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Spaces and reciprocities/Bac

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Spaces and reciprocities/Bac
Message de moona posté le 11-05-2019 à 10:09:32 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous !
Voici le script d'une de mes notions pour le Bac, serait-il possible de m'aider à corriger mes fautes ?
Merci d'avance pour toutes vos propositions.

The notion I’m going to deal with is “Space and reciprocities”. To begin with, I’d just like to give a short definition of these two words. Space can be defined as a continuous unlimited area which may contain objects or not. Reciprocity is a mutual action, interchanges of goods or privileges between countries and organisations. Everyone can exchange though trade, social networks, travelling or just by speaking, learning new languages. Exchanges have shaped and characterized our modern-day world but they are also a way to unify peoples. That’s what we will see by answering this question: To what extent are exchanges a way to unify peoples? We will see first how media and then music are ways to unify peoples, to convey feelings, hope…

When I think to exchanges and communication, the first thing that come to my mind is the use of social media. These communication tools are taking more and more parts in our society. Linked with the explosion of progress, their use have been extended to all generations, especially to teenagers. Nowadays the majority of the population has these new technologies like smartphones or computers which allow us to communicate quite instantly with everyone through social media. Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and so on are ways to create new characters and new lives. That’s what we’ve seen in class by studying an extract from a The Terrible Privacy of Maxwell Sim by Jonathan Coe called “SouthCoastLizzie on Mumsnet”. The protagonist, Maxwell Sim broke up with his wife Caroline and tried to get in touch with her again. That’s why he decided to joined Mumsnet, the most popular website for parents, with the user name “SouthCoastLizzie”. He pretended to be a single mother, invented him a life and tried to follow his ex-wife. This example shows really clearly that media allow us to communicate with others, to exchange, but they are able to separate us from the real world by creating a fictional life. Moreover I think that communication with social media are not very true, I don’t think that we really communicate, we are just chatting.

That’s why I chose another way to unify people which I think more appropriate or relevant. Music is for me a very particular way of exchange, music is better than words because we don’t need language to understand it. Everyone, from every country is able to understand music, to appreciate it. Music is for me a symbol of peace, of unity. I really liked what we studied in class for this part because I think that it represents very well what I would like to say. We studied an article from The Times called “All together for jazz and kisses”. In this text we saw that young musicians from London went on a tour to the white suburbs and black townships of South Africa. We don’t really know what their goal was initially, but I will focus on results they got. These young musicians went to black townships renowned for violence and brutality. They played music for these poor and rejected people and that was a way to create exchanges, links and friendliness. Some young musicians said after that “they felt so privileged and humbled by what they have seen”, because they succeeded to convey joy, happiness and peace through music and that is that I love in music. Giving feelings, express myself and going in another world when I play. That’s why I think music is the best way to unify people.

To conclude, we’ve seen that social media are ways to exchange, to reduce time and distances. We can create new lives, post everything, discuss with everybody. But I don’t think that exchanges in social media are real, nothing would replace oral communication. When we speak with someone aside us, it’s all our body which speak (là je crois que ma phrase est trop calquée sur le français mais je ne sais pas comment la reformuler), our eyes, our hands, … That’s why I don’t really like speaking through social media and I prefer music. Music is for me the best way to unify people, to pour out our heart. Music is symbol of peace, it’s something which can go beyond languages, words and cultures.


-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 11-05-2019 11:24




Réponse : Spaces and reciprocities/Bac de lucile83, postée le 11-05-2019 à 22:23:24 (S | E)
anyone?



Réponse : Spaces and reciprocities/Bac de laure95, postée le 12-05-2019 à 10:14:47 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- to unify peoples: people est déjà un mot pluriel.

- When I think to (about pas to)exchanges and communication,
- the first thing that come (faute de conjugaison)to my mind is the use of social media.
- their use have (faute de conjugaison) been extended to all generations,
- Nowadays the majority of the population has (got) these new technologies
- Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and so on are ways to create new characters and new lives: que veux-tu dire?
- to joined: to + infinitif.
- Moreover I think that communication with social media are (faute de conjugaison) not very true,

- we don't need (article) langauage.
- Music is for me a symbol of peace, of (enlever of)unity.
- for this part: for that reason.
- I will focus on (article) results they got.
- because they succeeded to (pas la bonne préposition)convey joy,
- that is that (pas le bon mot)I love in music.
- Giving feelings, express (gérondif) myself and going in (pas la bonne préposition)another world

- But I don’t think that exchanges in (via pas in) social media are real
- it’s all our body which speak (là je crois que ma phrase est trop calquée sur le français mais je ne sais pas comment la reformuler): à enlever car on comprend ce que tu veux dire avec ta phrase précédente.
- Music is for me the best way to unify (chercher un synonyme)people,
- Music is (article)symbol of peace



Réponse : Spaces and reciprocities/Bac de gerold, postée le 12-05-2019 à 12:06:55 (S | E)
Bonjour Moona,

juste une remarque en plus de celles de Laure :

The notion I’m going to deal with is “Space and reciprocities”. Tous les autres parlent de "Spaces and Exchanges", si votre notion a un intitulé officiel, il est prudent de s'y tenir.



Réponse : Spaces and reciprocities/Bac de moona, postée le 12-05-2019 à 17:40:24 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour vos propositions, je corrige tout de suite (en vert).

The notion I’m going to deal with is “Spaces and exchanges”. To begin with, I’d just like to give a short definition of these two words. Space can be defined as a continuous unlimited area which may contain objects or not. Reciprocity is a mutual action, interchanges of goods or privileges between countries and organisations. Everyone can exchange though trade, social networks, travelling or just by speaking, learning new languages. Exchanges have shaped and characterized our modern-day world but they are also a way to unify people. That’s what we will see by answering this question: To what extent are exchanges a way to unify people? We will see first how media and then music are ways to unify peoples, to convey feelings, hope…

When I think about exchanges and communication, the first thing that comes to my mind is the use of social media. These communication tools are taking more and more parts in our society. Linked with the explosion of progress, their use has been extended to all generations, especially to teenagers. Nowadays the majority of the population has got these new technologies like smartphones or computers which allow us to communicate quite instantly with everyone through social media.

Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and so on are ways to create new characters and new lives: que veux-tu dire? Pour moi, ce que l'on raconte sur les réseaux sociaux ne nous correspond pas entièrement. On se construit une nouvelle personnalité, c'est presque une autre vie, un autre monde. Et certains en profitent même pour mentir sur leur identité et soutirer des informations.

That’s what we’ve seen in class by studying an extract from a The Terrible Privacy of Maxwell Sim by Jonathan Coe called “SouthCoastLizzie on Mumsnet”. The protagonist, Maxwell Sim broke up with his wife Caroline and tried to get in touch with her again. That’s why he decided to join Mumsnet, the most popular website for parents, with the user name “SouthCoastLizzie”. He pretended to be a single mother, invented him a life and tried to follow his ex-wife. This example shows really clearly that media allow us to communicate with others, to exchange, but they are able to separate us from the real world by creating a fictional life. Moreover I think that communication with social media is not very true, I don’t think that we really communicate, we are just chatting.

That’s why I chose another way to unify people which I think more appropriate or relevant. Music is for me a very particular way of exchange, music is better than words because we don’t need a language to understand it. Everyone, from every country is able to understand music, to appreciate it. Music is for me a symbol of peace, unity. I really liked what we studied in class because I think that it represents very well what I would like to say. We studied an article from The Times called “All together for jazz and kisses”. In this text we saw that young musicians from London went on a tour to the white suburbs and black townships of South Africa. We don’t really know what their goal was initially, but I will focus on the results they got. These young musicians went to black townships renowned for violence and brutality. They played music for these poor and rejected people and that was a way to create exchanges, links and friendliness. Some young musicians said after that “they felt so privileged and humbled by what they have seen”, because they succeeded in conveying joy, happiness and peace through music and that is what I love in music. Giving feelings, expressing myself and going to another world when I play. That’s why I think music is the best way to unify people.

To conclude, we’ve seen that social media are ways to exchange, to reduce time and distances. We can create new lives, post everything, discuss with everybody. But I don’t think that exchanges via social media are real, nothing would replace oral communication. That’s why I don’t really like speaking through social media and I prefer music. Music is for me the best way to bring together people, to pour out our heart. Music is a symbol of peace, it’s something which can go beyond languages, words and cultures.

Voilà, merci beaucoup laure et gerold




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