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L'obésité (correction) (1)

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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L'obésité (correction)
Message de esmax666 posté le 03-04-2008 à 20:54:43 (S | E | F)

Bonjour tout le monde

Je passe un oral d'anglais et je souhaiterais avoir une bonne note pour rattraper les autres
Mon sujet est l'obésité
Pourriez voir si il y a de grosses fautes? ou autre remarques...
J4ai mis des mots sous parenthèse car je ne savais vraiment pas si c'était juste


Merci pour votre aide
Si vous le souhaitez je peux rajouter le powerpoint





I chose the obesity subject because I have read an article on foxnews.com. It relates that more and more people are obese.
As a consequence we can wonder if obesity is a big problem?

I have divided my presentation into three parts. First I will explain what obesity is. Next I will analyze the causes of obesity increase and finally I will speak about the solutions to fight this problem

1) What is obesity?

To begin, I am going to give you the obesity definition. It is an excess of body fat that frequently results in a significant impairment of health. Obesity results when the size or number of fat cells in a person's body increases. When a person gains weight, these fat cells first increase in size and later in number. One pound of body fat represents about 3500 calories.
When a person starts losing weight, the cells decrease in size, but the number of fat cells generally stays the same. This is part of the reason that once you gain a significant amount of weight, it is more difficult to lose it.
For adults, overweight and obesity ranges are determined by using weight and height to calculate a number called the “body mass index” (BMI). BMI is used because, for most people, it correlates with their amount of body fat.
* An adult who has a BMI between 25 and 29.9 is considered overweight.
* An adult who has a BMI higher than 30 is considered obese.
As we can see on this page a lot of countries suffer about obesity. English Countries are the most touched by this problem. The United States Tops the list with 30.6 percent of obese people and France is placed 22nd with 9% of obese.
This picture show that in the United States, the percent of the population that is overweight (BMI 25 to 29.9) or obese (BMI > 30) has increased dramatically over the last years.


Today the children are concerned by this problem too. This graph confirms that Children's obesity has jumped since 1970. The pie chart shows that only half of children has (ou have) a normal weight.
2) What are the causes?

Even if heredity is the main cause of overweight, it is generally caused “too” (aussi) by (a) lack of physical activity, unhealthy eating patterns, or both
Our society has become very sedentary. Television, computer and video games contribute to people's inactive lifestyles.


2b consequence


Obesity is associated with many illnesses and is directly related to increased mortality and lower life expectancy
Being overweight or obese increases the risk of many diseases and health conditions, including the following:
• Hypertension
• Type 2 diabetes
• Stroke
• Sleep apnea and respiratory problems
• Some cancers

We must know that overweight and obesity have a significant economic impact on the U.S. health care system. Medical costs associated with overweight and obesity may involve direct and indirect costs.
In the USA 47 million dollar are spent to threat obesity and 51 million to threat related diseases. The most frequent diseases is diabetes with 63%
------------------
Modifié par bridg le 03-04-2008 20:56
titre


Réponse: L'obésité (correction) de esmax666, postée le 03-04-2008 à 20:55:33 (S | E)

3) What are the solutions?
It’s recommended to have a physical activity For example: swimming, biking, running…
We must reduce the amount of time spending in front of TV, playing video games. It’s better to eat meals in family as often as possible and eat slowly
We must drink water and limit intake of beverages like soft drinks, It’s advice to eat at least 5 fruits and vegetables each day.
Specialists say that diets, exercise and drugs alone don’t result in long term weight loss.
Obesity surgery is the only proven method for obese person to reach normal weight and maintain it. It consists in reducing the height of the stomach to restrict (restreindre) food intake.

In all case if you are overweight or obese, you must get appropriate medical help to reduce your weight and avoid the long-term complications associated with excess body fat.


That’s bring my to my conclusion
Obesity concerned more and more people, adult like children, and it’s become very worrying. We don’t forget that it’s essential to eat slowly and healthy. Moreover it’s recommender to do a physical activity each day. In my opinion, the different governments must immediately take some preventive measures to limit this problem.



Réponse: L'obésité (correction) de esmax666, postée le 05-04-2008 à 09:57:01 (S | E)
bonjour,

Est ce que quelqu'un pourrais m'aider pour le texte? surout sur les phrases avec les mots entre parentheses

sinon je voulais vous demander si il était possible de rassembler les 2 phrases suivantes:


Obesity is associated with many illnesses and is directly related to increased mortality and lower life expectancy
Being overweight or obese increases the risk of many diseases and health conditions, including the following:

Comment la feriez vous?


Réponse: L'obésité (correction) de sitelle, postée le 05-04-2008 à 17:42:06 (S | E)
I chose the obesity subject (ordre des mots)because I have read an article on foxnews.com. It relates that more and more people are obese.
As a consequence we can wonder if>whether obesity is a big problem?

I have divided my presentation into three parts. First I'll explain what obesity is. Next I'll analyze the causes of obesity increase and finally I will speak about the solutions to fight this problem

1) What is obesity?

To begin+ with, I am going to give you the obesity definition(grammaire). It is an excess of body fat that frequently results in a significant impairment of health. Obesity results when the size or number of fat cells in a person's body increases. When a person gains weight, these fat cells first increase in size and later in number. One pound of body fat represents about 3500 calories.
When a person starts losing weight, the cells decrease in size, but the number of fat cells generally stays the same. This is part of the reason that once you gain a significant amount of weight, it is more difficult to lose it.
For adults, overweight and obesity ranges are determined by using weight and height to calculate a number called the “body mass index” (BMI). BMI is used because, for most people, it correlates with their amount of body fat.
* An adult who has a BMI between 25 and 29.9 is considered overweight.
* An adult who has a BMI higher than 30 is considered obese.
As we can see on this page a lot of countries suffer about fromobesity. English Countries meaning?are the most touched by this problem. The United States Tops the list with 30.6 percent of obese people and France is placed 22nd with 9% of obese people.
This picture shows that in the United States, the percentage of the population that is overweight (BMI 25 to 29.9) or obese (BMI > 30) has increased dramatically over the last years.


Today the children are concerned by this problem too. This graph confirms that Children's obesity has jumped since 1970. The pie chart shows that only half of children has (ou have) a normal weight.
2) What are the causes?

Even if heredity is the main cause of overweight, it is generally caused “too” (aussi)as well by (a) lack of physical activity, unhealthy eating patterns, or both
Our society has become very sedentary. Television, computer and video games contribute to people's inactive lifestyles.




-------------------
Modifié par sitelle le 05-04-2008 17:44


Réponse: L'obésité (correction) de esmax666, postée le 06-04-2008 à 11:08:09 (S | E)
1- it's "I chose the subject of obesity"
2-the obesity's definition ?
3- English Countries: US, UK, autralia...
4- it is generally caused as well by a lack of physical activity, unhealthy eating patterns, or both
5 - half of children has (ou have) a normal weight.
it's "Has" ou "have"?
Is that possible that do you see my last part?
We must drink water and limit intake of beverages like soft drinks
adult like children
Est the "like" correct?
thank you !


Réponse: L'obésité (correction) de sitelle, postée le 06-04-2008 à 11:44:54 (S | E)
Réponse: L'obésité (correction) de esmax666, postée le 06-04-2008 à 11:08:09 (S | E)
1- it's "I chose the subject of obesity"
2-the obesity's definition ? non, 'the definition of obesity' on n'emploie le génitif que pour les personnes ou les objets pouvant s'y assimiler: pays, animaux domestiques, bateaux.etc)
3- Englishspeaking Countries:such as US, UK, autralia...
4- it is generally caused as well by a lack of physical activity, unhealthy eating patterns, or both
5 - half of children has (ou have) a normal weight.
it's "Has" ou "have"? les deux sont corrects selon qu'on renvoie à 'children' ou à 'half'
Is that possible that do you see my last part?
We must drink water and limit the intake of beverages like > such as soft drinks
adult like children adults as well as children
Est the "like" correct? non


Réponse: L'obésité (correction) de esmax666, postée le 08-04-2008 à 23:43:18 (S | E)
merci pour les réponses

J'ai encore quelques questions:

1-- pour la phrase je dois rajouter un "the"?

The English speaking Countries are the most touched by this problem
ou
English speaking Countries are the most touched by this problem

2--sinon faut t'il mettre un S dans million et dollar ?

In the USA 47 million dollar are spent to threat obesity and 51 million to threat related diseases

3--J'aurais aimé rajouter une petit mot de transition entre ma problématique et la presentation de mes partie
Est ce que vous savez quoi mettre?

As a consequence we can wonder if obesity is a big problem?
(Exemple: Pour cela)
I have divided my ...


Merci beaucoup !




Réponse: L'obésité (correction) de diden, postée le 09-04-2008 à 04:17:18 (S | E)
1. They are both correct, but the first sounds more natural (with the "the").
2. Pas de 's' dans million mais mets un 's' dans dollars. (47 million dollars are...) De plus, je pense que tu veux dire "treat", et non "threat".
3. Tu peux dire "To this end," ou "For this."
Bonne chance et merci de répondre si tu as des questions.
Daniel


Réponse: L'obésité (correction) de TravisKidd, postée le 09-04-2008 à 05:40:46 (S | E)
47 million dollars IS (it's an amount of money, not really a number of dollars)


Réponse: L'obésité (correction) de esmax666, postée le 09-04-2008 à 14:25:52 (S | E)
Merci pour tte vos reponses
Est ce que vous pensez qu'il y a encore d'autres fautes?


It consists in reducing the height of the stomach to restrict (restreindre) food intake.
il ne faudrait pas mettre plutot
It consists in reducing the height of the stomach to restrict (restreindre) the food of intake. ?

Merci



Réponse: L'obésité (correction) de sitelle, postée le 11-04-2008 à 08:25:40 (S | E)
"Is obesity a big problem ?"
Est ce que c'est juste grammaticalement?


Oui c'est correct grammaticalement, mais il me semble que ce serait mieux avec:
"Is obesity a major problem?"





Réponse: L'obésité (correction) de esmax666, postée le 11-04-2008 à 00:05:55 (S | E)
Bonjour tout le monde,

Alors voila j'ai réalisé un exposé sur l'obésité avec 3 grandes parties:
1) Définition
2) Causes et conséquences
3) Solutions


Et je voulais avoir un avis sur: quelle problématique peut ton poser à ce type de sujet?

J'ai mis: "Is obesity a big problem ?"
Est ce que c'est juste grammaticalement?

Auriez vous d'autres idées ?

merci beaucoup!

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 11-04-2008 10:04
titre


Réponse: L'obésité (correction) de jacques17, postée le 11-04-2008 à 10:43:13 (S | E)
congratulations, good level. jack17


Réponse: L'obésité (correction) de gee, postée le 11-04-2008 à 14:52:03 (S | E)
Sitelle's suggestion for the title "Is obesity a major problem?" is of course formally a more suitable expression. But out of luck it gets rid of the pun.
Obese persons use to be big.
As a matter of fact it's rather a problem of fatness.
To my mind, one should a bit more rack one's brains to find out a more funny headline.
In the way of:
Is obesity a fat or fatal problem?
Is obesity a plumping problem?
...


Réponse: L'obésité (correction) de lucyf, postée le 12-04-2008 à 16:33:49 (S | E)


I have chosen the subject of obesity because I read an article on foxnews.com, which relates that more and more people are obese.
As a consequence we can wonder if obesity is a big problem?

I have divided my presentation into three parts. Firstly I will explain what obesity is. Next I will analyze the causes of this increase in the rate of obesity and finally I will discuss possible solutions to this problem

1) What is obesity?

To begin, I am going to give you the definition of obesity. It is an excess of body fat that frequently results in a significant impairment to health. Obesity results when the size or number of fat cells in a person's body increases. When a person gains weight, these fat cells first increase in size and later in number. One pound of body fat represents about 3500 calories.
When a person starts losing weight, the cells decrease in size, but the number of fat cells generally stays the same. This is part of the reason that once you gain a significant amount of weight, it is more difficult to lose it.
For adults, overweight and obesity ranges are determined by using weight and height to calculate a figure called the “body mass index” (BMI). BMI is used because, for most people, it correlates with their amount of body fat.
* An adult who has a BMI between 25 and 29.9 is considered overweight.
* An adult who has a BMI higher than 30 is considered obese.
As we can see on this page a lot of nations suffer from the problem of obesity. Anglo-saxon Countries are the most affected by this problem. The United States tops the list with 30.6 percent of the population obese and France is placed 22nd with 9% of obese.
This picture shows that in the United States, the percentage of the population that is overweight (BMI 25 to 29.9) or obese (BMI > 30) has increased dramatically over the last few years.


Today children are affected by this problem too. This graph confirms that obesity amongst Children has jumped since 1970. The pie chart shows that only fifty percent of children have a normal weight.
2) What are the causes?

Even if heredity is the main cause of overweight, it is generally also caused by a lack of physical activity, unhealthy eating patterns, or both.
Our society has become very sedentary. Television, computer and video games contribute to people's inactive lifestyles.


2b consequence


Obesity is associated with many illnesses and is directly related to increased mortality and lower life expectancy
Being overweight or obese increases the risk of many diseases and health conditions, including the following:
• Hypertension
• Type 2 diabetes
• Stroke
• Sleep apnoea and respiratory problems
• Some cancers

It follows that that overweight and obesity have a significant economic impact on the U.S. health care system. Medical costs associated with overweight and obesity may involve direct and indirect costs.
In the USA 47 million dollar are spent to tackle obesity and 51 million to combat related diseases. The most frequent disease is diabetes with 63%

3) What are the solutions?
physical activity is recommended. For example: swimming, biking, running…
We must reduce the amount of time spent in front of TV, playing video games. It’s better to eat meals together as a family as often as possible and to eat slowly
We must drink water and limit intake of beverages like soft drinks, It’s advisable to eat at least 5 fruits and vegetables each day.
Specialists say that diet, exercise and drugs alone don’t result in long term weight loss.
Obesity surgery is the only proven method for obese people to reach normal weight and maintain it. It consists of reducing the capacity of the stomach to restrict food intake.

In any case if you are overweight or obese, you must get appropriate medical help to reduce your weight and avoid the long-term complications associated with excess body fat.


That brings me to my to my conclusion
Obesity concerns more and




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