takes (blog, for example) . They also returned knowledge more accessible than ever, and allowed a development of communication: music groups are launched on a career thanks to promotion by the today. However, these technologies intended to facilitate communication, also contributed to dig a multidimensional ditch. Indeed, Internet is also creative of border: a digital gap between industrial nations and poor countries, generational fracture, educational fracture or " to know how to make " (several jopb-seekers have been handicaped in their search by absence of control of technologies. Furthermore, some persons have difficulties seizing the interest of the new technologies for them.
To conclude, a society fruit of the globalization of exchanges should be able to convince each of the new TIC interest while protecting its population from dangers which can be linked there: prevention campaign for children use of the internet (directed by Nadine Morano). Moreover, many European committees abound in the direction of an investment in new technologies. Furthermore, a capital of knowledge is passed on, and young generations could exactly share their science of the internet with the oldest: it would be a just return of things, and a means to fill a gap.



Réponse: Correction-Internet de razzia_55, postée le 22-03-2009 à 12:52:18 (S | E)
Hello, Je vous remercie par avance si vous trouvez un peu de temps pour corriger les quelques lignes suivantes à propos d'internet. Cordialement, Julie
The new technologies of information and communication which internet belongs to, still carry huge hopes, but they also arouse some controversies as recent French measures of the French government proved it ,concerning the use of the internet, in particular for children. the internet allows immense hopes because in some years, there will be an unprecedented increase of exchanges in the economic and cultural wealth. it will contribute to the progressive disappearance of borders (today we can talk to someone wherever he is in the world, and even see him in live). Internet, proved its efficiency to weave social links between persons, nations, cultures. We recognize its fantastic capacity which permits us to multiply the meeting opportunities (social networks, blog), to share knowledge and to eliminate prejudices. These new technologies are above all a fantastic way of human expression. They also make knowledge more accessible than ever, and allow the development of communication: music groups are launched on a career thanks to promotion by the internet today.
However, these technologies ,intended to facilitate communication, also contribute to dig a multidimensional ditch. Indeed, Internet can create borders: a digital gap between industrial nations and poor countries, generational fracture, educational fracture or " to know how to make " (several jopb-seekers have been handicaped in their search by the absence of control of technologies. Furthermore, some persons have difficulties seizing the interest of the new technologies for them.
To conclude, a society which is the fruit of the globalization of exchanges should be able to convince people of the new TIC interest while protecting its population from dangers which can be linked to them: prevention campaign for children use of the internet (directed by Nadine Morano). Moreover, many European committees abound in the direction of an investment in new technologies. Furthermore, a capital of knowledge is passed on, and young generations could exactly share their science of the internet with the oldest: it would be a just return of things, and a means to fill a gap.


Réponse: Correction-Internet de laure95, postée le 22-03-2009 à 14:17:45 (S | E)
Bonjour Julie, voici les erreurs à corriger:
The new technologies of information and communication which internet belongs to, still carry huge hopes, but they also arouse some controversies as recent French measures of the French government proved (present perfect) it ,concerning the use of the internet, in particular for children. the internet allows (choisir 1 autre verbe) immense hopes because in some years, there will be an unprecedented increase of exchanges in the economic and cultural wealth. it will contribute to the progressive disappearance of borders (today we can talk to someone wherever he is in the world (redondance), and even see him in live). Internet, proved (present perfect) its efficiency to weave (pas le bon mot pour les liens) social links between persons, nations, cultures. We recognize its fantastic capacity which permits us to multiply the meeting opportunities (by social networks, blogs), to share knowledge and to eliminate prejudices. These new technologies are above all a fantastic way of human expression. They also make knowledge more accessible than ever, and allow the development of communication: music groups are launched on a career thanks to promotion by the internet today.
However, these technologies ,intended to facilitate communication, also contribute to dig a multidimensional ditch. Indeed, Internet can create some borders: a digital gap between industrial nations and poor countries, generational fracture, educational fracture or " to know how to make " (several jopb-seekers have been handicaped in their search by the absence of control of technologies. Furthermore, some persons have difficulties in seizing the interest of the new technologies for them.
To conclude, a society which is the fruit of the globalization of exchanges should be able to convince people of the new TIC interest while protecting its population from dangers which can be linked to them: prevention campaign for children use of the internet (directed by Nadine Morano). Moreover, many European committees abound in the direction of an investment in new technologies. Furthermore, a capital of knowledge is passed on, and young generations could exactly share their science of the internet with the oldest: it would be a just return of things (mot à mot), and a means to fill a gap.

Very good job.
Good search of vocabulary.




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