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Correction/advertisement (1)

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Correction/advertisement
Message de nuyoricaine posté le 08-11-2008 à 14:05:07 (S | E | F)

bonjour est-ce que quelqu'un peut me dire si j'ai des fautes pls

This ad is composed of two parts, on the left it's written "before" above a face and on the right there is another face and it's written after.Under the picture there is a sentence.
The fisrt picture shows a woman who is putting lipstick, we can see is face is changing where she put lipstick, the other picture shows the result, the first person is become totally different.The text explain what is happened, the two persons cited were famous actresses
The target of this ad are the women, if someone put this lipstick he will be tranformed into someone else, into a more beautiful person.
In the sentence the word "lipstick" has been replace by the word "cremestick" and the word "coty" doesn't exist

this ad is composed of a title, a picture, a catch phrase, an E-mail address, a text, and the name of the advertiser.
In the middle we can see a face of a man who wears lenses and next to him there are the different models you can find with their name.The price is written in a yellow rond and next to the price there is a sentence who says you can wear lenses even if your vision is perfect but in the text under it's written if you worn contact lenses for cosmetic reasons you should go to an eye care professional because there are risks.
Everbody, even the peoples who have a perfect vision are the targets of this ad.

merci

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 08-11-2008 14:20
titre


Réponse: Correction/advertisement de port58, postée le 08-11-2008 à 14:21:13 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Quelques précisions :
is (ce n'est pas un ajectif possessif et le genre n'est pas correct) face is changing where (ce n'est pas le bon wh...) she put (faute d'accord)
first person is become (ce temps n'existe pas)
The text explain (faute d'accord à la 3ème personne)
what is happened (ce temps n'existe pas)
someone put (faute d'accord à la 3ème personne)
has been replace (participe passé manque)
the peoples (c'est déjà un pluriel)

Port58


Réponse: Correction/advertisement de azer3, postée le 08-11-2008 à 19:23:39 (S | E)
bon soir.
This ad is composed of/by/ two parts, on the left it's written "before" above a face and on the right there is another face and it's written "after".Under the picture there is a sentence.
The fisrt picture shows a woman who is putting/a/ lipstick, we can see her face, he is changing where/whene/ she put/the/ lipstick, the other picture shows the result, the first person is become!!!/became/ totally different.The text explain/s/ what is happened/happening/, the two persons cited were/are/ /a/famous actresses/./
The target of this ad are the/0/ women/, if someone put this lipstick he will be tranformed into/to/ someone else, into/to/ a more beautiful person.
In the sentence the word "lipstick" has been replace by the word "cremestick" and the word "coty" doesn't exist/./

this ad is composed of a title, a picture, a catch phrase, an E-mail address, a text, and the name of the advertiser.
In the middle we can see a face of a man who wears lenses and next/near/ to him there are the different models you can find with their name/there are the different models with their names/.The price is written in a yellow rond/circle/ and next/close to/ the price there is a sentence who says "you can wear lenses even if your vision is perfect" but in the text under it's written "if you worn contact lenses/lenses contact/ for cosmetic reasons you should go to an eye care professional/professional eyes care/ because there are risks".
Everbody, even the peoples who have a perfect vision are the targets of this ad.
Attention au fautes de structuration, de conjugaison, de choix de vocabulaire et de pnctuation. bon chance


Réponse: Correction/advertisement de azer3, postée le 08-11-2008 à 19:38:18 (S | E)
Amicalement.


Réponse: Correction/advertisement de nuyoricaine, postée le 09-11-2008 à 10:33:29 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour votre aide




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