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Toefl/correction 4

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais : Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Toefl/correction 4
Message de louanna posté le 16-09-2020 à 08:15:01 (S | E | F)
Bonjour : je souhaite passer le TOEFL en octobre, malheureusement je n'arrive pas à évaluer mon niveau en WRITING et SPEAKING, je vais poster 5 Expressions Ecrites Libres, si quelqu'un pouvait me corriger ce serait super ! merci beaucoup

People work because they need money to live. What are some other reasons that people work ? Discuss one or more of these reasons? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

We work usually from 8 AM to 6 PM, it takes a lot of time in our life and we do it because we need money to live. But this isn’t the only one reason, I think there are three more reasons to work.

For some family, being a doctor or a lawyer is respectful. Because of that, a lot of children try to take this way and make their family proud. In my experience, all men in my family are working in buildings construction, I am a girl so I am not concerned but if I was I boy, I think I’ll do the same job that my father is doing.

Secondly, it’s important to consider that some job are amazing. For example Footballer is a rare job and a lot of people admire this one. But it requires a lot of training and determination. Some people are attracted by this kind of job and it explain why they work.

Finally, when there is no money, there is usually passion. Some job don’t give a lot of money but are loved. For example, in France, being a teacher is really bad paid. Yet, if you question teachers they’ll tell you that they love their job because they like contact with student, they like teach a discipline to other people, they like seeing us being successful...

To sup up, I think that there isn’t just money in our interests. For some people this is making the family proud of them, for other this is doing an amazing work, and sometimes this is just because they are passioned by this work.


------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 16-09-2020 09:24
Gris



Réponse : Toefl/correction 4 de here4u, postée le 16-09-2020 à 16:01:56 (S | E)
Hello!

underlined= not really wrong, but not idiomatic
blue= wrong !


We work usually(word order) from 8 AM to 6 PM, it(Boff!) takes a lot of time in our life and we do it because we need money to live. But this isn’t the only one reason, I think there are three more reasons to work.

For some family, being a doctor or a lawyer is respectful. Because of that, a lot of children try to take this way and make their family proud. In my experience, all men in my family are working in buildings construction, I am a girl so I am not concerned(Why not?) but if I was I boy, I think I’ll do the same job that my father is doing.

Secondly, it’s important to consider that some job(plural!) are amazing. For example xxxxx x Footballer is a rare job and a lot of people admire this one. But it requires a lot of training and determination. Some people are attracted by this kind of job and it explain why they work.

Finally, when there is no money, there is usually passion.(? Not clear!) Some job don’t give a lot of money but are loved. For example, in France, being a teacher is really bad paid. Yet, if you question teachers they’ll tell you that they love their job because they like contact with student, they like teach a discipline to other people, they like seeing us being successful...

To sup up, I think that there isn’t just money in our interests. For some people this is making the family proud of them, for other this is doing an amazing work, and sometimes this is just because they are passioned by this work.



Réponse : Toefl/correction 4 de elizabethf, postée le 16-09-2020 à 16:06:07 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Que faites-vous pour vous entraîner sur le "speaking" ?
Il y a de bonnes choses. Après il est bien de varier un peu en mettant des synonymes. Il y a une phrase que je n'ai pas comprise. Some est toujours suivi du pluriel ou de nom indénombrables (some milk : du lait, some people : des gens, quelques personnes). N'hésitez pas à me faire un retour si vous avez des questions ?
Elizabeth

People work because they need money to live. What are some other reasons that people work ? Discuss one or more of these reasons? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

We usually work from 8 AM to 6 PM, it takes a lot of time in our lives and we do it because we need money to live (we need to earn a living = gagner sa vie). But this isn’t the only reason, I think there are three more reasons why people work.

For some families, being a doctor or a lawyer is respectful. Because of that, a lot of children try to take this way and make their family proud. In my experience, all men in my family are working in buildings construction, I am a girl so I am not concerned but if I were a boy, I think I’ll do the same job that my father is doing.

Secondly, it’s important to consider that some jobs are amazing. For example a Football player is a rare job and a lot of people admire it. But it requires a lot of training and determination. Some people are attracted by this kind of job and it explains why they work.

Finally, when there is no money, there is usually passion. Some jobs don’t give a lot of money but are loved. For example, in France, being a teacher is really poorly paid. Yet, if you question teachers they’ll tell you that they love their job because they like contact with students, they like teaching a discipline to other people, they like seeing us being successful...a call = une vocation

To sum up, I think that there isn’t just money in our interests (what do you mean?). For some people it is making the family proud of them, for other it is doing an amazing work, and sometimes it is just because they are passioned by their occupations.



Réponse : Toefl/correction 4 de gerold, postée le 16-09-2020 à 17:50:08 (S | E)
Bonjour
For some families, being a doctor or a lawyer is respectful.
À mon avis, une profession n’est pas « respectful », mais « respectable » (ou « honourable »). 




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