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Votre futur (correction) (1)

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Votre futur (correction)
Message de soso2005 posté le 03-11-2007 à 15:47:02 (S | E | F | I)

Bonjour.
Pourriez-vous m'aider à corriger ma rédaction s'il vous plaît?

Donc le sujet de la rédaction c'est : "How do you imagine your future life" soit "Comment imagines-tu ta future vie ?"


To begin I will do baby-sitting during weekend and school holidays when I have driving licence.Summer 2008 I'm going to take part in leisure centre as the instructor help to confirm my base BAFA (Certificate for activity leaders in a holiday camp).Then during 2008 to 2009 I will do my last BAFA level to be recognizeded as been activity leader BAFA.At the moment in lower sixt after the bac I'm going to go in a youth worker school and I will make for an other infancy school if I don't have competitive examination.With regard to my private life I want get married about 25 years and have 3 children : two girls and one boy that since ten years age ago.Next I will go live in Aquitaine region where there is much sun especially in summer and to keep contact with my family who live in North of France I will be visit their from time to time.Then I will have animals and I will join association for endangered animals defence : this is my dream for a long time.Lastly I will do manual activity when I be in retirement.

Voilà si quelqu'un est fort en anglais surtout en conjugaison parce que c'est là que je doute un peu de moi...

Merci beaucoup d'avance ! : D

-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 03-11-2007 15:47
Merci de ne jamais écrire en sms sur le site. / Titre changé


Réponse: Votre futur (correction) de aud18, postée le 03-11-2007 à 16:07:41 (S | E)
Bonjour ! Voilà ce que j'ai relevé. Il reste sûrement des choses mais ça t'avancera un peu

To begin I will do baby-sitting during XX(préposition) weekend and school holidays when I have driving (temps!)licence.XX (préposition)Summer 2008 I'm going to take part in leisure centre as the instructor help to confirm my base BAFA (Certificate for activity leaders in a holiday camp).Then during(from conviens mieux ici) 2008 to 2009 I will do my last BAFA level to be recognizeded as been XX(préposition) activity leader BAFA.At the moment XXXX(un verbe au présent ici sinon phrase incompréhensible!) in lower sixt after the bac I'm going to go in a youth worker school and I will make for an other infancy school if I don't have competitive examination.With(pas with mais...) regard to my private life I want XX(préposition) get married about 25 years and have 3 children : two girls and one boy that since ten years age ago(???).Next I will go live in XX(préposition) Aquitaine region where there is much sun especially in summer and to keep contact with my family who live in North of France I will be visit their(pas their mais...) from time to time.Then I will have animals and I will join XX(préposition) association for endangered animals defence : this is my dream for a long time.Lastly I will do manual activity when I XX(au futur) be in retirement.



Réponse: Votre futur (correction) de soso2005, postée le 03-11-2007 à 18:34:42 (S | E)
To begin I will do baby-sitting during the weekend and school holidays when I have driving licence.At summer 2008 I'm going to take part in leisure centre as the instructor help to confirm my base BAFA (Certificate for activity leaders in a holiday camp).Then from 2008 to 2009 I will do my last BAFA level to be recognizeded as been an activity leader BAFA.At the moment I am in lower sixt after the bac I'm going to go in a youth worker school and I will make for an other infancy school if I don't have competitive examination.For regard to my private life I want me get married about 25 years and have 3 children : two girls and one boy that I have had ten years.Next I will go live in the Aquitaine region where there is much sun especially in summer and to keep contact with my family who live in North of France I will be visit her from time to time.Then I will have animals and I will join an association for endangered animals defence : this is my dream for a long time.Lastly I will do manual activity when I will be in retirement.



Réponse: Votre futur (correction) de soso2005, postée le 03-11-2007 à 18:35:47 (S | E)
Voilà j'ai corrigé ce que tu m'as dis de corriger je sais pas si c'est bon...^^


Réponse: Votre futur (correction) de aud18, postée le 03-11-2007 à 20:14:22 (S | E)
Encore quelques modifications pour ma part, il doit rester des erreurs je pense . J'espère que ça t'aidera

To begin I will do baby-sitting during the weekend and school holidays when I XX (futur ! quand tu l'aura...)have driving licence.(...)
For (As regards : en ce qui concerne) regard to my private life I want me ( I want to !) get married about 25 years and I (selon la suite,je sais que tu les a eu donc remettre le pronom sujet)have 3 children : two girls and one boy that I have had ten years ago.Next I will go live in the Aquitaine region where there is more sun especially in summer and to keep contact with my family who live in North of France I will be visit her from time to time.(...)






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