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traduction difficile (1)

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traduction difficile
Message de steph21 posté le 10-09-2007 à 17:07:44 (S | E | F | I)

Bonjour, je dois rédiger la traduction d'un texte en français et je suis très nulle. Il s'agit d'une vente dans un magasin de vêtements pour enfants. Quelqu'un peut-il m'aider à corriger mes fautes, je ne suis pas sûre des expressions utilisées. D'avance, un grand merci.
-Hello, Madam, Sir? I may help you ?
-No, thank you, we only wish to look !
-I would like just to explain you the arrangement of the store !
-In this place, you will find clothes for girl, from 8 to 10 years then from 2 to 7 years ! Here, the corner of the babies, of 1 month at the age of 2, girl and boy. And finally, here, the boys from 2 to 7 years old and from 8 to 14 years ! I let at you look quietly.
-I saw a garment in shop window, a dress with a vest, it is for my granddaughter who was not born yet !
-Yes, naturally, follow me, I am going to present you the model. Here is. From 6 months. When does the mom have to deliver ?
-In a one month. I think that 6 months will make the affair !
-I have just sold the vest, I am going to look in the reserve if I have one. I return at once. It is good, I have it. I propose you tights as well as t-shirt wich goes under the dress.
- It is very well, we take everything, as well as the scarf and the hat matched.
-Do you wish a package present?
-No, thank you, we travel.
-I can leave the box present with flat, if you wish it !
-Yes, thank you. How much I owe to you ?
-75.50 euro, please.
-In credit card !
-I thank you and wish you a good stay in France.
-Thank you Madam, goodbye.


Réponse: traduction difficile de nick27, postée le 10-09-2007 à 20:03:23 (S | E)
Hello !
J'ai mis en rouge les éléments à revoir et quelques explications en bleu

-Hello, Madam, Sir? I may help you ?
=> "Monsieur" et "Madame" sont souvent omis dans ces situations : on dit juste "good morning" (selon le moment de la journée)
=> Deuxième partie de la phrase : ordre des mots à revoir



-No, thank you, we only wish to look !
=> Ce n'est pas la phrase que l'on répond habituellement

-I would like just to explain you the arrangement of the store !

-In this place, you will find clothes for girl, from 8 to 10 years then from 2 to 7 years ! Here, the corner of the babies, of 1 month at the age of 2, girl and boy. And finally, here, the boys from 2 to 7 years old and from 8 to 14 years ! I let at you look quietly.
=> Ici, c'est traduit beaucoup trop par rapport au français. Revois tes constructions et la façon d'exprimer l'âge dans ce cas-ci.


-I saw a garment in XX shop window, a dress with a vest, it is for my granddaughter who was not born yet !
=> "garment" est d'un registre trop formel dans une telle situation.

-Yes, naturally, follow me, I am going to present you the model. Here is. From 6 months. When does the mom have to deliver ?
=> Quelques erreurs de temps.
=> "When is the mommy supposed to deliver?"

-In a one month. I think that 6 months will make the affair !
=> Traduction trop littérale !

-I have just sold the vest, I am going to look in the reserve if I have one. I return at once. It is good, I have it. I propose you tights as well as t-shirt wich "goes" under the dress.

- It is very well, we take everything, as well as the scarf and the hat matched.

-Do you wish a package present?

-No, thank you, we travel.

-I can leave the box present with flat, if you wish it !
=> Que veux-tu dire?

-Yes, thank you. How much I owe to you ?

-75.50 euro, please.

-In credit card !
=> Can I pay with my credit card?

-I thank you and wish you a good stay in France.

-Thank you Madam, goodbye.


Comme tu l'auras compris, il y a beaucoup de points à revoir.
Bonne chance



Réponse: traduction difficile de steph21, postée le 10-09-2007 à 21:40:33 (S | E)
Merci encore à nick27.
J'ai apporté des modifs à ma discussion, est-ce que je m'approche du sans faute (expression, orthographe, ordre des mots)?

-good morning, can I help you ?
-no, thank you, we're just looking!
-I just would like explain to you the arrangement of the store. In this place, you will find girl's clothes, from 8 to 14 years then from 2 to 7 years ! Here, the corner of the babies, from 1 month to 2 years, girl and boy. And finally the boy's department, with two age group like the girls.I let you see !
-I saw some clothes in the window, a dress with a vest, it is for my granddaughter. She's not born yet !
-Yes, of course, fallow me! I'll show you the model. It beginns at 6 months. When is the mommy supposed to deliver?
-In one month! I think 6 months it's a good size!
-I have just sold the vest. I have to look in the stock if I have one. I come back. It is good, I have it. I propose you tights and a t-shirt to wear with the dress !
-It's very cut, we buy everything. Can I have the scarf and the hat to put with ?
-Yes. Do you want a gift box ?
-No, thank you. It's too big for our suitecases !
-I let it flat, if you want !
-Yes, thank you. How much is it?
-75.50 euros, please
-Can I pay with my credit card ?
-Yes, you can
-Thank you and I wish you a good stay in France
-Thank you very much, goodbye


Réponse: traduction difficile de nick27, postée le 10-09-2007 à 22:07:41 (S | E)
C'est beaucoup mieux! Bravo
Je te mets, maintenant, les phrases qui comportent encore des fautes en rouge.


-good morning, can I help you ?

-no, thank you, we're just looking!

-I just would like explain to you the arrangement of the store. In this place, you will find girl's clothes, from 8 to 14 years then from 2 to 7 years ! Here, the corner of the babies, from 1 month to 2 years, girl and boy. And finally the boy's department, with two age group like the girls.I let you see !

-I saw some clothes in the window, a dress with a vest, it is for my granddaughter. She's not born yet !

-Yes, of course, fallow me! I'll show you the model. It beginns at 6 months. When is the mommy supposed to deliver?

-In one month! I think 6 months it's a good size!

-I have just sold the vest. I have to look in the stock if I have one. I come back. It is good (=OK), I have it. I propose you tights and a t-shirt to wear with the dress !

-It's very cut, we buy everything. Can I have the scarf and the hat to put with ?

-Yes. Do you want a gift box ?

-No, thank you. It's too big for our suitecases !

-I let it flat, if you want !
=> Utilise le verbe "unfold" (déplier)

-Yes, thank you. How much is it?

-75.50 euros, please

-Can I pay with my credit card ?
-Yes, you can
-Thank you and I wish you a good stay in France-Thank you very much, goodbye


Réponse: traduction difficile de steph21, postée le 10-09-2007 à 22:35:38 (S | E)
re-moi, nick27, encore des erreurs ??

girl's clothes, là je sèche !
follow me !
it startes at 6 month !
I think 6 month is a good size !
I'm going back !
It's Ok, I have it !
It's very cute !
We'll buy everything
I don't unfold it, if you want !


Réponse: traduction difficile de steph21, postée le 10-09-2007 à 22:42:55 (S | E)
it starts


Réponse: traduction difficile de nick27, postée le 10-09-2007 à 22:45:19 (S | E)
girl's clothes, là je sèche !=> "pour les filles" => for girls
donc => vêtements pour filles => Girls' clothes


follow me !

it starts at 6 month !

I think 6 month is a good size !

I'm going back !
=> I'll be back

It's Ok, I have it !

It's very cute !
We'll buy everything
I don't unfold it, if you want !

-------------------
Modifié par nick27 le 11-09-2007 09:44


Réponse: traduction difficile de steph21, postée le 10-09-2007 à 22:58:14 (S | E)
it starts on 6 month
I think 6 month is a good size, je ne vois pas!
I don't unfold it, je ne vois pas non plus !
désolée, mais je n'ai plus d'idée...


Réponse: traduction difficile de nick27, postée le 10-09-2007 à 23:15:04 (S | E)
it starts from 6 months
I think 6 months is a good size
I won't unfold it if you don't want me to.




Réponse: traduction difficile de TravisKidd, postée le 10-09-2007 à 23:48:24 (S | E)
Girls' clothes. (There should be an apostrophe, otherwise you could just say "girl clothes" with no S, but this is less common in a store.)

No thank you, we're just browsing. (to browse = to peruse, to look around but not for anything in particular.)


Réponse: traduction difficile de nick27, postée le 11-09-2007 à 09:44:20 (S | E)
Merci TravisKidd, j'avais oublié l'apostrophe




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