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Exam (1)

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Exam
Message de zubok posté le 01-04-2008 à 00:25:19 (S | E | F)

Bonjour, j aimerais bien que quelqu'un jete un coup d'oeil à mes 2 textes: Le premier à propos de la violence qui entoure la jeunesse actuelle, et le second à propos de la cruauté envers les animaux.
Une opignon personnelle accompagne chaque résumé à propos des 2 sujets.
En vous remerciant d'avance...

First text:
Researches show us that there is more and more violence on television and in videos games. It leads young teenagers and children to have an aggressive behavior.
Parents should be attentive to everything that their children do. Parents must protect them from sexual and violent imagery.
Films and video games influence children. For example, in England, a teenager has killed a 14 years old boy because his heroes doe it in video games. Another teenager killed his best friend after watching 100 times “Queen of the Damned”.
A lot of teenagers are vulnerable, so they shouldn’t watch films with an hardcore contempt, because they could become aggressive or violent like actors in films.
Other researches show that boys are more vulnerable than girls because they are more exposed to violent material.
It is easier to access to this kind of material nowadays thanks to new technologies like internet and cable television.

Comment:
For my part, I consider that there is a lot of violence on television and on internet nowadays, without forgetting that there is more and more sexual imagery on internet. I think that we have to admit, profanity and violence on television has gotten out of control.
Parents should keep an eye on their children when there are on internet, and they should stay with them when they watch television in the evenings.
Vulnerable children can be traumatized… Simply telling children that those images aren't real won't console them, because they can't yet distinguish between fantasy and reality.
But in another hand, I can say that I grew up watching violent movies from a very early age and I have to agree that I never thought of applying anything that I saw to real life. I just think that some people are not stable enough to watch such things, while others are. It depends of people…

Second text:
Over the past year, there seems to have been an influx of news stories focused on the abuse of animals. The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (The RSPCA) wants to protect animals which live in atrocious conditions.
Cruel acts on animals rose by 17,5 percent last year. The worst of it all is that the people who do the most horrible cruel acts are not found.
The RSPCA says that all pets must be miccrochipped. Because with this kind of technology, the RSPCA will know who are the animals’ owners. Justice will be able to trace owners who commit cruel acts on their animals.
RSPCA’s director wants to introduce the idea of an obligatory microchip when someone takes on an animal.
The RSPCA was confronted with some cruel cases: for example, a dog thrown from a car, a three-foot iguana without tail and other unimaginable acts…

Comment:
Animal cruelty is not just bad; it is horrible, awful… I think that animals must be considered like humans. I don’t understand why people kill or are cruel with animals just for fun. I don't understand why people are so hateful.
People who act like that should never have animals again, and they should pay a huge fine, or they should maybe go to prison.
Animals like dogs and cats depend on us for food and refuge, and in return they give us love and loyalty. Being cruel with them is not a good way to thank them.
Education is very important to prevent cruelty to animals. Children not only need to learn what they shouldn't do, but also what they can and should do.
I think that if you can hurt and kill an animal you can also kill a human. So these kinds of people are very dangerous…




Réponse: Exam de joey93, postée le 01-04-2008 à 15:15:31 (S | E)
Bonjour Zubok,
je pense que le terme "images" conviendrait mieux.
"A teenage KILLED", c'est un fait passé, il faut faire attention, car en français, le passé composé ne se traduit pas forcément par le présent perfect.
"his heroes did it", emploi du prétérit, car c'est un fait passé.
"like THE internet", et "on the internet".
"sexual images on the internet".
"profity and violence", sont deux sujets dans ta phrase, donc "HAVE gotten"
"they can't distinguish fantasy from reality"
"but on the other hand"
"I have to say", "agree" s'emploi plus pour dire que tu es d'accord avec les propos que tient une personne, d'ailleurs, on dit "agree with"
"I have never thought", emploi du présent perfect car il y a l'adverbe "never"
"It depends" est j'en suis pratiquement sûre toujours suivi de "on", donc "it depends on" mais cette formulation ne conviendrait pas avec "people" je pense.
Jespère t'avoir aidé pr ton premier texte; Joey.




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