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outward appearances / correction (1)

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outward appearances / correction
Message de lachipiedu51 posté le 08-04-2008 à 13:38:26 (S | E | F)

Bonjour,

J'aimerais savoir si mon introduction qui répond à la question "Is it fair to judge people according to their outward appearance?" est bien ordonnée et si l'orthographe et la grammaire sont justes.
Merci.

People generally think that outward appearrances reflect people's mind. However, neglected or neat people may seem, people can be mistaken about outward appearances' people. So we can wonder if outward appearances reflect people's mind.

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Modifié par bridg le 09-04-2008 19:13
titre distinctif




Réponse: outward appearances / correction de diden, postée le 08-04-2008 à 22:09:30 (S | E)
Bonjour,

People generally think that outward appearrances reflect people's mind. However, neglected or neat people may seem, people can be mistaken about outward appearances' people. So we can wonder if outward appearances reflect people's mind.

I would re-write this as:

People generally think that outward appearances reflect one's state of mind. However, as neglectful or as neat as they may seem, people can be mislead by these appearances. Therefore, we can wonder if outward appearances truly reflect one's state of mind.

J'espère que cela vous aide!
Merci de répondre si vous avez des questions!
Cordialement,

Daniel


Réponse: outward appearances / correction de lachipiedu51, postée le 09-04-2008 à 18:37:16 (S | E)
je te remercie pour ton conseil cela m'aide bcp merci


Réponse: outward appearances / correction de lachipiedu51, postée le 09-04-2008 à 19:02:50 (S | E)
Après l'introduction, il me semblerait judicieux que quelqu'un jette un petit coup d'oeil à ma rédaction ! Que je puisse corriger et reformuler ce qui ne va pas ! Merci


First of all, on the one hand, we can say that outward appearances are rather important in the life. For instance, to seek a job it takes to be equipped well. If the employer saw his potential woeker to take with shaby clothes, he would'nt want to hire him. For consequence we can say that outward appearances play an important role in the society. But even if sometimes outward appearances can be shoking, it doesn't take judge people according to their outward appearances. All the sham, often, we can recognize people's social class thanks to their clothes for example. What's more, poor people wear shaby clothes and they are generally dirty. So sometimes we can judge people according to their outward appearances but there are exceptions.

Nevertheless, on thee other hand, we will see that outward appearances can be misleading, so it doesn't take judge people to their outward appearances. For example, we can say that there are people who neglect their outward appearances but they have got an open state of minf. Moreover we can say that some of people seem to be honest whereas actually they are bdly honest people. So what conclusions can we draw from all that ?

To sum up, we can say that according to the context we can judge people according ti their outward appearances. However, even if honest people may seem , it takes be careful of the outward appearances.
Bon courage !!!
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Modifié par bridg le 09-04-2008 19:11
Pour les membres qui ont la gentillesse de corriger, merci de donner des pistes de réflexion mais de ne pas faire le travail à la place du demandeur. merci de votre compréhension.




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