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Correction - Self Description
Message de jay48 posté le 14-03-2009 à 23:55:56 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous ! (fin .. bonsoir xD)
Pour me présenter à un échange au Japon, je dois écrire deux rédactions en anglais , et la première porte sur une description de soi-même comportant ce que l'on souhaiterait faire au Japon;
(n'hésitez pas à me dire si ça conviendrait comme type de texte)
Self Description :
My name is Mathieu *. I'm a french boy, and I live in France, in the city of Avignon, near from Marseille. I'm a student, in 1st year of high school. My activities at school are Badminton and Table Tennis. I practise them twice a week. I think the two sports are very difficult, because, although I don't have a lot of problems with Table Tennis, I have to do a lot of progress before become a good badminton player … But, make-sport is not my only one activity, I have a lot of hobbies. I like listening to pop-music, watch TV (especially TV shows), go on the computer, play video games and have fun with my friends. If I had to tell my personality, I'll tell that, at first sight, I'm a person who seems a little shy, but, when people begin to know me a little bit, I'm very talkative. I like talk of everything, and I think it's my favourite pastime. I'm also a very cheerful and curious person ; I am keen to learn a lot of things, School is very important for me and I try my best to have good marks and have a good job later.
If I have the chance to go Japan, I'd like to do a lot of things ! First, I will just have a walk in the city where I am, observing everything which is around me, and listening every piece of conversation I will be able to hear in the street. After, I will go to a game center because I've never been to a place like that in France and I always wanted to know how that was inside. I will also go in a Karaoke to sing all the Japanese songs I like, and do a “Purikura” because I love the concept.. I think they should build some in France ! Japan has a lot of beautiful landscapes, and I want to see some of them during my trip: for example, I'd like to visit some temples and discover Japanese arts like Floral Arranging (“Ikebana”) or Tea Ceremony (“Chanoyu”).
More simply, I want to discover the japanese way of life : see how it is so different than France, meet people .. and of course, make a lot of strides in Japanese !
Merci d'avance à ceux qui prendront le temps de corriger!
Mathieu
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Modifié par lucile83 le 15-03-2009 07:43
Message de jay48 posté le 14-03-2009 à 23:55:56 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous ! (fin .. bonsoir xD)
Pour me présenter à un échange au Japon, je dois écrire deux rédactions en anglais , et la première porte sur une description de soi-même comportant ce que l'on souhaiterait faire au Japon;
(n'hésitez pas à me dire si ça conviendrait comme type de texte)
Self Description :
My name is Mathieu *. I'm a french boy, and I live in France, in the city of Avignon, near from Marseille. I'm a student, in 1st year of high school. My activities at school are Badminton and Table Tennis. I practise them twice a week. I think the two sports are very difficult, because, although I don't have a lot of problems with Table Tennis, I have to do a lot of progress before become a good badminton player … But, make-sport is not my only one activity, I have a lot of hobbies. I like listening to pop-music, watch TV (especially TV shows), go on the computer, play video games and have fun with my friends. If I had to tell my personality, I'll tell that, at first sight, I'm a person who seems a little shy, but, when people begin to know me a little bit, I'm very talkative. I like talk of everything, and I think it's my favourite pastime. I'm also a very cheerful and curious person ; I am keen to learn a lot of things, School is very important for me and I try my best to have good marks and have a good job later.
If I have the chance to go Japan, I'd like to do a lot of things ! First, I will just have a walk in the city where I am, observing everything which is around me, and listening every piece of conversation I will be able to hear in the street. After, I will go to a game center because I've never been to a place like that in France and I always wanted to know how that was inside. I will also go in a Karaoke to sing all the Japanese songs I like, and do a “Purikura” because I love the concept.. I think they should build some in France ! Japan has a lot of beautiful landscapes, and I want to see some of them during my trip: for example, I'd like to visit some temples and discover Japanese arts like Floral Arranging (“Ikebana”) or Tea Ceremony (“Chanoyu”).
More simply, I want to discover the japanese way of life : see how it is so different than France, meet people .. and of course, make a lot of strides in Japanese !
Merci d'avance à ceux qui prendront le temps de corriger!
Mathieu
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 15-03-2009 07:43
Réponse: Correction - Self Description de linsey34, postée le 15-03-2009 à 08:44:35 (S | E)
Dear jay,
en rouge tes erreurs et en vert ma correction:
Self Description :
My name is Mathieu *. I'm a french boy, and I live in France, in the city of Avignon, near
If I have the chance to go to Japan, I'd like to do a lot of things ! First, I will would just have a walk in the city where I am, observing everything which is around me, and listening to every piece of conversation I will be able to hear in the street. After, I will would go to a game center because I've never been to a place like that in France and I have always wanted to know how that was inside. I will would also go in a Karaoke to sing all the Japanese songs I like, and do a “Purikura” because I love the concept.. I think they should build some in France ! Japan has a lot of beautiful landscapes, and I want to see some of them during my trip: for example, I'd like to visit some temples and discover Japanese arts like Floral Arranging (“Ikebana”) or Tea Ceremony (“Chanoyu”).
More simply, I want to discover the japanese way of life : see how it is so different than from France, meet people .. and of course, make a lot of strides in Japanese !
Réponse: Correction - Self Description de jay48, postée le 15-03-2009 à 12:16:35 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour tes corrections linsey =D
Ca va vraiement m'aider !
Je viens de finir la 2eme redaction, qui est une lettre à notre future famille d'accueil si on est prit . Donc si quelqu'un est motivé :
Dear Host Family,
My name is Mathieu *, and I'm 15. I'm a french boy who live in Avignon, in the south east of France, a city well-known for its Bridge (Avignon's bridge) and his “palace of the popes”.
I have one younger brother, *. He's 7 and attends Elementary Schoool. My mother is organising concerts and my father is a guitar teacher. But actually, I don't live with my father, I live with my mother and my stepfather, who is a radio host.
I go to high school, it's my first year. It's more difficult than Junior High School, but I do my best. My favourite subjects are French, History, English, and of course Japanese !
Some of my leisures are : laughing with my friends, listening to music, or watching TV. I'm also very interested about Asian culture, and especially Japan, that's why I always wanted to go there and discover Japanese way of life.
At first, I discovered Japan by the “Drama”. It made me discover Japanese culture, language and music ! But don't worry, I know that life in Japan is not like in a drama !
I learn Japanese since September and I love it. I hope that, one day, I will be able to be fluent in Japanese, but it'll be very difficult. I really count of that program to make some progress. So, I will do my best to speak Japanese as most as I can and try to use english only when it will be necessary.
I hope we'll spend great times together, I can't wait to meet you and start my Japanese life !
Best Regards, Mathieu
Réponse: Correction - Self Description de linsey34, postée le 15-03-2009 à 12:30:43 (S | E)
Hello !!
en rouge tes erreurs et en bleu mes corrections.
J'espère que tu parviendras à aller au Japon car tu as l'air d'un vrai fan !
Courage !!
Your English is quite good for a high school student !
Dear Host Family,
My name is Mathieu *, and I'm 15. I'm a french boy who lives in Avignon, in the south east of France, a city well-known for its Bridge (Avignon's bridge) and his “palace of the popes”.
I have got one younger brother, *. He's 7 and attends Elementary Schoool. My mother is organising concerts and my father is a guitar teacher. But actually, I don't live with my father, I live with my mother and my stepfather, who is a radio host.
I go to high school, it's my first year. It's more difficult than Junior High School, but I do my best. My favourite subjects are French, History, English, and of course Japanese !
Some of my leisures are : laughing with my friends, listening to music, or watching TV. I'm also very interested
At first, I discovered Japan
I learn have been learning Japanese since September and I love it. I hope that, one day, I will be able to be fluent in Japanese, but it'll be very difficult. I really count of on that program to make some progress. So, I will do my best to speak Japanese as most as I can and try to use english only when it
I hope we'll spend great times together, I can't wait to meet you and start my Japanese life !
Best Regards, Mathieu
Réponse: Correction - Self Description de jay48, postée le 15-03-2009 à 17:20:20 (S | E)
Merci encore cette correction si rapide !
Et merci aussi de tes encouragements ça fait vraiement plaisir =)
A bientôt !
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