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Correction / philosopher (1)

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction / philosopher
Message de roulie posté le 23-02-2009 à 15:59:05 (S | E | F)

Bonjour, voilà j'ai une rédaction a faire en anglais, j'aimerais savoir si j'ai fait des fautes, pourriez vous m'aider svp? Je vous remercie d'avance .


If I were philosopher queen of the world, I would change a lot of things. Indeed, today, in my opinion I think that there are a lot of inequalities, poverty, misfortunes and sadness in our world. So I would try to change mentalities and many things.

I would stop all the wars, because, it doesn't matter the cause, violence is not the solution to a problem.A lot of people die for nothing, they don't deserve that. Violence (physic or moral) must dissapear! I would find an agreement's way between nations, for example between Israel and Palestine or U.S.A and Iraq.
I'm convinced that men don't respect themselves and are not tolerant between them. For example, with the religion, I can quote religion's wars in France which were held between 1562 and 1598 and which devasted the kingdom of France (of course mentalities have evolved for this time but it exist still wars of religion now). And today, racism still exist, there are discriminations about a person's origin or a person's color of skin. Someone who is different, maybe because he's ill or handicapped, is not treated like others. I think that it's very stupid and very bad. So I would change all that: everybody would accept other people, discriminations would dissapear, the way of life, the origin or the skin color of a man would cause no problem.We are all egal even if we are different from each other. And I would create more infrastructures for handicapped.
More over, all totalitarian modes, all tyrannies wouldn't exist. There would be only democracies because expression's freedom is very important, what I mean is that each one has the right to express his opinion and to think like he wants. To kill someone because he doesn't agree with the government regime is very cruel ( for example, in Russia, people who dare to defy the Kremlin are punished, like the journalist Anna POLITKOVSKAÏA, killed on october 7,2006)
Then, all the poor would be helped, I would create a lot of refuges where people help them to refind a normal life. Poor countries would receive a lot of things like drugs, vaccines, or food. All the children would go to school, and wouldn't work also young because, today, in the world, 158 millions children of less than 15 years old are subjected to work. Education is the solution.
Finally, none animal would be maltreated because nowadays more and more animals are killed for their fur or their skin, a lot of them suffer enormously and it's horrible, they have feelings like humans, it's unacceptable!
Here all what i would do.

-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 23-02-2009 16:24
titre distinctif


Réponse: Correction / philosopher de azer3, postée le 25-02-2009 à 22:54:06 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici quelques corrections.
If I were philosopher, queen of the world, I would change a lot of things. Indeed, today, in my opinion I think that there are a lot of inequalities, poverty, misfortunes and sadness in our world. So I would try to change mentalities and many other things.

I would stop all the wars, because, it doesn't matter the cause, violence is not the solution to a problem.A lot of people die for nothing, they don't deserve that. Violence (physic or moral) must dissapear! I would find an agreement's way between nations, for example between Israel and Palestine or between U.S.A and Iraq.
I'm convinced that men don't respect themselves and/où est le sujet?/ are not tolerant between them/with each other/. For example, with/for/ the religion, I can quote religion's wars in France which were held between 1562 and 1598 and which devasted the kingdom of France (of course mentalities have evolved for this time but it exist still/inverse et conjugue bien le vebre/ wars of religion now). And today, racism still exist/de même conjugue bien le verbe/, there are discriminations about a person's origin or a person's color of skin/ a person's skin color/. Someone who is different, maybe because he's ill or handicapped, is not treated like others. I think that it's very stupid and very bad. So I would change all that: everybody would accept other people, discriminations would dissapear, the way of life, the origin or the skin color of a man would cause no problem.We are all egal even if we are different from each other. And I would create more infrastructures for handicapped persons.
More over, all totalitarian modes, all tyrannies wouldn't exist. There would be only democracies because expression's freedom is very important, what I mean is that each one has the right to express his opinion and to think like he wants. To kill someone because he doesn't agree with the government regime is very cruel ( for example, in Russia, people who dare to defy the Kremlin are punished, like the journalist Anna POLITKOVSKAÏA, killed on october 7,2006)
Then, all the poor would be helped, I would create a lot of refuges where people help them to refind a normal life. Poor countries would receive a lot of things like drugs, vaccines, or food. All the children would go to school, and wouldn't work alsoso young because, today, in the world, 158 millions children of less thanunder 15 years old are subjected to work. Education is the solution.
Finally, none animal would be maltreated because nowadays more and more animals are killed for their fur or for their skin, a lot of them suffer enormously and it's horrible, they have feelings like humans, it's unacceptable!
Here?? all what i/I/ would do.
Attention aux fautes de traduction mot à mot car parfois on sent que c'est du français.
Amicalement



Réponse: Correction / philosopher de brettdallen, postée le 25-02-2009 à 23:52:43 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
J'apporte quelques éléments de corrections ou commentaires. En faisant un mix, vous arriverez à améliorer l'ensemble.

If I were philosopher queen of the world, I would change a lot of things. Indeed, today, in my opinion I think that there are a lot of inequalities, poverty, misfortunes and sadness in our world. So I would try to change mentalities and many things.(à éviter! cela ressemble à "etc")

I would stop all the wars, because, it doesn't matter the cause(vérifier la traduction de "peu importe"), violence is not the solution to a problem.A lot of people die for nothing,("and") they don't deserve that. Violence (physic(vérifier la traduction de cet adjectif) or moral) must dissapear! I would find an agreement's way(à revoir) between nations, for example between Israel and Palestine or U.S.A and Iraq.
I'm convinced that men don't respect themselves and are not tolerant between them(choix préposition après "tolerant" utilisation du réflexif). For example, with the religion(un peu lourd), I can quote religion's wars(le génitif ne passe pas ici) in France which were held(choix du verbe! pensez à "avoir lieu") between 1562 and 1598 and which devasted(vérifier l'orthographe du verbe) the kingdom of France (of course mentalities have evolved for(non, ce n'est pas "for") this(utiliser "that", il y a distance..) time but it exist still wars of religion now(revoir l'ordre de la phrase dans son intégralité)). And today, racism still exist(hum hum!), there are discriminations about a person's origin or a person's color of skin. Someone who is different, maybe because he's ill or handicapped, is not treated like others. I think that it's very stupid and very bad. So I would change all that: everybody would accept other people, discriminations would dissapear, the way of life, the origin or the skin color of a man would cause no problem.We are all egal(vérifier le mot) even if we are different from each other. And I would create more infrastructures(penser à "facilities") for handicapped(+"people").
More over(one word), all totalitarian modes(vérifier "régime"), all tyrannies wouldn't exist. There would be only democracies because expression's freedom(traduisez "la liberté de parole") is very important, what I mean is that each one has the right to express his opinion and to think like (conjonction: "as")he wants. To kill someone because he doesn't agree with the government regime is very cruel ( for example, in Russia, people who dare to defy the Kremlin are punished, like the journalist Anna POLITKOVSKAÏA, killed on october 7,2006)
Then, all the poor would be helped, I would create a lot of refuges("shelters") where people help them to refind a normal life. Poor countries would receive a lot of things like drugs, vaccines, or food. All the children would go to school, and wouldn't work also(vérifier "si + adjectif") young because, today, in the world, 158 millions(no S) children of less than(ok or "under") 15 years old are subjected to work. Education is the solution.
Finally, none animal would be maltreated because nowadays more and more animals are killed for their fur or their skin, a lot of them suffer enormously and it's horrible, they have feelings like humans,


Réponse: Correction / philosopher de roulie, postée le 26-02-2009 à 11:45:49 (S | E)
Je vous remercie tous énormément, je vais vite corriger tout ca




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