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Presentation/cyberbullying

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Presentation/cyberbullying
Message de noemie1310 posté le 11-04-2018 à 19:05:50 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je dois réaliser un exposé sur le thème du cyber harcèlement,
voici mon travail, pouvez-vous m'aider à corriger les erreurs que j'ai pu faire?
Merci beaucoup !

I have chosen to talk about the issue of cyberbullying. Cyberbullying is the word that was invented to refer to the fact of using technology in order to bully a person. It can occur through SMS, Texts, apps, or online in social media, forums, or gaming.
Cyberbullying appeared when children started trading dolls and jump ropes for Smartphones, computers and tablets. Indeed, cyberbullying is an issue that mainly concerns underage people.
As young people, the bullies are mentally weak and being the prey of repeated insults leads a certain number of them to put an end to their life.
Among others, I have in mind the sad story of Rebecca Ann Sedwick, an American girl who ended her life on September the 8th, 2013, after only 12 years of existence. That day she broke into an abandoned concrete plant near her home in Florida, climbed to the top of a silo, and leaped to her death. Investigation into her personal affairs found that Rebecca was being taunted by fifteen girls who kept on sending her hateful messages. The ring leader of the group, Guadalupe Shaw, rallied the others to taunt Rebecca in such a vile manner because the latter captured the attention of her boyfriend.
After her death, Rebecca’s bullies were not charged because they were all under 18 at the time. They were placed under school supervision and their parents were forced to pay compensation to Amanda’s parents. That’s all. After that, the fifteen of them went on living their life just like nothing happened.
This story illustrates well the fact that the law is not strict enough to prevent cyberbullying from happening. Thus, we may wonder what are the different ways to prevent it.
I have in mind 2 different ways of doing so, and both of them are about warning people.
Firstly we will see in what extend anti-cyber bullying campaigns can be a mean to reduce cyberbullying. In a second part we will demonstrate that cyberbullying may decrease thanks to certain softwares.

The project of anti-cyberbullying campaigns can be to publish either a poster or a video. Those posters or videos are meant to make cyberbullies think about the consequences their acts may have on their victims. It is the case, for instance, of this poster, which represents a computer mouse whose wire is tied as for someone to commit a suicide. I think this picture can speak a thousand words and I truly believe that it can make people react. For those who are cyberbullies, who hide themselves behind their screen to insult someone, being faced with this poster may make them realize that by doing so, they are putting someone’s life at risk, and it can lead them to stop cyberbullying others.
As for those who are not cyberbullies, the day they will be about to post a message or a picture that could hurt someone, they may re-think of this very poster, and decide not to send it.

Another way of stopping cyberbullying could be for Internet to ban insults. In other words, if every post including an insult was automatically deleted before being sent, cyberbullying would decrease. A software, whose role is close to that, was created in 2014 by a woman named Trisha Prabhu. This software, called Rethink, detects cyberbullying, and a warning message appears on the bully’s screen, asking him or her to re-think about what he or she wrote before sending it. A survey shows that thanks to Rethink, only 4% of the original messages are finally sent. Thus, this software enables to stop cyberbullying before the damage is done.

To conclude, the penal sentence a person can get if he or she cyberbullies someone doesn’t seem to be an efficient way to prevent cyberbullying from existing. However, there are other possibilities to prevent cyberbullies or potential cyberbullies from sending or posting hurtful messages online. As we mentioned it, two of those possibilities are to lead anti-cyber bullying campaigns and to use software which incite people to re-read their message before sending it. Both of those possibilities imply an ounce of maturity of the bullies. Nevertheless, on a blog I visited to find information for this presentation, I saw a comment which struck me. Haley, the woman who wrote it thinks that, I quote, ‘Bullying is going to happen no matter what. Instead of focusing on the bully we should work to improve children’s reaction to it”. Well, I would like you to give me your opinion about that.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 11-04-2018 21:31


Réponse : Presentation/cyberbullying de gerondif, postée le 13-04-2018 à 19:49:31 (S | E)
Bonjour
quelques unes de vos sources prises sur internet:
Lien internet

What Is Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place over digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets. Cyberbullying can occur through SMS, Text, and apps, or online in social media, forums, or gaming where people can view, participate in, or share content.

On retrouve donc certaines de vos phrases toutes faites, mais vous avez résumé et fait des phrases de liaison.
erreurs en bleu
I have chosen to talk about the issue of cyberbullying. Cyberbullying is the word that was invented to refer to the fact of using technology in order to bully a person. It can occur through SMS, Texts, apps, or online in social media, forums, or gaming.
Cyberbullying appeared when children started trading dolls and jump ropes for Smartphones, computers and tablets. Indeed, cyberbullying is an issue that mainly concerns underage people.
As young people, the bullies are mentally weak and being the prey of repeated insults leads a certain number of them to put an end to their life.
Among others, I have in mind the sad story of Rebecca Ann Sedwick, an American girl who ended her life on September the 8th, 2013, after only 12 years of existence. That day she broke into an abandoned concrete plant near her home in Florida, climbed to the top of a silo, and leaped to her death. Investigation into her personal affairs found that Rebecca was being taunted by fifteen girls who kept on sending her hateful messages. The ring leader of the group, Guadalupe Shaw, rallied the others to taunt Rebecca in such a vile manner because the latter had captured the attention of her boyfriend.
After her death, Rebecca’s bullies were not charged because they were all under 18 at the time. They were placed under school supervision and their parents were forced to pay compensation to Amanda’s parents. That’s all. After that, the fifteen of them went on living their life just like(comme si) nothing happened.
This story illustrates well the fact that the law is not strict enough to prevent cyberbullying from happening. Thus, we may wonder what are(à mettre en fin de phrase) the different ways to prevent it.
I have in mind 2 different ways of doing so, and both of them are about warning people.
Firstly we will see in(to) what extend anti-cyber bullying campaigns can be a mean to reduce cyberbullying. In a second part we will demonstrate that cyberbullying may decrease thanks to certain softwares.

The project of anti-cyberbullying campaigns can be to publish either a poster or a video. Those posters or videos are meant to make cyberbullies think about the consequences their acts may have on their victims. It is the case, for instance, of this poster, which represents a computer mouse whose wire is tied as for someone to commit a suicide. I think this picture can speak a thousand words and I truly believe that it can make people react. For those who are cyberbullies, who hide themselves behind their screen to insult someone, being faced with this poster may make them realize that by doing so, they are putting someone’s life at risk, and it can lead them to stop cyberbullying others.
As for those who are not cyberbullies, the day they will be about to post a message or a picture that could hurt someone, they may re-think of this very poster, and decide not to send it.

Another way of stopping cyberbullying could be for Internet to ban insults. In other words, if every post including an insult was automatically deleted before being sent, cyberbullying would decrease. A software, whose (normalement ne s'applique pas à un objet mais ça s'entend) role is close to that, was created in 2014 by a woman named Trisha Prabhu. This software, called Rethink, detects cyberbullying, and a warning message appears on the bully’s screen, asking him or her to re-think about what he or she wrote before sending it. A survey shows that thanks to Rethink, only 4% of the original messages are finally sent. Thus, this software enables to stop cyberbullying before the damage is done.

To conclude, the penal sentence a person can get if he or she cyberbullies someone doesn’t seem to be an efficient way to prevent cyberbullying from existing. However, there are other possibilities to prevent cyberbullies or potential cyberbullies from sending or posting hurtful messages online. As we mentioned it, two of those possibilities are to lead anti-cyber bullying campaigns and to use software which incite people to re-read their message before sending it. Both of those possibilities imply an ounce of maturity of(de la part de , en provenance de) the bullies. Nevertheless, on a blog I visited to find information for this presentation, I saw a comment which struck me. Haley, the woman who wrote it thinks that, I quote, ‘Bullying is going to happen no matter what. Instead of focusing on the bully we should work to improve children’s reaction to it”. Well, I would like you to give me your opinion about that.
Peu d'erreurs en fait.






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