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Nandira /correction (1)

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Nandira /correction
Message de madinina93 posté le 09-03-2009 à 22:26:06 (S | E | F)

Bonsoir , J'aimerais savoir si mon résumé est correct et si les temps sont cohérents merci

Nandira is an Indian teenager over-protected by her father , Mr Patel who toke a private detective, Mma Ramostwe. But the teenager noticed she was followed and asked the detective why she did that. So the woman told Nandira the truth: her father wanted to know if his daughter saw boys.
Then the detective asked Nandira about a Jack. The teenager confided to her that was a fake boyfriend. She made him up because she wanted her father believe that boy wouldn't right for her.
She hoped once he would realize, he might let her have more freedom and live hers life without be followed every time she spend out. Mma Ramotswe said she could try to persuade him. Then , she drove Nandira to her home. The girl wished the detective would persuade her father to have more freedom.

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Modifié par bridg le 09-03-2009 22:27


Réponse: Nandira /correction de brettdallen, postée le 09-03-2009 à 22:44:28 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Quelques éléments de correction...


Nandira is an Indian teenager over-protected by her father , Mr Patel who toke a private detective, Mma Ramostwe. But the teenager noticed she was followed(ou "being followed") and asked the detective why she did that. So the woman told Nandira the truth: her father wanted to know if his daughter saw boys.
Then the detective asked Nandira about a Jack. The teenager confided to her that was a fake boyfriend. She made him up because she wanted her father(to) believe that boy("he") wouldn't("wasn't") right for her.
She hoped once he would realize, he might let her have more freedom and live hers life without be(preposition +-ing) followed every time she spend(not the right verb) out. Mma Ramotswe said she could try to(ok or "and") persuade him. Then , she drove Nandira to her home. The girl wished the detective would persuade her father to have more freedom.

Je n'ai pas tout corrigé, mais c'est un point de départ.
Cordialement.


Réponse: Nandira /correction de laure95, postée le 10-03-2009 à 11:03:56 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici les erreurs à corriger:
Nandira is an Indian teenager (fais 1 subordonnée) over-protected by her father , Mr Patel who toke (ce n'est pas le prétérit de take) a private detective, Mma Ramostwe. But the teenager noticed she was followed and asked the detective why she did that. So the woman told Nandira the truth: her father wanted to know if his daughter saw (pas le bon temps) boys.
Then the detective asked Nandira about a Jack. The teenager confided to her that (où est le sujet de was?) was a fake boyfriend. She made him up because she wanted her father to believe that boy wouldn't right for her.
She hoped once he would realize, he might let her have more freedom and live hers life without being followed every time she spend out. Mma Ramotswe said she could try to persuade him. Then , she drove Nandira to her home. The girl wished the detective would persuade her father to have more freedom.




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