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Lettre famille d'accueil - Correctio (1)

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Lettre famille d'accueil - Correctio
Message de roosty posté le 24-03-2008 à 19:05:26 (S | E | F)

Bonjour, je suis tout nouveau ici, pour une éventuelle présentation, elle est inscrite dans ma lettre ci dessous

Alors voila, ce serait pour m'aider à corriger une lettre que j'envoie à ma famille d'accueil à Londres pour un voyage de six mois. Je ne suis pas très bon en anglais, mais mon projet étudiant m'oblige à faire des efforts dans cette matière. Si vous pouviez me donner un p'tit coup de pouce sur ce travail, ce serait nickel. Merci d'avance =)


Dear family,

I've just been informed you are my host family during my cultural travel in London. I'm so happy to going to the United Kingdom because it has always been such a dream to me!

I write to you this letter to express may appreciation for hosting me and in order to describe me. I'm a 18-year-old boy, tall with brown hair and green eyes. I live in the south of the France since I was born and I wouldlike go in London for a long times. What for ? In order to discover the english's population and improve my english skill.

I'm studying in a scientific class and I project to enter in a Trade School after my elementary studies. I am friendly, sociable, funny, but also workers and ambitious. I will gladly family in his household stains and bow me to your requests.

I practice tennis and I play at Rugby. I understand that you have children of my age, it goes without saying that I would be happy to play with them.

During my stay of six months, I expect to find me a job server in a restaurant London-to give me a few sorties discotheques in England. I can assure you, they will be far from daily.

I cannot way to arrive ! Please contact me if you require further details.

Yours truly,

Thomas ***


Réponse: Lettre famille d'accueil - Correctio de nick27, postée le 24-03-2008 à 19:32:33 (S | E)
I've put in red what needs to be changed


I've just been informed you are my host family during my cultural travel (trip)in London. I'm so happy to going to the United Kingdom because it has always been such a dream to me!

I write to you this letter to express may appreciation for hosting me

and in order to describe me. I'm a 18-year-old boy, tall with brown hair and green eyes. I live in the south of the France since I was born and I wouldlike XXgo in London for a long times. What for ? In order to discover the english's population and improve my english skills

I'm studying in a scientific class and I project to enter in a Trade School after my elementary studies. I am friendly, sociable, funny, but also workers and ambitious. I will gladly family in his household stains and bow me to your requests.

I practice => play tennis and rugby

and I play at Rugby. I understand that you have children of my age, it goes without saying => needless to say

that I would be happy to play with them.
=> Umm maybe you mean "to have a good time with them" because "playing with them" sounds a little childish

During my stay of six months => During my six-month stay

, I expect to find me a job AS a server in a restaurant London-

to give me a few sorties discotheques in England. => ?? Do you mean "to have to opportunity to go out/to go to nightclubs


I can assure you, they will be far from daily. => I can assure you it will not become a routine



I cannot waitto arrive ! Please contact me if you require/needfurther details.




Réponse: Lettre famille d'accueil - Correctio de violet91, postée le 24-03-2008 à 20:45:43 (S | E)

Hello,

A few remarks:

I am writing you this letter to introduce myself and thank you for having me in your home as a guest----to describe myself(pron.réfléchi)---cultural stay---I have lived in south of France since...-To go to London for quite a while--I want to make acquaintance with English people and life overthere. I plan to register a High Trade School---I am easy-going,friendly,hard-working and helpful . I practise rugby : I would like to play with your children if they do ,too. ----I easily give a hand in every day's housework when necessary. I intend to look for a part-time job as a waiter in a London restaurant.--I wish to earn money by myself.---i know London is a trendy place for young people : maybe you'll be able to advise me for the names of discoes (nightclubs)(although I won't go out very often)---i am eager to arrive and meet you. i am looking forward so much to travelling . See you. All the best...


voilà de quoi structurer au mieux une lettre de présentation avec ,aussi .les ajouts de nick(*gram.) Enjoy yourself,you're going to love it!violet


Réponse: Lettre famille d'accueil - Correctio de roosty, postée le 25-03-2008 à 18:44:50 (S | E)
Merci énormément à tout les deux, voici ce que donne ma version modifiée:

Dear family,

I've just been informed you are my host family during my cultural travel on London. I'm so happy to go to the United Kingdom because it has always been such a dream for me!

I'm writing to you this letter to introduce myself and thank you for having me in your home as a guest and in order to describe myself. I'm a 18-year-old boy, tall with brown hair and green eyes. I have lived in south of France since I was born and I would like to go to London for quite a while . What for ? In order to discover the English's population and improve my english skill.

I'm studying in a scientific class and I plan to register a High Trade School after my elementary studies. I am easy-going,friendly,hard-working and helpful . I easily give a hand in every day's housework when necessary.

I play tennis and rugby. I understand that you have children of my age, needless to say that I would be happy to have a good time with them.

During my stay of six months, I expect to find a job as server in a restaurant in order to have to opportunity to go to nightclubs.I know London is a trendy place for young people : maybe you'll be able to advise me for the names of discos. I can assure you it will not become a routine.

I am eager to arrive and meet you ! I am looking forward so much to travelling . Please contact me if you require further details.

Yours truly,

Thomas ***


Réponse: Lettre famille d'accueil - Correctio de violet91, postée le 25-03-2008 à 22:28:32 (S | E)

hello,roosty,That is much better ,now.

A few more remarks:

ponctuation après guest(n°1):point final.----Lier ensuite So that you can imagine what I look like,let me decsribe myself : I am..-----English (tjrs une majuscule aux adj.de nationalité)---secondary studies---A waiter in a restaurant---I would like to earn some money for going out now and again (de tps en tps)---Not a routine : a habit! ----


That's all ,I think. Good luck! Enjoy England ! violet


Réponse: Lettre famille d'accueil - Correctio de nick27, postée le 25-03-2008 à 22:41:29 (S | E)
Well actually I think "habit" and "routine" basically mean the same thing... but I acknowledge "habit" might be better here




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